I won't let you face your life alone
by hectatess
Summary: Life can surprise you with where it takes you, but Castiël Novak kinda got it going. It doesn't bother him, and his life is pretty ok... until that one day, when he is sick, and still went to work. He meets that one guy who helped him out once... and shit, his eyes are still that green...
1. Chapter 1

Castiël sighed as he stared out of the reception area window. His appointment was late, and he was bored. Not to mention feeling sick. He had a nasty cold and his voice was failing. But staying home was the last thing he would do. Balthazar would baby him to no end, so he had gone to the office.  
Of all the things he thought he would be at this age, accountant was never on his list.  
It hadn't been in sight of said list.  
It just happened to be something he was good at. Numbers held no mysteries for him.  
When he'd entered his college class the first time, people thought he'd walked in the wrong room.  
When he graduated, summa cum laude, his classmates had fully accepted his excentric behaviour and looks.

His older brother, Gabriel, had reminded him that college wasn't real life, and businesses wouldn't hire him, looking the way he did.  
So Castiël had spend countless boring hours with his brother, picking out a new wardrobe.  
Black was too dominant, Gabriel had pointed out, or too depressing. Navy blue would be the darkest Castiël was allowed. Even his tie was subject to some sort of etiquette. Red was agressive, blue calming, and a calm and collected accountant would be hired over one with an agressive tie.. Castiël hated his ties. He never could get them to behave.

His shoes at least could be black, but not the combat boots Castiël preferred. Loafers or business shoes, Gabriel had told him sternly.  
One thing Castiël had been adamant about, was his coat.  
Gabriel had tried to get him to buy a peacoat, but Castiël didn't like them. He was loath to abandon his calf-length, black coat with the silver fastings, not only because it was part of who Castiël **was** , but also because its length made him feel safe, protected.  
They ended up agreeing on buying a tan trenchcoat, same length as his black one.

Castiël smiled as he thought about his brother.  
Gabriel was an annoying, bouncy guy, but his heart was pure. Sure he pranked and tricked you, but when it mattered, he had your back.  
Like this job. One day Gabriel had just burst through the door and hugged him.  
"Cassie, brother... we're going to be collegues!" he'd exclaimed, confusing Castiël immensely, because Gabriel worked maintenance, and how could he become Castiël's collegue?

It turned out that the company where Gabriel was head maintenance, had a job opening on accountancy.  
Castiël had applied, and now he drove his car and his brother to work every day.  
His smile broadened, thinking about how Gabriel had tried to push Castiël into buying a boring car.  
Castiël adamantly refused to buy a brand new car. Too many computerised parts, and they all just looked the same. Even the New Beetle, like Gabriel wanted to have, was too generic to Castiël's tastes. He had settled for a tan Mark 5 Continental.  
Castiël loved classic cars. Preferably muscle cars. Even better if said car was pitch black.

A deep rumble perked him up.  
A sleek, pitch black classic Chevrolet Impala just pulled up on the parking lot.  
Now **that** was a car Castiël would love to drive, even just sit in, shotgun or even the backseat. He could imagine the deep growl she had to make. The car stopped just in his sight and Castiël sighed happily.

The drivers door opened and out stepped the most gorgeous man Castiël had ever seen.  
His features were symmetric, even though his eyes might be called big by some. His build was muscular under the peacoat, and he walked with easy confidence, even if he was slightly bowlegged.  
Castiël licked his lips. This would be one man he would like to know better.  
The man had a smile playing around his full mouth and he opened the passenger door.

Lisa Braeden from Customer Care stepped out and Castiël's mood soured instantly.  
He didn't like Lisa. She kept flirting with him, eventhough he had told her he wasn't interested.  
Maybe the beautiful man was her brother or...  
The man kissed Lisa on the mouth. Damn. That probably meant he was Dean, the boyfriend of many years.  
Lisa turned to get to the office and waved at Dean. Dean winked and waved back.  
Once Lisa was inside, she turned her eyes on Castiël.  
"Hey there, handsome. Were you waiting for me?"  
Castiël deadpanned.  
"No. You know I'm not. My appointment is late." he grumbled, his deep voice hoarse.  
She smiled her white teeth bare.  
"If they don't show, you could come to me for some company." she cooed and winked.  
Castiël glanced back outside, where the black car slid into traffic.  
"No thank you. Please tell Dean I like his car." he said stonily and left the reception.


	2. Chapter 2

When Castiël left the office that night, wrapped in a scarf and his coat because he actually felt like hammered crap, that beautiful car was standing in front of the building.  
Dean stood leaning against it, obviously waiting.  
"Hello, Dean." Castiël hoarsely said, hoping Dean would answer.  
Dean tilted his head minutely and a soft, curious smile formed.  
"Hello. Have we met?" he asked, and Castiël loved the gruff sound of his voice.  
Castiël bit his lip. Damn his social awkwardness.  
"No. Not really, but I saw you drop off Lisa, so I assumed you are Dean."  
Dean chuckled low, making his eyes crinkle up at the sides.  
"Yeah, That's a logical conclusion. So, you are?"

Castiël held out his gloved hand.  
"Castiël Novak, from accounting." he said and stepped closer.  
His breath caught. Dean's eyes were astonishing, and eerily familiar. Castiël hoped Dean would reply with his last name too. It suddenly was very important.  
"Pleased to meet you, Castiël. I'm Dean Winchester."  
Emotions rose like bile and Castiël couldn't speak.  
It **was** him. Castiël knew it, as soon as he'd seen those eyes up close.  
He swallowed hard and ground out: "Pleassure. I love your car." before turning and leaving.  
Once he sat behind the wheel of his own car, Castiël allowed the memory to sweep over him.

 **It was his freshman year in highschool, and other kids were picking on him, because his reactions were so much fun. Castiël had run from PE and was hiding in a dark corner of the hallway, under the stairs.**  
 **"Hey there buddy. Are you ok?" a gruffish voice had asked. Castiël had raised his head and stared into the most beautiful green eyes he'd ever seen.**  
 **"I'm talking to you, kid. You look miserable, to be honest." the freckled boy with those eyes had said. Castiël had just nodded.**  
 **"I am. The boys in my class pick on me. My clothes are wrong, I like the wrong music and I'm weird..." he had choked out, tears stinging his eyes.**

 **The other boy, Castiël estimated him about two years his senior, had simply sidled in next to him.**  
 **"Screw them, huh. You are you. They don't matter. I don't like to listen to all those bleach blonde sexbombs that croon about love either. I'm into AC/DC, and Metallica." The leather clad shoulders had moved in an uncaring shrug.**  
 **"So what? Doesn't make me less than others. Those bullies? Don't mind them, be yourself and if they corner you, punch their lights out. If they still bother you, tell them Dean Winchester hates bullies, and he will come after them."**  
 **Castiël had gaped at the selfassured boy.**  
 **"That's me, by the way, Dean Winchester. So. You dry those pretty eyes, buddy, and be proud of who you are. 'Cause you're the only you there is."**  
 **Dean had clapped Castiël's shoulder and moved away.**

 **Castiël had taken his advice to heart. Next time Bartholomew and his gang had him cornered, he swung, and he had knocked out Bartholomew in one blow. Ever since, the other kids had left him alone.**  
 **He never saw Dean Winchester again. Anna, Castiël's niece, had told him Dean and his little brother had moved away.**  
 **This had saddened Castiël, but he knew that was life. He wished he could thank Dean for his help, though. He did in his own way, by starting to listen to Deans music. He found out he liked it, and once he dipped his toes in the metal subculture, he had found a lifestyle he liked.**  
 **The rest of his school years, Castiël had kept to Dean's guidelines. He had stayed proud of who he was and once he was legally of age, he had gotten a tattoo. Two massive black wings, to symbolise the freedom that one kid had given him.**

And now Dean was back in his life. In the most sideways way ever, but Castiël was happy to know Dean was still doing ok. Admittedly dating Lisa wasn't really ok, since she flirted continuously with anything breathing, but maybe their relationship was that open.  
Castiël wouldn't judge. That wasn't what Dean had taught him.

He stared at that black car and Dean Winchester, until Lisa showed up and took them both out of his sight.  
Castiël bit his lip and hugged himself closely, before Gabriel came out and saw him like this.  
He had just collected his thoughts and emotions, when the passenger door opened and his brother slid in.  
"Hiya Cassie. Hope I didn't keep you. Someone got a copier jammed again. And Crowley needed it for a rush copy of a file... I don't know." the 5'7" ball of energy rattled.  
Castiël didn't say anything, just turned he key and started to drive.  
"Seatbelt, Gabriel." were his only words until they got home.

"Cassie... What's eating you, baby brother? You haven't said a word."  
Gabriel was suddenly abandoning his usual chatter to observe him carefully.  
"That's not true. I told you to fasten your seatbelt." Castiël objected.  
Gabriel sent him an amused glance, but wasn't deterred.  
"Not my point, Rain Man. What's the matter?"  
Taking a calming breath, Castiël decided to brave the teasing.  
"I ran into an old aquaintance today."

Making his eyebrows dance lewdly, Gabriel grinned.  
"Ooooh! An old aquaintance huh? Sexy?"  
Keeping his features schooled, Castiël blinked his emotions away.  
"I wouldn't know, Gabriel. I don't qualify people along those lines. Besides, it wouldn't matter. Dean is Lisa's boyfriend."  
Gabriel looked like he was swallowing a lemon.  
"Lisa? The hussie from CC? UGH. Can't say I get his taste in women."  
Thinking back on that goodbye kiss, how happy Dean had seemed, and how Lisa had acted towards Castiël, Castiël had to admit that his brother had a point.

"He looked happy enough..." Castiël admitted softly.  
Gabriel looked at his brother sharply.  
"You didn't talk to him? Why not?"  
Resting his head on the steeringwheel, Castiël sighed deeply.  
"I spoke to him, but he didn't remember me. Maybe I didn't leave much of an impression."  
Gabriel shoved him lightly.  
"Knowing you, you did, brother. Come, I know for a fact that oma has pie."  
Shaking his head at Gabriel's sweettooth, Castiël followed him inside.


	3. Chapter 3

Of course, now that Castiël knew that Dean Winchester was back in Sioux Falls, he saw him everywhere.  
In the supermarket, at the hardware store, and of course at the office.  
Every now and then, Dean would drop Lisa off at Nomed, and Castiël would get closer, just to hear that gruff voice and maybe see those green eyes brighten in greeting.  
They never really spoke after that first day, but Castiël observed Dean casually. He noticed how he seemed happy with Lisa, but the more Castiël saw him, the less sure he was that Dean knew about Lisa's proclivities.  
He told Gabriel about his worries, and his brother agreed to keep an eye and an ear out.

At the company Christmas party, Dean sang and played guitar.  
Castiël sighed. Could Dean be more perfect? 'Yes, if he was gay and single...' Castiël's eyes flew open. What was that thought? His mood soured and he drank his beer with a scowl.  
"Cassie... What's wrong?" Gabriel walked up to him and looked him in the eye with his golden eyes full of worry.  
"Gabriel... I'm in such trouble."  
He gestured at the stage and sighed.  
"That's Dean." he simply stated and chugged more beer.

Gabriel looked in the indicated direction and gasped.  
"Holy CHUPA CHUPS." he breathed. "You sure got an eye for the guys, Cassie. He is gorgeous!"  
His amber eyes narrowed as they slid to Lisa, who was dancing close to her boss, Brady.  
"That bitch doesn't know what she's doing. That one is a keeper. His soul is pure."  
Castiël chuckled, despite his mood.  
"You're getting poetic when you drink..."  
"Shush, Cassie. Wait... is it the lighting, or are his eyes really that green?"  
Castiël rubbed his neck. He could sense where this was going.  
"It is not the lights, Gabriel..."  
Squinting at Dean, taking him in fully, Gabriel suddenly gasped.  
"He is **that** Dean? Are you fucking kidding me, Cassie?"

Miserably, Castiël shook his head.  
"No... I am not. He is that Dean. I never knew he was back in town, until I saw him that day."  
Gabriel bit his lip, golden eyes darting between Castiël and Dean.  
"Well, rotten candyapples... This is a whole new level of crap, Castiël."  
The fact that Gabriel used his full name, made clear he knew exactly how crappy things were.  
"Don't worry, baby bro. I got your back, as always."  
Grateful, Castiël hugged his brother.  
"Thank you, Gabriel."

Later that night, as Castiël hoisted a drunk Gabriel out of his car and into his house, Gabriel grabbed his cheeks.  
"Cassie... not all is lost. I am sure he can be saved from the octolady..." he intoned sincerely.  
Struggling with his keys, and a drunken brother, Castiël was totally lost at sea as to what Gabriel meant.  
"What? What are you saying, Gabriel?"  
Finally his key turned and the door opened.  
"You got a fine ass, Castiël... You know that, don'tcha?" Gabriel purred into Castiël's trenchcoat.  
"That's inapropriate..." Castiël mused.

"Oh my God, Cassie! Is he really saying that? He's your **brother**! You perverted imp!"  
Startled at the sudden voice, Castiël turned around.  
"Balthazar. Hello. Gabriel is slightly inibriated..."  
The blonde guy with the British accent and the deep V-neck, shook his head.  
"Only slightly? Really, Gaby, you should know your limit. Not that he's wrong, by the way, Cassie. Your bum is quite attractive..."  
Gabriel let out a triumphant "HAH!"  
Cheeks burning, Castiël tried to get his brother of his jacket.  
"Balthazar! You're only encouraging him!"

With a put upon sigh, Balthazar turned around.  
"Fine. I will get the green room ready. Need a bucket, Gaby?" he drawled, raising an elegant eyebrow.  
"Heeeeyyy... Hiya Balthy! I'm ok... it's Cassie... he mblfblmmm."  
Looking for all the world as if smothering your brother with your hand was perfectly normal, Castiël nodded at Balthazar.  
"Please, do, Balthazar. He has had a lot to drink. He might not feel so perky in a few hours."  
Gabriel squirmed behind Castiël's hand, but he kept it firmly in place.  
"Get him that extra pair of pyjama's too, please. I'll put him to bed, like the child he... GABRIEL! THAT IS GROSS!"  
Gabriel sniggered. He'd licked Castiël's hand.

Shaking his head, Balthazar regally ascended the stairs.  
"I'm living with a child, and his brother is even worse. I'm glad we're not in a relation, Cassie. I'd have ran so far, even God couldn't find me."  
Wiping his hand on his slacks, Castiël sighed.  
"Yes, me too, Balthazar, me too."  
Gabriel looked from the stairs to his brother.  
"So I set this up for nothin'? Crap, Cassie. Why do you always rain on my parade?"

Castiël sighed. He'd always thought Gabriel was responsible for Balthazar popping up when he did, and now, in his drunken rambling, Gabriel confirmed it.  
"You're a manipulative troll, Gabriel. You know that, right? But I'm ok with this one. It's worked out ok."  
Gabriel roughly hugged his brother.  
"I luv ya, Cassie." he crooned into Castiël's suit jacket.  
"I know, Gabriel. I know. Come on. Let's get you to bed. I'm sure Balthazar has retreated to his own room."  
Gabriel hung his head.  
"Such a shame. What a waste... But I'll do ya better, baby brother, I swear!"  
Castiël chuckled. "Please don't..."


	4. Chapter 4

Castiël heaved a happy sigh as he pulled on his black T-shirt to work at the bar.  
It was inconvenient on one side, but he liked the job on the other.  
Balthazar had suddenly upped and left, no explaination given, which had made Gabriel hatch the ridiculous theory that he was a weapons dealer and the cops got too close.  
Castiël thought it way more likely that Balthazar had found a lover somewhere and on a whim had moved in with them.  
He didn't mind. He wanted his friend to be happy and healthy.  
Only downside: Castiël has to work two jobs to keep his house.

Again Gabriel had come to the rescue. He had told Castiël about the weekend job at his favorite wateringhole.  
Castiël had once again applied, and got the job.  
He'd been tending the bar for half a year now, and he liked how people told him their troubles, and he could help them by being him  
He often repeated Dean Winchester's advice to him.  
"Be true to yourself. You are the only you there is..."

Well over another year had passed since that night when Castiël had seen Dean perform, and consequently realised that his crush hadn't been gone at all. Dean had sung on the last Christmas party too, and it had been painfully obvious to Castiël and his brother that 'dear old Dean-o' (as Gabriel called him) was still very much in love with his cheating skank girlfriend. Who blatantly danced and flirted with Brady, the guy she'd been screwing around with for over a year.

Castiël's phone bleeped as he got a message.

Received 4.27 pm Gabriel:  
Cassie, you still working double shifts?  
Please let me help you find another housemate.  
You'll work yourself to the ground.

Castiël shook his dark head, and ignored the message.  
After Balthazar, Castiël did not want Gabriel to help him get another tenant. He would find some poor schmuck that would not realise Gabriel was trying to set up his baby brother, and trouble would come of it.

From the start of May on, Gabriel suddenly started sending weird messages to Castiël, who, after puzzling over them, decided to let him get it out of his system, whatever it was.  
It started with this cryptic message, recieved on May 5th.

Received 10.17 Gabriel:  
Cassie!   
A little birdy told me someone got in late, hugged pseudo Dad, who got in bro, and holed up for an hour and a half, emerging looking like hammered crap.  
Do we smell trouble in paradise?

Castiël, stumped as to who or what this was about, had replied with a curt message, telling his brother to butt out of unknowing peoples lives.  
That had seemed to help, but somewhere mid June, he got another.

Received 5,32 Gabriel:  
Dude,  
Third day of dropping off, picking up.  
No kissy or hugs. None of the times.  
He seems cold, distant.  
The plot thickens.

Castiël was working overtime that day, he had seen Dean drive off with Lisa and he was definitely not in the mood for his brother's games. He called him.  
"Gabriel... stop messing with people. I don't know, and I don't care, who this is about. Go home, get into watching some horrible Spanish soap-opera. Leave real life people in peace!"  
Gabriel had cackled, making Castiël fear the worst for the poor persons Gabriel was interested in.  
"Sorry, bucko! No can do. I'm too invested in this one! You take care, and don't work too late. Otherwise you might get trapped inside the building again."

Castiël narrowed his eyes at that remark.  
"I am still convinced you had something to do with that. Jacob usually checks all offices twice. How he missed me is beyond me. It was embarrassing to get arrested and having to prove I work here. I am glad mr. Crowley came over to do so."  
Gabriel was laughing by now.  
"Seriously, Cassie. How could I be involved? You're lucky mr. Gold got that call, recognised your name and got Crowley to vouch. Just be out before seven, huh?"  
Castiël grunted a farewell and disconnected.

Somewhere, half way through October, Castiël was called to Customer Care for a party.  
Sighing, because A: he still had work to do and B: he did **not** want to see Lisa, Castiël grabbed his suit jacket and got to the second floor.  
The two-timing trollop was sitting on her desk, radiant.  
"Hello, handsome!" she greeted him.  
"I'm buying all of you some drinks. Not me though. Well nothing strong for me. I'm pregnant!"  
Bile rose in Castiël's throat as he accepted a cup of sparkling white wine.  
He managed to grit his teeth and give a "Congratulations" , then he downed the cup in one go.  
He even managed to stay an acceptable time. He smiled and waved goodbye before leaving for the bathroom to throw up.

Gabriel was there, of course he was.  
"Easy bro... easy. I'm sorry."  
Castiël had turned his miserable blue eyes on his big brother, who rubbed soothing circles on his back as he ducked his head back down and heaved.  
"You know, Cassie. There's a pretty big chance it isn't even his. I mean, she was boinking Brady, but I caught her hopping on the good foot, doing the bad thing with Zachariah too."  
Castiël gagged even worse.  
"I know. He could be her Dad! Oh, and Isaiah and Remi... she's at least snogged them."  
Wiping his mouth, Castiël got to his feet. He washed his face and rinsed his mouth at the bathroom sink.  
"All of that doesn't matter, Gabriel. If Dean doesn't know the baby isn't his, he shall care for it. And she can break him for the rest of his life. All she needs to do is tell him."

And that thought haunted him, every time he saw Dean, or Lisa.  
He wanted to take Dean aside and just blurt it all out, but who was he to do that? Wasn't he just jealous, and wanting to break things between the two?  
So he smiled and waved, noting how Dean seemed tired, but still perky towards everyone.  
Christmas was nearing, and Castiël was loath to think of the upcoming party.  
He'd stay in the shadows, observe and be gone as soon as it was acceptable.


	5. Chapter 5

Vowing to himself that he'd break out the good stuff once he was home, Castiël poured himself another cup of virgin punch.  
Gabriel had been adamant that he'd stay sober, until he was back home.  
The room was buzzing with talk, but also with a kind of tension. Castiël knew why, and it made him wish his drink had some oomph.  
Dean climbed on stage, guitar in hand. He would sing another lovey, dovey song that somehow would show everyone how he loved Lisa, and probably their baby too, and Castiël would want to throw up again.

Dean strummed the strings a few times, then picked a chord.  
He swallowed hard and all of a sudden Castiël saw his face become a mask.  
Hard, cold, devoid of feelings.  
Then he started to sing.

"It started off so well.  
They said we made a perfect pair.  
I clothed myself in your glory and your love.  
How I loved you,  
How I cried."

This was unexpected... it didn't seem to register with most of the people, but this was not like other years.

"Years of care and loyalty,  
Were nothing but a sham it seemed.  
Years belie,  
We lived the lie.  
I'll love you, 'til I die."

It was like someone had punched Castiël in the stomach.  
This song... it was pure heartbreak.

"The slate will soon be cleaned.  
I'll erase the memories.  
To start again with somebody new.  
Was it all wasted?  
All that love?"

Heart breaking to tiny pieces for the hurt in these words, Castiël set one step forward, to the light.  
His eyes sought and found Dean's and read everything from them.  
He knew, Dean knew everything. How? Anybody's guess was good.  
All Castiël knew, was how empty those green eyes were when they found Lisa in the crowd.  
His hand crushed his paper cup.

Gabriel's hand landed on his arm and Castiël snapped out of it.  
"Cassie... go. Leave, keep an eye on him. He's hurting and who knows what he's gonna do..."  
Castiël hugged his brother, glad he read the situation as good as he himself had.  
And he was right. Dean would need a guardian angel for now.  
Castiël left the office silently and swiftly.

He was barely in his car, when the doors opened again, and the achingly familiar figure of Dean stepped out into the starting snowstorm. He was wearing a leather jacket, and if Castiël wasn't mistaken, it was the same one he had worn that day in highschool.  
Dean shrugged deeper in his jacket and just started walking out of the parking lot.  
Castiël followed him, worry swirling around him like the snow.


	6. Chapter 6

Heater in the car blasting warmth, Castiël circled the block.  
Dean had vanished inside the house, and logically, Castiël should have left, but something about the way Dean had left the party had him decide to stick around.  
Dean didn't come in his car. Castiël would have noticed that black beauty on the lot.  
Why would Dean walk all the way to Nomed?  
The car wasn't at the driveway either. Castiël frowned, peering through the thickening snowfall.  
Something was definitely off.

A movement caught his eye and he focussed.  
Dean had come through the gate, a duffel slung over his shoulder. He stared at the sidewalk as he walked, not noticing anything.  
Castiël's heart ached. Dean looked broken, alone.  
Driving slowly by, he tried to catch the look on Dean's face, but the snow was obscuring his vision.

Careful to not get caught, Castiël drove around, trying to calculate where Dean was headed. He lost him for a block, but he found him again.  
Alarmed, Castiël noticed the build up of snow on his shoulders and duffel. If Dean didn't get to where he was going fast, he'd catch his Death!  
Castiël eased his car to the side of the road and fished out his cellphone.  
Keeping an eye on Dean, he tapped out a number.

"Sioux Falls sherrifs office, Sherrif Jody Mills speaking." A crisp, no-no sense voice answered.  
Castiël breathed a sigh of relief. No panicky or desinterested phone operator.  
"Good evening, Sherrif. I'm calling about a worrying situation." he said, deliberately not stating his name.  
"Oh? If this is about the fact that we are in a blizzard, we do know. It's kinda hard to miss..."

Despite the serious situation, Castiël chuckled.  
"No, not really, but the snow and the temperature do play a part. I am looking at Dean Winchester, as he is walking down West Jordan drive, away from South Holbrooke avenue. He left his house on foot, and he looks lost and heartbroken. I fear he might do something stupid."  
A soft "what the Hell, Winchester..." was all he heard before a series of noises, bangs and cusses disrupted the call.  
"Sorry, sir. I dropped my stuff. I'm on my way. Don't worry. I'll get him home."  
Castiël smiled at the curt assurance and thanked the Sherrif before disconnecting the call.

Weighing his options, Castiël got out of the car and walked along with Dean until he saw the patrolcar pull up next to the hunched over shape.  
"Dean Winchester! You damn fool! Get in here!" a clear, female voice called out.  
Dean's head shot up, and the ghost of a smile broke through.  
Feeling Dean was safe, Castiël walked back to his car and carefully drove home, while the patrolcar drove off in the other direction.

The soothing tones of Demons and Wizards 'the fiddler on the green' and a stiff whiskey calmed Castiël's nerves a bit. Dean was safe. Sherrif Mills got him. She'd take care of him. He wouldn't do anything drastic... would he? Please don't let him do anything to hurt himself... or worse... Castiël shivered, despite the warm blanket he had wrapped around him.  
His phone rang and he turned down the volume of his stereo.  
"Gabriel..."  
"Cassie! Did he get home ok?"  
Castiël smiled. That was Gabriel. Cut to the chase and get answers.  
"Yes. He left shortly after, however. Gabriel... he was carrying a duffelbag."  
"Hells Bells... He's running, baby bro. You got eyes on him? Wait... That's that awful, gloomy song I hear on the background... Why the Hell are you home, bucko?"  
Castiël smiled. He was so proud of his big brother. Always protective, even if a bit manipulative at times.

"I had eyes on him. He was walking, Gabriel. Walking."  
A gasp and a wooshing sound.  
"What the... in **this**?" Gabriel sounded as appalled as Cas felt when he realised Dean was not turning around.  
"Yes, after four blocks I called the Sherrif. Turns out she knows him, if I'm any judge."  
An approving hum told him Gabriel hadn't known.  
"And? She take him in?"

Castiël sighed.  
"She didn't 'take him in' Gabriel. She drove off with him. Probably to the place where he wanted to go to anyway."  
Gabriel made a sound, that made Castiël think he was munching on sweets again.  
"Fo..." Gabriel swallowed. "You didn't stick around to make sure?"  
"Gabriel, I like the man, but I am not a stalker. The Sherrif has him. He is safe."  
"You hope... God, Cassie... sometimes. Ok. I got this."

Castiël rolled his eyes and chugged his whiskey down in one go.  
"Please don't, brother." he plead.  
Gabriel chuckled and made kissy sounds in the phone.  
"Love you baby bro! Night!" he called and hung up.  
Castiël returned to his music and poured another scotch.  
He was still getting drunk tonight, only for a different reason than he'd thought a few hours back.


	7. Chapter 7

The insistant buzzing of his phone finally made Castiël crack open an eye.  
"Damnit, Gabriel..." he groaned as he saw the caller ID.  
"What is it, Gabriel? You ran out of Jolly Ranchers?"  
A mock gasp sounded on the other side.  
"Castiël James Novak! Go wash your mouth! That is no joking matter!"  
Too hung over and too sore from sleeping hunched on the sofa, Castiël rolled his eyes and then his shoulders.  
"Serves you right for waking me up." he said bitterly.

"I'm sorry, mister Mopey. I got news for you. Dear old Dean-o is currently safe and sound at his surrogate Dad, and his brother is there too. So he is indeed safe. I talked to him, and for now he says he needs family. I think he definitely left that two-timing snake. Good, right?"  
That news did perk Castiël up a bit.  
"Yes, Gabriel. That's all very good news. Thank you. Now can you be the angel mom named you after, and let me die in peace?"  
Gabriel chuckled softly, knowingly, and it annoyed the Hell out of Castiël.  
"You're hung over, baby bro... You working tonight?"

Castiël let his head fall back on the back of the sofa.  
"Oh no. Thank my lucky stars. No. I planned this very well. I told them I had a party, so I could get very drunk once I got home."  
Gabriel sighed softly, and his tone changed dramatically.  
"I'm so sorry Cassie. You were hurting every time, weren't you?"  
Hardly surprised at how his brother always knew things, Castiël hummed an affirmative, rubbing his stinging eyes.  
"Yes. But the good news is I have some time off now. Next shift is the 23rd. I can die and get revived before then, I hope. I am glad Nomed closes shop for Christmas."  
While Gabriel hummed, Castiël heard faint clicking sounds.  
"I will leave you to your texting and take a hot bath. Maybe drink some fluids. Non-alcoholic ones..."  
Gabriel hummed again. "Ok baby bro. Maybe I will pop in on the 23rd. Get a drink from you. Strawberry daiquiri or something. Love you!"  
He disconnected before Castiël could answer.

On the 23rd, Castiël pulled on his black bar t-shirt, skin tight jeans and put on his combat boots. He was actually looking forward to his shift. A chance to get out of thinking about Dean, and whether the man was ok. It was messing with him, big time.  
He sang along to the music in his car, letting the familiar tones of 'Thunderstruck' get him in the right mindset.  
When Castiël entered, Samandriël looked up from the cocktail he was making and smiled.  
"Hello Castiël. How was the party?"  
"Unexpectedly different, Samandriël. I'm still unsure if it was a good or bad different." Castiël answered.  
Dropping his coat and belongings in the staff room, he rolled his shoulders, ready for a long night.

Somewhere around ten, Castiël was totally in his comfortzone. He was joking, mixing drinks with a fast and steady hand, when it happened.  
From the corner of his eye, he noticed a wave for attention, and he turned.  
Shock nailed him to the floor for a heartbeat.  
Dean was sitting at the bar... his green eyes widened and a slight blush creeping up his freckled cheeks.  
Forcing himself to move was the most difficult thing Castiël had ever done in this bar, especially when Dean licked his lips, that pink tip of his tongue darting out and leaving Dean's plush lips glistening.  
Castiël gulped and finally walked over.

"Hello, Dean. What can I get you to drink?"  
Dean looked a bit dazed, and Castiël wondered if he had been drinking before getting here. Oh well, if he didn't order anything too strong. He could get a beer or two.  
"Yeah, ehm... I'd like a beer for now please." Dean answered in that gruff voice.  
It seemed Castiël had caught him off guard. A satisfied smile tugged at Castiël's mouth as he asked the inevitable 'tap or bottle' question.  
Watching Dean's adamsapple bob when he swallowed, Castiël cursed his luck. Of all the bars Dean could have picked...  
He got Dean his tap beer and got back to work.

Ten minutes later, all was made clear when he heard his brother greet Dean jovially.  
 _'Why you little... Gabriel! Stop this. Dean isn't gay, why set us up like this?'_  
He tried to ignore the pair, but Gabriel made it difficult.  
Castiël just **knew** he was the topic of their conversation when Gabriel said something about bouncing a quarter off an ass. He always said stuff like that about Castiël's butt.  
And usually Castiël didn't mind, but this was **Dean** Gabriel was waxing poetic to. His secret crush. One Castiël wanted to stay secret.  
But when Dean told Gabriel to shut up, his heart did stutter.  
It sounded like Dean minded what Castiël felt. Oh he was such a pure soul!

Gabriel just chuckled and made things worse.  
"What? I can say that. He doesn't mind. Besides, there's no rule that says a guy can't flirt with men."  
Except, Castiël did mind, and he knew that his flirty brother had ulterior motives. He always had. Busying himself with orders, Castiël turned his back on the two and tuned them out.  
Until Gabriel raised his voice that was.  
Glancing over, Castiël caught his brother's wink and twinkly eyes. Oh no...  
"Here I was, thinking you were so far in the closet that you discovered Narnia!" Gabriel exclaimed.  
Castiël felt the blood rise to his ears. On one hand, he felt amazingly embarrased, on the other, he really wanted to know what Dean said next. So he kept working, but his attention was on the two men.

Dean didn't speak as loudly as Gabriel, so Castiël strained his ears to catch what he said.  
"Ok. I'll bite. Why would you think that?" Dean asked, an amused quirk to his mouth.  
Dean voiced Castiël's thoughts perfectly. Why on Earth would Gabriel think it, when Dean was so obviously straight and with Lisa?  
"Cause, you muttonhead, you were all lovey-dovey with Lisa the octolady, but I caught you checking out Castiël's ass."  
Castiël nearly choked on air. He was doomed. Dean would get up, throw his beer over Gabriel and leave his life forever.  
He moved over to suss the situation, when Dean answered.  
"The silent type, from accounting? Dark sexhair, always in a navyblue suit and backwards blue tie? Yeah... he has a great ass in that suit."

A lot of thoughts popped into Castiël's head at that.  
 _'What? He didn't recognise me.. of course he didn't. First time you met as adults, you were wrapped up like a mummy and hoarse, because you were sick, and after that you kept a distance. He never saw you up close. He checked out my ass? He thinks it looks great. Oh my God!'_  
Catching his brother's smirk Castiël came to himself, just in time to get the order for that awfully sweet strawberry daiquiri.  
Anger at Gabriel's blatant meddling rose and he cast Gabriel a dark look, before putting on his polite mask.  
"Sure. Coming up." He turned to Dean, smile frozen in place. "You want another tap?"

"Yeah. That'd be great, thanks. And I'm sorry if my pal here made you uncomfortable. I'll tell him to can it." Dean said, his eyes sincere.  
No anger could withstand that face, and Castiël felt his smile thaw, become real.  
"That's ok. I'm used to it. He never knows when to quit." Castiël said, backing the last sentence up with some steel in his voice.  
Of course his brother ignored him.  
"You know me... and you love me." Gabriel said, quoting their oma (Dutch for granny) when she had been caught being mischievous.  
Castiël smirked, told Gabriel to shut up and got them their drinks.

Glad it was his break, Castiël leaned against the ally wall of the bar. Tonight was a busy night and the presence of Dean and Gabriel didn't help. He bonkend his head against the wall and breathed in the cool nightair.  
Gabriel's voice drifted to him on that same air and Castiël closed his eyes, trying to ignore it.  
"I'll see when that cutie is working again, so we can come here and you can flirt with him."  
Castiël blanched. _'Oh Hell no. Shut up Gabriel! Stay out of my lovelive!'_ he thought desperately, shrinking into the shadows so he wouldn't be seen.  
"That'd be nice. I never looked twice at another guy in nearly a decade..." Dean's voice rumbled and Castiël wanted the Earth to open up and swallow him.

Gabriel's giggles cut through the night, forcing Castiël's eyes open.  
"Yeah you have! Don't deny it! You look at Castiël's ass every time he walks by you."  
Groaning internally, Castiël looked up at the cold stars, wishing he could disappear.  
"Yeah That's true... but geez, that ass is just... wow!" came Dean's reply, making Castiël's heart stutter.  
 _'Damnit, Gabriel Eric Novak! You're sooo getting your ass whooped by me!'_  
It was all Gabriel's fault, for meeting Dean here, today. He knew Castiël was working, damn him.  
"God, Gabe... I'm running wild now... I just realised I have oggled the bartender all night, without shame. I'm bad!" Dean sounded astonished.  
That was it. Not caring whether either man heard him, Castiël ran back inside.


	8. Chapter 8

Having avoided Gabriel's questions about his bar shifts, Castiël was pretty certain he would never see Dean again.  
It tore at his heart, but he was sure Dean would never want him. He was just an oddball accountant, who secretly loved metal and had offset social skills.  
Imagine his shock when he walked through the reception and saw an achingly familiar head of spiky, sand coloured hair.  
Heart thumping in his throat, Castiël walked by slowly.  
Dean sat with a darkhaired guy in an immaculate suit.

"So, Cole, almost done interning at Sammy's firm huh?" Dean said, seemingly casual, but Castiël could hear the strain in his voice.  
"Yeah. Not sure I'm gonna go into lawyering imediately, though. Might wanna take a tour or two, you know. Learn the discipline."  
Dean nodded, but his hands clenched together.  
"Yeah. You know... Not saying you shouldn't, but ya' know... if the firm gives you a shot, might be worth taking it. Get the experience lawyering. Interns are the lakeys, but that's almost done now. Should get better."  
Castiël turned a corner and pressed a hand to his beating heart.  
Dean was still looking out for everyone. He hadn't changed at all.

Half an hour later Dean and Cole were still there.  
Castiël was curious what was going on, so he walked by again.  
"Dean, relax. Lisa will be out soon. Meetings can take a long time."  
Frowning, Castiël looked over his shoulder.  
He had seen Lisa at her desk, doing her nails and talking to Becky.  
Aware that Gabriel knew most of the going on within Nomed, Castiël took a detour and popped in at Gabriel's office.

"Hey there, baby bro! What's going on?" called Gabriel with a broad smile.  
Heaving a big sigh, Castiël sat down.  
"You know if Lisa happens to have a meeting? Only she has people waiting for her, and they have been here over 30 minutes."  
Gabriel raised both his eyebrows.  
"Really? Hmmm. Not very polite, huh. You get your pretty ass back to work, Cassie. I'll see what's up."  
When Castiël left, Gabriel's fingers were dancing over his laptop.

Casting a cautious eye to the reception area, Castiël saw Dean and Cole still there, and still no sign of a cup of coffee. That was very rude indeed. Determined, Castiël made another detour.  
Not five minutes later, he got two piping hot cups of coffee. One with a spoon, cream and sugar on the saucer, and one without.  
He'd heard Lisa complain about Dean drinking his coffee black. She said it made his kisses bitter. As if that should matter.  
When he walked up to Dean and Cole, he heard Cole sigh and say how he would leave if getting this signature wasn't so important for Dean to move on.

Silently, Castiël put the coffee next to Cole on the magazine table.  
Dean's leg was bouncing and he fidgeted with his silver ring.  
"Geez... I haven't been this nervous since highschool, when the principal tried to get a hold of Dad because I threw a stinkbomb though the window..." he said, trying for levity.  
Castiël couldn't resist. He gently put his hand on Dean's shoulder and passed the coffee over the other. All silent, because his throat was screwed tight with nerves.

Quickly he turned and walked off.  
Vaguely he heard Cole's comment about how nice a secretary he was.  
Castiël tensed at that, wondering what Dean would think.  
"Castiël isn't a secretary. He works in accounting. He's smart and, apparently, very nice." he heard that gruff voice say.  
His cheeks burning and his heart singing, Castiël went back to work.

The slam of his door made him look up and see thunder brewing on his brothers face.  
"That bitch, Cassie! She had them there for nearly the full hour! I checked the tapes when they entered. If her car hadn't switched on the lo-jack, she'd have left them there even longer, maybe until they'd left."  
Castiël sighed sadly. That was more than rude, that was inexcusable.  
"But I'm proud of you, Cassie. You brought hem coffee. She'd told Marley to not give them anything, in the hope they would leave! Seriously screwed up! Dean just wants a signature to free him of the house and such..."

His tirade petered out and his face grew pensieve.  
Worried, Castiël waved his hand in front of Gabriel's face.  
"Gabriel? Are you allright? You look... calculating... What are you thinking?"  
Gabriel's eyes focussed again and he smirked.  
"How I can get you to wear skin tight jeans and shirts, brother..."  
Rolling his eyes, Castiël excused himself and got back to work.


	9. Chapter 9

If Castiël had hoped to seen the last of his brother that day, he was mistaken.  
"Cassie! Tell me I'm a great big brother!"  
Looking up from his work, Castiël sighed.  
"Why would I, Gabriel? You're conniving and manipulative. Not very 'great' to me."  
Gabriel pouted, fishing a chocolate bar from his pocket.  
"Aw. That hurt, baby bro. And I found someone who wants to check out the house."

Castiël looked away, biting down his first retort, which was pretty nasty.  
"I'm not selling, Gabriel. I need a housemate, not a new home."  
Quickly munching away the big bite of chocolate, Gabriel hummed.  
"That's the beauty of it, Cassie. Neither do they! Their finances are a bit... stuck right now, and they need a place to stay." he babbled, once the chocolate was gone.  
Castiël narrowed his eyes at the enthousiastic tone.

A thought struck Castiël, making him squirm internally.  
"And it better be a man, not a woman. I don't need the drama. Unless it's Charlie. Or someone exactly like her." he stated clearly.  
Gabriel snorted in laughter.  
"There is **no-one** like Charlie Bradbury. Not even in a super-geek club."  
Thinking of one of his few friends, Castiël had to agree. Charlie was one of a kind.  
"She has that unique spark, That's true. But anyway... a man, Gabriel."

Gabriel raised his hands in a gesture of surrender.  
"I know, Cassie, I know. Definitely a dude, promise. So. Can I get a date to show him around?"  
With a put-upon air, Castiël grabbed his planner. But he was secretly glad. He might be able to cut back on his hours, if this man was suitable.  
"For such a short man, you are quite the Alpha, aren't you?" he groused at Gabriel.  
Gabriel just grinned around another bite of chocolate.

Gabriel left with an appointment for the following Tuesday, and Castiël turned to his screen with a sigh. Maybe now he could get his work done.  
His door burst open again and without looking up, Castiël groaned.  
"Now what, Gabriel?"  
A highpitched giggle caught him off guard, so he looked at his visitor.  
"I'm not your brother, dreamboat, although... would it be ok to hug you then?"

Castiël stiffened.  
"Becky... no. Gabriel and I are non-huggers. He teases me, I roll my eyes."  
Becky sighed happily.  
"And such beautiful eyes they are... anyway... Did you hear? So. Rude!"  
Deadpanning, Castiël watched her. Becky wasn't cute and perky. She was nosy, gosspiy and perky took one look at her and bolted. Unfortunately, she was also near impossible to shut up or get to leave.

"Now what did Kevin do, Becky?" Castiël intoned flatly.  
Becky giggled, flapping her hands.  
"Nonono... it was Dean... you know, Lisa's ex, who knocked her up and then left, out of the blue?"  
Bristling, Castiël started to correct her.  
"I'm certain that is not..." he tried, but Becky steamrollerd over him.  
"Anyway... he just walks in here, demands to see her and then threatens to kick her out of her house! Her and his baby!"

Slamming his hand flat on the desk finally shut her up with a yelp.  
Settling down, Castiël took a deep breath. He mustn't show how it affected him.  
"Becky, I am pretty sure that there is a whole other story. I am not sure why Dean left Lisa, but it might have to do with her being unfaithful. Secondly, I know for a fact that while she was gossipping with you, she also left Dean, and his representative waiting for nearly an hour. Furthermore... why on the great, green Earth are you in my office, telling me all these lies?"

Becky blinked her large eyes at him and fidgeted with her fingers.  
"Because I had to tell **someone**... and I know you won't repeat it. Lisa wanted to keep this a secret."  
Castiël pulled his 'I-don't-believe-you-said-that' face at her, but she was oblivious as always.  
If Lisa had wanted it to stay a secret, she'd have told Bela or Lilith, not Becky.  
"Becky... you're sweet..." he started, but as Becky started imitating a squirrel, meaning she was internally squeeing, he sighed.  
"But you really should check your stories before telling anyone. If Lisa is indeed being asked to leave the house, she should have at least 30 days. So no 'kicking out'. Probably trying to end the relationship. Which, with the way she was behaving, was way overdue."

Biting her lip, Becky took in what Castiël was saying, then sighed.  
"Are you sure that's why he ended it?" she wavered.  
Castiël blinked at her.  
"Becky, Gabriel knows of at least four of our co-workers she has bedded. And did you **not** hear the song Dean sang at the party? It was all about infidelity."

At the mentioning of the four co-workers, Becky sat up.  
"FOUR?! Are you sure? Oh my God!"  
Tiring of her, Castiël rolled his eyes.  
"Pretty sure, yes. Go ask Gabriel if you want details. I don't want anything to do with this."  
Becky squeaked and jumped to the door.  
Castiël rubbed his brow with two fingers and his thumb, because a headache was starting to throb there.  
He still had two more hours before he could go home, grab a scotch and drown that pounding out.


	10. Chapter 10

"Working late, Castiël?"  
The raspy voice with the British accent cut through Castiël's inner cussing.  
"Sadly, yes, mr. Crowley. My computer froze halfway through the day and it has set me back a couple of hours. I know you needed those figures tomorrow morning. I'm almost done."  
Crowley nodded his head slowly, pensively.  
"Well... no need to work that perky little ass off. If you promise I can have them by, say tenish...you can go home." he said.

Castiël narrowed his eyes at the Brit.  
"You're being nice to me... What's the catch?" he voiced his suspicions.  
Throwing his hands up, Crowley turned his head.  
"Seriously, feathers? I just want to go home, kick my feet up and enjoy my Craigh."  
Crowley's reference to his tattoos made Castiël more suspicious.  
Crowley was the only one within Nomed to know off them, because he'd been to the bar, and after recognising his accountant he had demanded to be shown the ink. Castiël had rolled up his sleeve, stating that was all he would ever show the gnome.

"I'm sorry. You usually have an ulterior motive. I can have your figures done by nine."  
Crowley smirked and pretended to salute him with a glass.  
"Wonderful. Now scoot. That pretty ass needs to rest on a sofa, not a desk chair."  
Castiël clenched his jaws.  
"You know that makes me uncomfortable, don't you?" he said to his manager.  
Crowley's smirk widened.  
"Yes I do, feathers. I just like yanking your chain. Makes me all tingly in me nethers. Night."  
Shuddering, Castiël watched the guy wander off.

A glance at his phone told him he should get going. Gabriel knew Castiël would be late, but if he hurried, Castiël might get home only minutes after him and the guy that was coming over to look at the house.  
He would need to get to know the man a bit, before agreeing to take him in.  
He gunned his Continental and soon parked her next to that ridiculously pink blemish Gabriel called a car.

He hurridly got inside, neatly packing away his shoes and trenchcoat. Just to lose the jacket, undo that damned tie and open up a few buttons... it was Heaven.  
He closed the closet, when he heard his older brother yell loudly.  
"Heya Cassie! Welcome home!"  
Castiël turned to reprimand him, but his throat stopped working.  
Next to Gabriel's bouncy form, he saw the one person he would always recognise, and could never rent to... Dean...  
Dean hissed something, but so low that he, Castiël, couldn't hear it. Gabriel beamed at Dean and Castiël was certain it was something about him.

Gathering up the shreds of his dignity, Castiël decided to play it cool for now.  
"Hello Dean, Gabriel. I trust you got my message." he said, noticing how Dean's cheeks reddened.  
Gabriel babbled about coffee, as Castiël got rid of his 'uniform' as he called it. He shrugged off his suit jacket, feeling as though a layer of his mask got shed.  
He noticed Dean's posture. Hands clasped to his back, he looked like a soldier on rollcall.  
Was he... nervous?  
To hide his own nerves, Castiël asked about their coffee.

Gabriel seemed to enjoy himself immensely and asked Dean about a phrase he'd used about his coffee.  
When he heard that gruff voice said the words: "I take my coffee black as my soul.", Castiël blushed, but kept calm.  
"That's debatable, but I like the saying." he managed. It was true.  
He knew Dean was a pure soul, someone who cared a lot about others, and he didn't like how the saying put Dean down, but he did like the sentiment behind it. Dean knew he was a bad boy at heart.

Castiël sipped his own, black, coffee and asked how far they had been on their tour. Turned out they didn't even get upstairs yet.  
When Dean mentioned the scullery, Castiël remarked on his collection, just to see how Dean would take it.  
"I gathered there were no real skulls there. Gabe neglected to tell me there were fake ones... I wonder why." Dean quipped sarcastically.  
Castiël knew exactly why and he shot Gabriel a deathglare, which caused Dean to burst out laughing.  
"I know he's a Trickster, Cas. Don't worry." he managed, drying his eyes.

Castiël's heart stuttered at the nickname and he raised his eyebrows.  
"Cas?" he blurted out, just as Gabriel did the same. Probably for a whole other set of reasons though.  
Castiël liked the nickname. It was less effeminate than the 'Cassie' Gabriel and Balthazar loved to use, and unique.  
For the first time in a long time, Castiël didn't mind his odd name.  
Trying to cover his happy blush, Castiël sipped his coffee.  
He caught Dean's apology, and Gabriel's head tilt, but he pretended to sip, until he was sure the blush was gone.  
This was going to be so awkward!  
He assured Dean he didn't mind the abbreviation, then proceded to hurry them along the tour of the house.

While Dean was admiring Castiël's bedroom, Castiël drew Gabriel to the side.  
"You conniving little imp! What are you **doing**?!" he hissed at his brother.  
Gabriel blinked faux innocently.  
"What? He needed space, you have space. Win-win... aw come on, Cassie. Let's try this, huh? If it doesn't work out, kick my ass."  
That was the problem for Castiël. What is this **did** work out? What if, like in those awfull movies Gabriel watched, they would fall for eachother? Castiël didn't dare dream that big.

Meanwhile, Dean looked like he loved Castiël's room.  
Castiël was trying to not imagine Dean in his bed, kiss swollen lips, messy hair...  
 _'Darn! Don't do that, Novak!'_ he snapped at himself mentally.  
Hurridly, Castiël stepped closer, hoping his blush didn't show.  
"This is my room. You are more than welcome to use my bathroom, if your bath is broken, or you're using it to soak laundry or something along those lines."  
Dean looked a bit embarrased by that, but he followed to the next room.

Castiël always liked this room. The green was just so complementary to his blue room.  
He opened the door and his imagination ran wild again.  
Dean, lying on the bed, sleeping. Would he wear pyjamas or maybe a shirt? Or would he lie there in just his boxers... broad chest naked... crap! His mind was on a roll today!  
On autopilot, Castiël finished the tour, trying to keep his mind clear of those enticing thoughts.  
Dean parked his perfect ass on the sofa, and Castiël's darned imagination pictured him there, lying down, reading a book, or playing some game on his phone... or looking up at Cas with those big, green eyes darkened, cheeks flushed, oh crap... He **definitely** needed to reign in his thoughts!

Dean's voice cut through the haze in Castiël's mind. It seemed Gabriel had asked him a question.  
"You know damn well what I think, you sly fox. What's my rent gonna be?"  
Cheeks burning, because that voice... (Cas had just imagened it moaning his name.), Castiël answered the question. He needed that amount at least, to get by.  
On one hand, Castiël hoped Dean would decline, on the other... if he would live here... **here** in **his** house... maybe Castiël could make this all... work, somehow.  
He wasn't prepared for that devastatingly beautiful grin and the firm answer.  
"Is that all? Hell, draw up the papers, buddy! I'm moving in!"  
Castiël gulped, wishing he'd known this would happen.


	11. Chapter 11

Nerves coursed through Castiël's body. He checked the clock on the wall again. Only a quarter of an hour, until he got off. He wanted to go home so bad.  
Today, Dean was moving in.  
Gabriel had taken a day off, ostentatiously to 'catch up on his personal administration' but Castiël was willing to bet he would find his brother helping out Dean.  
When the clock hit six thirty, Castiël clicked off the stylised tulip desklight his oma had given him, and all but ran to his car.

When he entered the house, he could hear voices coming from the dining part of the livingroom, and his nose picked up something delicious.  
Had they ordered dinner already?  
He heard Gabriel shout out to him.  
"Hey baby bro! Right on time! Come on in. Dinner is served!"  
Cas saw the table, set for dinner, and, obviously homemade, burgers and a salad made the picture fit for a cooking magazine.  
His cheeks lit up and he felt a little overwhelmed.

He kept his eyes glued to the table, because he didn't want to look at Dean with Gabriel and another man right there. He commented about usually not using the table, when his mind caught up. There was a third guy there! He glanced up, and up...  
 _'Oh my word... he is taller than my cousin Addy, or Dean. Who is this? A friend of Dean or maybe... a lover?'_  
Forcing his unease down, he smiled.  
"Hello. We haven't met before, have we?"

The tall man's face lit up with a cute smile, all teeth and dimples, his eyes soft.  
"No. I'm Sam, Dean's brother. Pleased to meet you." he said in a warm voice, and took Castiël's hand.  
Cas saw Gabriel's eyes narrow infinitessimally, and a spark of something lit in them.  
"Yeah, yeah... pleasantries aside, guys... dinner!"  
The slightly jealous tone didn't escape Castiël, and he laughed. The others too, but probably for a whole other reason.

Dinner was delicious, and Castiël was reminded that his oma always said that they should cook real food. As much as he liked to, with Balthazar, he had gotten into the rut of just warming up some pre-prepared food. Balthazar didn't cook, and Cas had often been too tired to get behind the stove.  
The dessert Gabriel had made, surprised Castiël happily. It was sweet, and very fulfulling. The whole meal was amazing. Castiël felt he should at least thank them all.  
"Thank you, Dean, Sam, and even you, Gabriel. I never knew you can cook..." he said, resisting the urge to pop the button on his slacks, and lean back.  
The atmosphere was relaxed and what their oma would call 'gezellig' meaning the coziness, comfort and warmth of being together with friends or loved ones, sharing time in a pleasant and nice atmosphere.

They bantered about cooking and how Bobby, according to the info Gabriel had given Castiël, he was the Winchester's surrogate father, was a bit paranoid.  
"Yeah... I think your boss and our oma would get along just fine..." Gabriel quipped, making Castiël smirk.  
Thinking about their quirky, down to Earth and fiesty oma, he pretended to examine his fingernails.  
"Like a house on fire... all screams and heat." he smoothly interjected, making Gabriel laugh out loud and agree wholeheartedly.  
Dean looked at them through his lashes, his green eyes sparkling, and asked if oma was still alive. Thinking of the posibility that oma and Bobby would have met already, Castiël smiled.  
"Oma is still around. She lives nearby, so chances are they either know eachother, or know of eachother." he answered, to which Gabriel looked spooked.  
"Oh dear..." his brother whispered, making them all laugh.

Once their brothers had left, Castiël suddenly found himself alone on the sofa, with Dean, drinking one last beer, and nibbling on some beernuts.  
He politely inquired about Dean's move, hoping his elated mood didn't shine through too much. He was extatic that Dean was here, but didn't want to seem too enthousiastic.  
Dean answered him openly and frank.  
Castiël loved hearing that gruff voice so warm and relaxed.  
The blush that rose in Castiël's cheeks was part pleased, and part because his treacherous mind imagined that voice moaning out that sweet abbreviation of his name.  
Dean's answer to his statement that he didn't have to cook every time, made Castiël chuckle.  
Before his mind would take that innocent exchange and turn it around, Castiël excused himself and went upstairs, telling Dean 'goodnight.'  
The warm, gruff voice answered him with a "Good night, Cas." making Castiël's blood heat up.

Lying in his bed, Castiël tried to ignore the sound of Dean's footsteps coming up the stairs and the door to the green room opening and closing softly.  
He turned on his side roughly, trying to block the image of Dean in that bed, cheeks flushed in his sleep, plump lips parted and those long, long lashes lying on the freckled cheeks like downy little feathers.  
Something stirred in his nethers, and Castiël muffled a desperate moan in his pillow.  
Dean was his housemate now, definitely off limits!


	12. Chapter 12

Soft, pliant lips were beneath his own. Little gasps shook him to the core of his being. Hands were carding through his hair and green, lustblown eyes sought his.  
Castiël knew this was too good to be true, but for now, he revelled in every moan, every gasp of that abbreviation of his name.  
"Cas... Cas... Cas!"  
Someone was knocking, and the sense of warmth beneath him dissipated.  
More knocking.  
"Cas, C'mon bud! You need to get up! It's only Tuesday... you need to get to the office."  
Castiël groaned, pulling his pillow over his head.  
That was unmistakably Dean, knocking and calling out, which meant that it was another dream Castiël had.  
And it had yet again resulted in a very, very hard to ignore problem.

"Thank you, Dean. I'm awake. Be down shortly!" Castiël called, rubbing his eyes.  
He finally sat up, shifting his hips uncomfortably.  
"Damnit..." he muttered, frowning at his crotch. "How to deal with you... UGH. I'm not in the mood for this!"  
With a course, Dutch expletive, Castiël threw the covers off and got to his feet.  
He stomped off into his bathroom and turned on the shower, scowling at the jets as they streamed down without fogging up the room.  
With a loud gasp, he stepped under the shower and was back out in five, his hair soaked, and his skin dappled with goosebumps.  
He rubbed his eyes, barely noticing the dark bruise-like shadows under them.

When he got downstairs, Dean had already left for work, and Castiël sighed.  
He was relieved on one hand, on the other, he would have loved a little chat with Dean, just so he could face the day.  
Using the cheese slicer and the block of Gouda cheese oma gave him, Castiël quickly made a cheese sandwich.  
It was gone in under a minute.  
Checking his watch, Castiël decided to get his cafeine shot at work.  
"Godsamme..." he sighed, grouchiness making him fall back on his second language whilst pulling on his trenchcoat. "Ongelogen... die dromen maken me niet vrolijker."

Gabriel texted him while he was waiting at the last intersection.  
With a growl, Castiël slid his car onto the parkinglot and in the last free space there.  
"Cassie! You're late bucko!" Gabriel called out, opening the glass door like a hotel doorman.  
"Morning, Gabriel. I know. I overslept slightly."  
His brother shot him a Look.  
"Cassie, bro... you need to cut down the hours, bud. You're running yourself to the ground!"  
Sending his meddlesome brother a deathglare, Castiël swiftly moved past him.

"That is **not** the problem, Gabriel." he bit out, removing his coat on the go.  
Gabriel smirked and waggled his eyebrows, as he trotted along to keep up with Cas' long, irritated strides.  
"Then what, Cassie? Imagination keeping you awake with images of what dear old Dean-o might look like under all the flanel?"  
Castiël snarled at him and threw the door in his face.  
"Rude, Cassie!" Gabriel called through the wood.  
Castiël couldn't care less.

After six hours, Castiël was ready to call in sick. The only thing keeping him there, was the fact that if he went home, to bed, the dreams would start again.  
So far, he had been able to leave the house without Dean noticing the state he was frequently in lately.  
But one day, Dean would find out, and Castiël dreaded the moment.  
Dean would probably hate him for it and move out again.  
"Feathers... looking a bit frayed at the edges today..."  
Closing his eyes resignedly, Castiël turned towards his boss.  
"Just a bad night, Crowley. What do you need?"  
A completely insincere smile on his face, Crowley stuffed his hands in his pants pockets.  
"Just thought I'd pop over for a chat with my favorite accountant."

With one serious deadpan, Castiël looked up at him.  
"What do you want? You never 'just pop over' for anything."  
The insincere air vanished and the slick guy sauntered over.  
"Honestly, Feathers... I was noticing a decline in your health, and sick employees are very bad for business. I'm happy ms. Braeden isn't calling in sick every other morning because that bun in her oven is making her feel queasy."  
The reminder of Lisa's condition did nothing to improve Castiël's mood.  
"I'm fine, Crowley. There have been some changes in my life, and I am adjusting. Nothing to worry about."

Parking his buttcheek on the edge of Castiël's desk, Crowley narrowed his eyes.  
"Then I suggest you get your ducks in a row, as they say, and make sure it will not become something I should worry about."  
Not able to withold the glare building up inside, Castiël side-eyed his boss.  
Crowley chuckled and grinned.  
"There's the spunk I know and love from you, Feathers. Carry on..."  
He got to his feet again and turned to go, but stopped at the door.  
"Oh, by the by, Feathers... You're not fooling anybody." he said casually.  
Blood freezing, Castiël stared at him. What was he on about?  
"Even mr. Gold seems to have noticed you don't look too dandy. Go home. I won't dock you the hours. Get some rest." Crowley suggested and walked off.

Leaning back, Castiël ran his hands over his face and groaned.  
It seemed he had to go. Maybe he and Dean could spend some time together. It might not help the dreams, but it would help him relax a bit. With the hours at the bar, and his regular office job, Castiël had been working every day of the week for months now.  
Saving his work and logging off, he thought about sending Dean a text but decided against it.  
If Dean was still at work, he'd disturb him.  
Castiël tugged on his tan coat and left.

The porchlight was on, meaning Dean was home.  
With a light feeling in his chest, Castiël went inside and cleared away his shoes and coat.  
Dean was sitting on the sofa, legs stretched out on the seat.  
His green eyes were glued to the screen, where a doctor, wearing **cowboy boots** no less, was making out with some other character in scrubs.  
Castiël bit his lip. He knew this show. Gabriel watched it all the time. Castiël was not going to judge here.  
He folded his suitjacket over the back of a chair.

A commercial break came on, and Dean stretched, then flushed red when he noticed Castiël standing there.  
"Cas! Hi... I ehm..." he stuttered, trying to not look guilty. It was adorable.  
Castiël just smiled softly and pushed Dean's legs off the seat, so he could sit too.  
"Hello, Dean. So... why is dr. Sexy making out with that intern? Did something happen between him and dr. Piccolo?"  
Dean worked his mouth, but nothing came out.  
Tilting his head at Dean, Castiël blinked a few times.  
"You know the show?" Dean finally asked.

Shrugging, Castiël popped a few buttons of his shirt and loosened the tie.  
"A bit. Gabriel used to watch it all the time. I haven't been keeping up since I moved here." he admitted, which got Dean to use the whole commercial break to bring Castiël up to speed.  
They watched in silence until the next break, when Dean caught Castiël's blue eyes with his green.  
"Sooo... you don't mind if I watch this?" he queried carefully.  
Castiël looked back wondering why Dean would ask that.  
"Only... I really missed it. Li... she would scoff and make nasty comments about a grown man watching a show like this..."

Lisa... anger burned in his veins. She had constantly made Dean question his masculinity, and then, if he did something manly, burned him about that, calling him misogynistic.  
"It is a compelling show, Dean. I don't really follow it, but I do see it's appeal."  
Which was two-thirds made up by the doctor with the long hair, scruff and cowboy boots, Castiël had to agree silently.  
With a happy smile, Dean turned back to the screen.  
Castiël smiled too, glad he could in some small way undo the damage Lisa had done with Dean. She had tried to make him into another person, which was right against what Dean himself had taught Castiël.

 **Notes:**

 **Dutch to English translation:**

 **Godsamme... - Goddangit (litterally more an unfinished sentence the Dutch often use. It meant that God will do something to you, but it doesn't say what.)**

 **Ongelogen... die dromen maken me niet vrolijker. - No lies.. these dreams do nothing to make me more cheerful. (Another Dutch Idiom. It means you're grouchy, about being grouchy, and blame it on some situation.)**


	13. Chapter 13

Cracking his neck, Castiël groaned.  
It was Saturday, and he had an early shift.  
Since it was still pretty cold outside, people tended to stay indoors and the day was heading off to a slow start.  
He turned to the dark skinned, older man that had come in.  
"Good afternoon, mr. Turner. You're out and about early today." he greeted.  
The older guy huffed and waved a hand at him.  
"Yeah, yeah. And on a shabbat too." the guy groused.

Castiël leaned on the counter with his arms folded.  
"Then shouldn't you be abstaining from being here, mr. Turner?"  
The weatered skin creased around the corners of the man's mouth and he chuckled low.  
"Call me Rufus, boy. And technically... Yeah, I should, but I need a drink. Being the DA tends to get me outta bed on the most awful hours, and now my car is falling apart on me too. So, can I get a Johnny Walker Blue?"

Castiël shook his head with a smile and grabbed the requested drink.  
"So, Rufus, why don't you get her fixed?" he said, cleaning the bar.  
Rufus eyed his drink, then took a sip.  
"The shop I always went to, closed. And I don't trust many people."  
Silently agreeing within, Castiël walked back up to him.  
"Do you trust me, Rufus?" he dared to ask.  
A calculated stare took him in from head to waist.

"I guess... don't know your name, but I know you never water down my booze."  
Castiël chuckled and inclined his head in acceptance of the veiled compliment.  
"Thank you. I am Cas... Cas. I know of a place, Singer salvage...it does repairs too. It's on Sundowner, just outside the citylimits."  
Rufus sat up, eyes crinkling at the corners.  
"Singer? As in Bobby Singer?"

Castiël nodded.  
"You know him?" he asked, slightly surprised.  
Rufus scoffed, grinning by now.  
"Yeah.. I know him. Crazy old coot. So, Cas... you'd trust them with your car?"  
Happy to help, Castiël nodded.  
"Yes, sir! One of the mechanics is my housemate, and his car is pristine, even if she is almost 40."  
He pulled out his phone and scrolled until he found a picture of Dean with his Baby. He'd taken it last summer when Dean was waiting for Lisa, because Baby was just such a beautiful car.

Rufus narrowed his eyes at the phone, then pulled back with widened eyes.  
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that's old John Winchester's car!" he exclaimed, trying to catch the licenceplate.  
That piqued Castiël's interest and he looked at the picture himself.  
"Really... did John have any kids?" he asked casually, but Rufus wasn't fooled.  
"Yeah he did... it is is car, isn't it? Licence plate KAZ 2Y5?"  
Castiël eyed the man carefully.  
"You tell me, I tell you, deal?"

Ruffus nodded appreciatively.  
"Ok, Cas. You got me. John has two boys. Samuel and... Dan? Denny?"  
Castiël's heart thumped.  
"Dean? Sam and Dean? Are you sure, Rufus?"  
Rufus slapped the counter and a grin slid on his face.  
"That's it! Sam and Dean! Boy... the times I had to have a talk with old John..."  
Rufus took another sip, draining his glass. Castiël tipped it up again at his signal.  
"Guy was a drifter, you know. He'd come into town every now and then, those boys in tow. Some times he'd drop them at old Singer's place, and leave. Other times he'd stay there too. Never long enough for the kids to really settle. I had Dean in my sights though... that kid looked like he'd go through any lengths for his brother, even if that meant breaking the law."  
Another sip of JW down the hatch, and Rufus was nodding to himself.

"Yeah... I felt sorry for those two. Dad was a bit of a drunk at times. Don't know if he was abbusive... Never found a mark on the kids, but they were kinda squirrely around him. Get them alone, and they were cocky as heck, but with John around... it was like he was their sergeant. He'd be barking orders, and the kids hopped to it. Sam a little less eager than his brother, but still. I wonder what happened to them..."  
Castiël smiled. For all the grumpiness and grousing, mr. Rufus Turner had a golden heart.  
"Well, the guy leaning against the car is Dean. He is my housemate. He works at Bobby's and his brother, Sam... he is a lawyer, downtown. I am unsure as to what happened to their Father though."

Rufus looked up from his drink.  
"Really now? I am glad to hear it. So Dean is a good mechanic, I take it?"  
Castiël nodded eagerly.  
"Then I'm gonna get my ancient butt to that place, and see if he can rescue my old clunker. Thanks, Cas."  
His phone beeped and he pulled it out with a resigned sigh.  
"I gotta go." He slapped four twenty dollar bills on the bar and hoisted himself to his feet.  
"Keep the change, Cas. For... rendered services."

While he dropped the twenty dollar change into the tipjar, Castiël heard his phone bing with an email notification. Looking around to see if anybody was around, he took it out to check.  
When he saw it was from Human Resources at Nomed, he swallowed.  
What would they want? Was he in trouble?  
With trepidition, he tapped the mail.

'Dear mr. Novak,

It has come to our attention that you have gathered up quite a bit of due vacation.  
It has accumulated to over a month worth of payed vacation.  
Therefore we request that, if you do not have any pressing reasons to come over, you take up some of that time as soon as possible.  
Our suggestion is that you keep some of the time in reserve for emergencies and such.  
Hence we recommend that you take three weeks out of the five and a half you have, as per Monday next.  
Your pay will remain the same, overtime not included.

Sincerely,

Becky Rosen, Human resources'

Relief flooded him as he read the mail a second time.  
He wasn't in trouble. If he wasn't mistaken, he had just been ordered to take three weeks paid time off!


	14. Chapter 14

In high spirits, and still a bit dazed, Castiël hung up his coat.  
"Dean... you will never believe what happened today..." he started, but when he turned, he saw an elaborate steak dinner being served. Gabriel was there too, and he looked like a toddler who had found the Nutella Jar. Chocolate covered his bulging cheeks and sticky, darkbrown crumbs hung from his chin.  
"What's going on?" Castiël demanded, suspicion colouring his voice.  
Dean just threw him one of those warm, beautiful smiles, but Gabriel tried.  
"Moffin' broffer..." he said, spraying chocolate crumbs and making Castiël cringe.

Dean just wiped the mess away, like he would if Gabriel was indeed a toddler, answering that he'd just been in the mood for steak and that Gabriel had earned his 'Death by chocolate' by helping Dean out with something.  
To Castiël, it was just the icing on the cake, making the day even better, and he told them so.  
Dean handed him a cold beer, and asked him what he meant.

"I was only just working. I'm sure I had helped all of three customers, when I received an email from Nomed. It seems I am due some vacation. Paid vacation. As of Monday, I have three weeks off from the office!"  
Dean beamed and Gabriel grinned a chocolaty smile.  
"That's great, Cas!" Dean smiled at him and that warm feeling Castiël always got when Dean was being sincerely happy, filled him like a balloon.  
Gabriel seemed to think along the same ways, but he just had to, didn't he?

The little imp shot a meaningful glance at Dean.  
"You could use it, baby bro! You've been working that tight little ass off for months now. Live a little. Chase a dream or two... get laid..." he all but yelled, making Dean almost choke.  
That little... Castiël could feel his cheeks burn hot and he slammed his fork and knife down on his plate.  
"Gabriel! Not all of us live for sex and sweets. When will you learn?" he barked out, trying his hardest to not look at Dean, who was wiping his lips clean of the spilled beer.

Gabriel noticed how he was struggling and he put the last bite of his cake in his mouth, teasingly slow. He was almost taunting Castiël to say more, but Castiël held out.  
"Really, bro? You're in denial, bucko. But I'll butt out." Gabriel finally said, only to use his oral fixation to show Castiël how he should be with Dean. It was game Gabriel loved playing.  
Castiël forced himself to not blush, and to keep his eyes on his brother, instead of letting them wander off to where Dean's lips were pink and plump from the rubbing.  
Gabriel was all but triumphant in his exit and Castiël had to keep his eyes on the door, instead of Dean, otherwise he would trip up and kiss the man.

"Dean... have you ever considered the posibility that you're adopted? I must be... or he was." Castiël mused, trying to find an explaination for the way Gabriel always managed to push every button Castiël had.  
Dean joked about how he thought that any time he saw Sam. But the Winchesters were so close!  
"Just kidding!" Dean quickly said after seeing the horror on Castiël's face.  
"I've taken care of Sammy since he was six months old. But even as close as we are, sometimes it's like he's a stranger. That's supposed to happen, I think. To keep us on our toes..."  
Now that was some unexpected information!  
Combined with what Rufus had confided in him today, Castiël was getting a whole new picture of who Dean was.


	15. Chapter 15

**As FFN does not allow too explicit contents, I censored this chapter. On AO3, I do have it up fully.**

Before running himself a wonderful, hot shower, Castiël knocked on Dean's door.  
"Dean, don't worry about dinner tonight. Seeing I have the day off, I will provide you with proper, Dutch lazy food."  
A groan sounded from behind the door (incidentally causing Castiël's gut to tighten deliciously), then Dean's sleep rough voice came.  
"Allright. Thanks bud! I'm gonna take a swift shower, then run off to Bobby's. I have an old Ford F350 that needs a new crankshaft. Not the easiest of fixes, so I want to get at it asap."  
Swallowing hard, to not have his voice betray how Dean's had affected him, Castiël answered that he understood and that Dean should eat something before leaving.

After his shower, Castiël sauntered to the vanity buck naked. Something shiny caught his eye, and he grinned. It was his day off, and nobody would tell him a responsible accountant wouldn't dress like a highschool metalhead.

Slipping in two of his simplest silver earrings, made Castiël morph into the guy he wished Dean would have met, and maybe even loved.  
Hell, the man already called him Cas. That could be his metalhead name now. It was an easy step.  
He shoved all his shirts aside and dug deeper in his closet.  
No jeans today... he wasn't planning on leaving the house. So, a pair of faded, black sweatpants, and an old AC/DC shirt, without the sleeves.  
Cas decided to forgo the rest of his attire, the leather and silver bracelets, the studded collar, and the black eyeliner. Maybe later...

He spent most of the day cleaning, setting things in order, and then lounging on the sofa with a book.  
He was just wondering if he should get ready to make dinner, when his phone told him he had a text.

Received 5.25 Dean:  
Cas, I'm sorry.  
I know we would eat what you called 'proper Dutch lazy food', but things have gone ape around here, and I still have to install that crankshaft properly.  
I'm going to be pretty late tonight.  
Again sorry.  
Dean.

Worried, Cas replied, asking if Dean was ok.  
He didn't need a lot of preparing time for dinner, so that wasn't a problem.  
To keep his mind occupied, he started a Pantera CD and sank back with his book.  
The album had started again, when Dean replied.  
Raising an eyebrow at the sentence 'And Lucifer sprained his ankle BAD by not watching his step.' Cas decided to ask Dean about that later.  
For now, he needed to make his batter and start baking.  
He programmed the CD player to play his favorite songs and grabbed the flour, eggs, milk, sugar and vanilla.

Pad of butter molten in the skillet, Cas poured in another ladle of batter, singing along with 'Medicine Man'.  
He tapped his bare foot to the floor, thouroughly enjoying cooking.  
He really should thank Dean for reminding him how fun making a real dinner was, even if one as simple as Dutch pancakes, or 'pannenkoeken'.  
He slipped from his normal, deep voice to his falsetto, to follow Phil Anselmo's singing. Then he let it slip back. He enjoyed singing along to his music.  
Dean would be so proud of him.  
A slight cough told him Dean was **right there.**  
He turned around smiling, and muted the CD.

"Hello, Dean."  
Dean looked like a fish out of water. His mouth worked, but nothing came out.  
Those forrest green eyes flicked over Cas top to bottom, then zoned in on his ear.  
Still he didn't speak, and Cas was starting to fear he'd broken Dean.  
"Dean? Are you sure you are allright?" Cas asked, hoping he'd get through.  
Dean blinked, coughed and blushed slightly.  
"Yeah... yeah, 'm fine... so... Pantera? Seriously?" he managed, licking his lips.  
If it wasn't for the pannenkoek, demanding his attention, Cas would have kept watching Dean.  
Instead he turned around with a grin, and flipped it expertly.

He confessed to secretly liking metal, which had Dean comment that it wasn't that secret. His tattoos would show under his bar shirt. Of course Cas knew that. It just surprised him Dean had noticed them. He explained how he was more free at the bar, because his job at Nomed just wasn't that accepting.  
It seemed that satisfied Dean's curiousity, because his attention shifted towards the skillet, and what was browning nicely in it.  
His question whether they were crêpes made Cas smile.  
"No. Too thick. These are Dutch pancakes. Bigger and thinner, and after a few plain ones, I get creative." he answered.  
He could hear the click of Dean's swallow behind him.  
Dean's voice was slightly rough, as if his throat was dry, when he croaked out: "Cr..creative... how?"

"I add bacon or apple slices or this..."  
He held up the block of cheese.  
"Oma gets lots of this from her relatives back in the Netherlands. It's Goudse kaas. Wait until you taste it... Oh! Could you text Gabriel? One line should do it. Just tell him 'pannenkoeken'."  
The snort Dean gave had Cas roll his eyes. 10 to 1 he'd say something like...  
"Man, I don't even know how to write that!"  
And there it was...

Cas sighed, and wrote the word down.  
Really, if it was another language, people were so rude at times.  
His spekpannenkoek was ready to be flipped, so he did. Then he started slicing the cheese with the cheese slicer oma had given him when he'd moved out.  
Feeling Dean's eyes burning a hole in his skull, Cas determinedly kept going, waiting for the next question.  
"What is that thing?" Dean asked, wonder in his voice evident.  
Chuckling, Cas let the thing twirl in his hand and explained how it was a standard Dutch implement and how he got to have it.

Just as he plated his first spekpannenkoek, Dean showed him Gabriel's answer. It was predictably exited and over the top. It brought a smirk to Cas' face and he asked Dean to set the table. Gabriel would be there around the time Cas would be done with bacon and apple, so it would be prudent to have the table set.  
The sounds of plates and silverware being put on the table made a homely background noise.  
Dean rummaged around the pantry and called out at him.  
"This what you want, Cas?" Dean called, holding up a bottle.  
It was exactly what he had told Dean to get, so he replied eagerly.  
A blush made its way right to Dean's ears and Cas felt the undeniable urge to grab the man and kiss him until they'd both need oxygen.


	16. Chapter 16

Just as Cas was losing the battle against his urges, the scullery door banged open, and Gabriel waltzed in, red in his face and out of breath. Because the little imp had ran the last feet to the door as usual.  
His unusual, golden eyes darted from Cas, to the table to Dean. Then he punched the air  
"Yes! Cassie, you're the best little brother! Did you make me apple?" he exclaimed cheerfully.  
Chuckling, Cas signaled him to take off his boots and jacket.  
"Of course, zoetekauw." he said affectionately.  
Gabriel was buzzing with anticipation and his whole demeanor was charged with an electrical energy.

The house got even more lively with him in it.  
On the other side, he was trying to have around for longer periods.  
Cas loved his brother, but he loved it when he left too.  
He ordered Dean to sit down because the last pannenkoeken would be with molten cheese on top, and he would serve them instantly.  
Dishing out the last three pannenkoeken, Cas sat down too.

Feeling Dean study him on how to eat the big, floppy things, Cas forced his blush down.  
He only succeeded until Dean had his first bite.  
The moan that escaped those full lips shot right through him and stirred things up, making his cheeks burn faster than a lit match to gasoline.  
It took Cas a while to register the compliment Dean had made to him, and his oma.  
"I will convey your feelings. She asked me to come over for coffee Wednesday."  
Gabriel stopped eating, one cheek full of pannenkoek. Quickly he swallowed, making Cas wince in sympathy.  
"For realsies? AWESOME! Ohooo Dean-o! If you think these babies are good, you just wait until you eat her applepie!"

Cas nearly bit through his lip when he glanced at his housemate.  
Dean reminded him of a squirrel. Both cheeks bulging with food, green eyes big and excited. He made short work of his full mouth by chewing and swallowing furiously.  
"Is it that much different from anything we buy?" he asked with a hint of doubt.  
Both Cas and Gabriel snorted in barely contained laughter.  
Since oma made pies from scratch, it would be so different, and so, so much better!

An hour later found the three of them charshed on the sofa, bellies full to the point where they each had a little bulge where their stomach was.  
"Ohhhhhh maaaannn." Dean groaned. "I ate too much. And that's not something I often say."  
Cas tried to not fall asleep, and desperately to not blush at the groan.  
Dean started talking again and jerked Cas more awake.  
"I gotta say, bud, that was one way I never saw molasses used." he said, smile audible.  
That must have been directed at Gabriel, who had slathered his plain pannenkoeken with the sweet, sticky goo.

Gabriel didn't answer Dean, but instead whined at Cas.  
"Cassie, can I crash? I'm too full to get up, let alone drive..."  
Cas merely opened one eye.  
As he had suspected, Gabriel was giving him the kicked puppy look. It never failed, did it? Any time Cas, or oma, made pannenkoeken, Gabriel would eat too much, and sleep over because he was nearing a foodcoma. Fine. It wasn't as if Cas hadn't taken that into consideration when inviting him over.  
Cas closed his eye again, settling back more.  
"Burgundy room this time, Gabriel. Remember that."

After that, Cas zoned out, ignoring the room at large and concentrating on not falling asleep and not fantasising about Dean.  
After a bit, Gabriel trudged upstairs, and Dean patted Cas on the shoulder.  
"Thanks for dinner Cas. Now I can move again, I will go up, before I fall asleep next to you on the couch."  
Deadpanning and determinedly fighting his blush once again, Cas just hummed and nodded.  
If he cracked open an eye to watch Dean's butt as he was going, that was his problem.

 **Notes:**

 **Dutch - English translation:  
Zoetekauw - someone who has a sweettooth.**


	17. Chapter 17

The sound of a running shower permeated the warm, fuzzy haze of sleep, and Cas pried his eyes open. Right. His big brother was staying over, since he'd gorged himself on dinner last night.  
Stretching and yawning, Cas decided to remind Gabriel he still had to go home and change before going to Nomed.  
The shower stopped, and Cas swung his legs out of bed, pulled on his sweats and a fresh shirt, and made his way to the burgundy room, daydreaming about how he would spend his second day off.

When he nearly collided with someone he looked up, and gasped.  
Dean was wearing nothing but a towel, wrapped around his hips, and a pensive expression. His hair was damp, and his chest very, very naked.  
 _'Oh my word... wow... he's perfect.'_  
A dark patch right above Dean's heart caught his eye.  
 _'A tattoo... so he likes tattoos... he wouldn't mind my wings... but would he still like them if he knew why I got them?'_  
Cas realised he was gaping at his housemate.  
"D.. Dean. Good morning." Damnit! Now he was stuttering, and he **knew** his cheeks had turned pink.

Dean's freckles stood out slightly, telling Cas that his cheeks were flushed too, but that could be from his shower.  
"Morning, Cas. Gabe wanted to bathe, so I used his shower. Only I forgot my clothes."  
Knowing it had been **Dean** he heard under the shower, made Cas' mind go places it was forbidden to go to.  
Cas shook his head slightly to dispel those thoughts.  
To change the subject, he commented on Dean's body art.  
That brought another, bright smile on Dean's face, and he started explaining how Sam, one night, when drunk and after watching 'the Excorsist' had decided they needed protection against posession. It was a fun story, but it did little to distract Cas from how Dean's muscles played under his skin when he gesticulated with one hand during his story, or how his freckles dotted his shoulders too.

"... But I never regretted it. It's like a symbol of our bond." Dean said, a fond look in his eyes.  
Cas knew he was still blushing, and his eyes were hungrily feasting on the miles of tanned, freckled skin. He rubbed his hands over his upper arms, otherwise he would touch those broad shoulders or muscled pects.  
To distract himself, Cas let his mouth run off with him.  
"I can understand that. Mine are a symbol too."  
He saw those green eyes flick to where his fingers were still running up and down his arms.  
"Yeah? Of what?" Dean rasped out, sounding like his throat was a little dry.

Cas decided that showing his wings wasn't as bad as trying to keep his eyes and hands off of that enticing chest.  
So he whipped off his shirt, turned and for the first time ever showed his wings to the person he got them for. An exited buzz ran through him as he answered Dean.  
"Of freedom, Dean."  
Not quite ready to come clean about the details, he added: "I will tell you the whole story another time. I think you should get going, or you will be late. I was about to wake Gabriel up, but now I don't need to."  
Oh God, he was rambling!

He knew it was a cowardly thing to do, but he **had** to get away from his half-naked housemate.  
He put his shirt over his head and turned around.  
Seeing Dean glance at his chest, Cas swallowed, quickly tugging his shirt down.  
"Y..Yeah. I'll make sure Gabe comes down." Dean mumbled, still blushing slightly.  
To cover his own confused feelings, Cas beamed at him and told Dean he would make breakfast.  
Not waiting for an answer, he turned an fled down the stairs, internally cursing his luck.  
Now he had an accurate picture of Dean's chest to fit his fantasies.. Damnit!

Muttering to himself, Cas slapped Gouda cheese on the buttered slices of whole wheat bread.  
He'd set breakfast plates, silverware and mugs on the breakfast bar.  
Having breakfast sitting down with eachother had been a staple in the lives of him and Gabriel. Oma had forced them to do it during their childhood and their rebellious teen phase and they had both kept to it while living at home with her. Realising how hurried and unsatisfying his breakfast had been since he had moved out, Cas decided to try and rope Dean into doing this daily.

He made a sandwich with 'gestampte muisjes' (basically it was sugar coated anisseed, which got ground to a fine powder) for his brother and put a sandwich on each plate.  
Dressed and hair dried, Dean sat down on his stool, eyebrows raised at his sandwich.  
Not saying anything, Cas motioned him to eat up.  
A quiet "Hmm. Nom." escaped Dean as he was chewing his first bite. Gabriel had settled on his own stool and quietly munched on his own breakfast.  
"You want another, Dean?" Cas asked when three quarters of Dean's sandwich was gone.  
Nodding eagerly, Dean smiled at him with a full mouth.

Cas poured Dean coffee, and Gabriel and himself milk, while assuring Dean that putting Gouda on his sandwiches was no big deal, because oma got lots of it from her relatives back in the Netherlands.  
Gabriel emitted little puffs of 'gestampte muisjes' while mumbling "I wov oma's welatiffs." around his mouthfull.  
Shaking his head fondly at his brother, Cas couldn't stop himself teasing Gabriel.  
The puffs he'd emitted, had made white, sugary stains on Cas' black shirt. He deadpanned and delivered his line without emotion.  
"I swear Gabriel, they have lied to us all these years. You are actually the younger one, not me."  
Gabriel shrugged, while Dean bit his lower lip and quickly drank from his mug.  
Cas assumed he was about to burst out laughing, and a feeling of accomplishment blossomed in his chest.

When Dean grabbed his stuff, he paused, looking at Cas and Gabriel, still sitting at the bar.  
"Thanks for breakfast, Cas. It was fun, eating together and not wolf down a granola bar." he admitted with a smile.  
This was exactly the opening Cas needed. He ducked his head to hide his triumphant smile and schooled his features before answering.  
"You're welcome, Dean. If you like, we can do this every day. I know I would love it. We used to have breakfast like this every day. I miss it. It's a fun yet relaxed way to start the day."

Dean nodded whilst putting on his leather jacket.  
"It sure is, bud. If you don't mind, we could do that. I'd like that." he smiled.  
Cas wanted to whoop out loud, but restrained himself. Gabriel was watching him with a knowing expression.  
His golden eyes darted from Dean's retreating back to Cas, and back.  
When the door had clicked shut, Gabriel slapped the bar with a gleeful grin.  
"You are **so** head over heels, baby brother! It's patheticly sweet!"  
Feeling his cheeks burn like the fires of the Pit, Cas started clearing away the dishes.  
"Shut up, Gabriel, and get going. You still need to go home and change before work."  
Gabriel chuckled and gave him a sloppy, sticky, anisseed scented kiss on his cheek.  
"Love you too, Cassie. See ya!" he sing-songed and all but skipped out the door.


	18. Chapter 18

**I'm so, so sorry my unicorns! Somehow this chapter got lost! I'm fixing it right now! Please be patient!**

After doing the dishes, starting a load of laundry and lounging about, while Ayreon softly played in the background, Cas made himself some lunch.  
He caught sight of the sky through the kitchen window, and frowned. It was dirty yellow, and threatening snow.  
His phone binged with a weather notification, making him rush to get it.  
Not five seconds later he barked a Dutch expletive and dropped his phone on the sofa, whilst making a mad dash for his sockdrawer.

Pulling on warm socks, his jeans and his boots, Cas kept an eye on the sky, which had started to drop fluffy, white flakes.  
He stopped the cd, pulled on his black coat, revelling in the way it hugged his form like it was happy to see him, and made his way to the scullery.  
His eyes brightened slightly as he took in the two shelves of resin skulls. It had started out as a joke between Gabriel and him. Oma, when she heard his house had a scullery, had innocently asked what skulls had to do with a house, to which Gabriel had burst our laughing, and Cas had explained what it actually was.

As a housewarming gift, Gabriel had given Cas his first resin skull. They were all very lifelike, and probably pretty expensive, but every now and then, Gabriel would gift him another, each one different from the rest. His last addition was one with ramshorns and fangs. The box had been labeled 'Resin Demonskull'.  
Even oma had joined in and this had been her Christmas gift to him, last year.  
He rubbed a finger over the enlarged canine and smiled, before turning to the door.

The wind cut off his muttered curse, as the cold hit him hard.  
This was the pits for his bees!  
The temperature had stayed pretty mild, for South Dakota standards, since New Years, and his bees had been getting active.  
This sudden drop could potentially spell doom for his hives.  
Bracing himself, Cas trudged through the built up snow and made his way to the back of the yard, where his hives stood.

The buzzing that came from the hives was loud enough to be heard while standing next to them. Breathing easier, Cas checked the temperature to be extra sure, but the volume told him his swarms were home and taking care of their heat regulation.  
The snow still drifted down, and some flakes made their way under his collar, causing him to shiver.  
It would be best to get back inside, and hope Dean would make it home safely.  
After one last pat to the hives, Cas turned and retraced his steps.

When he got to the scullery door, he caught movement from the corner of his eye.  
Dean was home, and opened the door to the kitchen.  
He recoiled slightly at the sight of Cas' collection, and his mouth moved as he probably cussed out Cas.  
It made Cas chuckle softly as he reached for the door.  
Dean was looking at that very first skull, his back turned on the door.  
Feeling mischievous, Cas silently stepped inside and closed the door swiftly.

Dean tapped the skull with a nail and chuckled low. Then he picked it up and took on a woeful stance. Cas bit his lip, willing himself to stay silent. It looked like Dean was about to...  
"Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him Horatio..."  
And that was both expected and surprising. Cas had thought a 'Hamlet' was coming, but not the correct text. So, he ended the quote in his own gravelly voice, secretly enjoying the way Dean jumped at it.  
"Don't **do** that... Geez, you're gonna give me a heart attack one day." Dean groused, hand pressed to where Cas now knew that sexy tattoo was.

He chuckled low, and started to remove the snow that had settled on his coat. It was starting to melt already, even though the scullery was significantly colder than the house.  
"So, you finally decided to check out my skulls?" he teased Dean, trying to ignore the buzz that had started in his veins when he thought about that morning.  
"No. You weren't in the house, so I thought I should see if you were here, or maybe got caught in that." came the slightly croaked answer.  
Cas followed his gesture towards the window, to find the snow blocking nearly everything. Thinking about his bees, Cas pondered it. He was glad to have stepped out when he had.  
"Hm. I was out there. I wanted to check the temperature on the hives." he explained himself.

Suddenly he felt a hand brush through his hair, and his heart lept to his throat. Did Dean just stroke his hair? Why?  
He snapped his head around, only to catch a startled and slightly guilty look on Dean's face.  
"What are you doing?" Cas asked, curious to know the answer.  
"I...I ehm... You have snow in your hair..." Dean said, a shocked quality to his words.  
Pushing down the disappointment, Cas ran his own hand through his locks, to see a few flakes dislodge and drift down.  
"Huh. So I do. Thank you, Dean."

In his mind he replayed everything he'd seen in here, and a question arose.  
"I didn't know you knew Shakespeare." he said softly, still amazed at the correct quote Dean had given.  
Dean looked abashed and mumbled: "Just a bit..."  
Heart glowing at how cute a flustered Dean was, Cas corected him.  
"More than just a bit, Dean. Most people go for the "to do, or not to do" phrase when encountering a skull. You picked the apropriate one." he supplied, tugging his gloves off.  
Dean blushed so deeply, Cas felt that if he were to press his hand to them, the warmth would burn his cold hands.

Dean mumbled something about playing Hamlet in highschool, probably fearing that Cas would find him a dweeb or nerd.  
Cas just grinned at him, imagining him in the appropriate costume, and liking it.  
To reassure Dean, he just said he was lucky to have met a fellow theatre kid, and took off his coat, placing it on the table next to the door.  
Dean's eyes took in his old, faded T-shirt and a smile tugged at those enticing lips.  
"A Reinventing the Steel shirt... and it looks old enough to be from the release tour." he nodded in appreciation.

Cas ran his hand over the shirt, remembering the day he bought it.  
He told Dean about it, loving the fact that he could share this happy memory with someone who would know how awesome it was.  
Dean was radiating warmth and it felt like sunshine on the first day of Spring.  
When Dean asked about other bands, Cas noticed how close they were standing, and his mind pounced on that information, creating all kinds of tempting scenario's.  
Willing his thoughts back on track, Cas licked his lower lip before answering.  
He had to do something, before he would... well... **do** something...  
He started to untie his boots, figuring that if he got inside, the temptation would fade.

Suddenly Dean changed the subject, asking if his boots were the ones from the closet.  
Taken by surprise, Cas frowned and asked why they wouldn't be.  
"I.. I just assumed they were left by that other guy..." he answered with a shrug.  
Cas burst out laughing.  
That was the silliest thing Dean could have answered.  
"Balthazar?! Oh my word, no! He wouldn't touch these with a ten foot pole! Loafers for him, or respectable shoes or boots. He'd take cyanide before donning combatboots!"  
The image of Balthazar in combatboots was so entertaining, Cas nearly missed Dean's invitation to get inside, and his mention of a present.  
That piqued his interest and he tilted his head.

He surreptiously took a deep breath, and smelled Dean. Not his cologne, or deodorant, but his own, woodsy smell.  
His insides lurched and he nearly reached out to pull Dean against him.  
He swiftly pushed past Dean before he could act.  
Cas cleared away his boots and then looked around wonderingly.  
"Looking for this?" Dean asked, holding up the black coat.  
Feeling very silly to have forgotten he had put is on the table in the scullery, Cas thanked Dean and hung it on its hanger.

Only when he had sufficiently willed his mind back on track, did Cas remember the comment about a gift.  
"You got a present? From whom? What is it?" he asked curiously.  
Dean walked over to the coffeetable and picked up a bottle.  
"This. That guy from the crankshaft was pretty pleased with my work. Wanna warm up a bit?"  
Cas smiled at the familiar coloured bottle and the equally familiar label and got some glasses.  
Looked like Rufus had been satisfied with Dean's work.


	19. Chapter 19

Sitting on the sofa, mind marinating in Johnny Walker Blue, Cas let his eyes take in Dean.  
The man was relaxed, probably pretty buzzed too, and he looked good enough to eat.  
His cheeks sported rosy blushes, accentuating his freckles and the green of his eyes.  
Cas bit his bottom lip, as Dean licked his. He so, so wanted to crawl over and kiss Dean. Just see if he tasted as good as he looked and smelled.  
Dean was quiet too.  
They had swapped stories for a bit, slowly regressing to sillier and sillier ones.

Dean cocked his head slightly, like a curious squirrel.  
"You like your coats long, huh?" he stated, sipping his drink.  
Cas pouted at that. It seemed Dean didn't mind his sillyness, or his stubborn clinging to his black coat. Still he felt he should explain.  
"Yes. Shorter coats make me look ridiculously tall. These don't."  
Dean pouted adorably and slumped down in a huff.

"So, I look ridiculous in my coat?" he asked in a hurt tone.  
Heart stopping, Cas scooted over to him.  
"No! Nonono. You're much more muscular, less skin and bones than I. You look great in that jacket!" he rushed to console Dean.  
That enticing blush reappeared and Cas wanted to kiss Dean so badly...  
Only the fact that Dean was talking, stopped him. He really should pay attention.  
"...not skin and bones. No. You're lanky. Your muscles don't show until you use them. I bet you're much stronger than you look."  
There was an idea... he should show Dean... prove his theory... Yeah.  
Cas smiled brightly at Dean.

"You think so?" he asked softly, as his eyes took in the man top to bottom. He could lift him, he was sure of it.  
Dean swallowed hard and nodded.  
He looked like a deer, trapped in headlights.  
Cas giggled, elated by his own daring.  
"Ok then, Dean. I'll try something." he said and got to his feet, which somehow seemed to be on ice, but he managed to stay upright.  
"Here we go. Hang on, Dean!" he said, shoving his arms under the taller man.

Dean tensed and Cas could hear the hitch in his breath.  
"Whoa! Whadd're y'doin'?" Dean slurred, a bit breathless.  
Cas took in the flushed cheeks, the big, green eyes and the plush lips that were parted in shock.  
Yeah, he could do this, he **would** do this. Cas was going to carry Dean to his room, so he could sleep off the booze. Dean looked pretty buzzed.  
He tensed his muscles and lifted Dean, bridal style.  
Admitted, Dean was slightly heavier than Cas had expected, but he managed.  
Dean's arms flew around his neck and Cas loved the feeling.

He let his brow rest against Dean's. His head was sort of heavy...  
Cas hummed. Oh right, Dean asked a question. It would be impolite to not answer.  
"Lifting you up." Cas mumbled, taking care to not speak too loud.  
"I see that... why?" Dean asked, voice so low Cas had to strain to hear.  
"To see if I can. To see if you're right... are you right?"  
Dean licked his lips, making Cas' breath hitch.  
"'Bout what?"

Biting his lip, Cas thought about his answer. What was he trying to do again? Oh! Right!  
"Am I stronger than I look?" he coaxed.  
Still flushed, Dean nodded silently.  
"I'm gonna put you in bed. You're drunk, and need sleep."  
Dean snorted adorably, making Cas want to nuzzle his neck.  
"I'm drunk? You're one to talk!"

Now that was just rude. Cas could hold his liquor!  
"Shush. I once found a liquor store..." he scolded Dean, who didn't look impressed. He should be! That had been the most drunk Cas had ever been, and if Gabriel hadn't hogged the sweet mix stuff, he would have been even drunkerder... or something...  
Dean smirked, not in the least bit awed.  
"And?" he prompted, making Cas realise he hadn't told the whole story. Which was pretty long, come to think of it... he would edit.  
"And I drank it!" he proclaimed proudly. Yes, that would do.

Dean put their heads together again, which was very nice, but he was shaking, no, he was **laughing**! That was insulting... Determined Cas tightened his grip slightly.  
"I can so put you in bed, Dean Winchester..." he stated, and lifted one foot.  
His other started to slip, so he put the first back down, but that lost grip too, and suddenly...  
He ended up lying on top of Dean, his nose to Dean's, his eyes locked onto those veridian ones.  
"Fuck, Cas. Your eyes are really fucking blue..." Dean breathed, his breath warm on Cas' lips.  
Cas licked them, trying to taste Dean, but is was just warm air.  
"Yours are so beautifully green... like a forrest. With sunshine flecks..." Crap... did he really just say that?  
Dean just hummed, the vibrations zinging through Cas.  
Cas tilted his head and **finally** gave in to what he had wanted since Dean came back it into his life. He pressed his mouth to Dean's.  
Dean's lips were wonderfully soft and warm.

When Dean keened, deep in his throat, Cas answered with his own keen, pressing further.  
Dean's hands slid around his head, pressing him closer, carding through his hair.  
Spots started dancing before Cas' eyes and he reluctantly pulled back.  
"Dean..." he started, wanting to ask if this was a wonderful dream, but when Dean answered with a slightly breathless, and sexrough voice, he was done for.  
He dove right back and licked his way into that kissable mouth.  
Dean tasted like whiskey, and something earthy, musky. Very... Dean.  
Dean moaned into his mouth, causing him to echo the sound, before he curled their tongues together.  
 _'If this is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up!'_ Cas decided.

Yet, somehow, the kisses got less heated, more sluggish.  
Before long, they were merely snuggling on the sofa.  
"Cas... I liked that." Dean admitted, sounding sleepy.  
Cas felt warm, and safe, and he snuggled down for a nap.  
"Me too... I'm sleepy, Dean." he admitted.  
Dean's arm wrapped around his shoulder like a safetyblanket.  
"Hmhm. So am I. We'll eat later." Dean rumbled low.  
What a great plan.  
Cas snuggled deeper, reveling in the thought that they would wake up together like this.


	20. Chapter 20

**A.N. I messes up, my unicorns. I'm sorry. So show my original chapter 18 got lost. I replaced it, so things will make more sense. If you were following this before August 22nd 2018, go back and re-read from 18. Again, so sorry!**

The sound of his own snore startled Cas awake.  
"Ah! Oh shit..." he moaned softly, cradling his head with his hands.  
"Mmm. Hoofd... aaauwww."  
He tried opening his eyes less sudden.  
They only made slits before the sharp pain flashed again.  
"Stomkop." he cussed himself.  
Dragging himself to the bathroom, he regretted drinking that much the last night.  
Something niggled in his mind, and he stared at his reflection. His eyes were bleary, blue spots.  
Blue... Dean's face swam to the surface of his mind, cheeks flushed and very up close, his voice soft and awed. 'Your eyes are really fucking blue...'  
Cas slapped his hand over his mouth.

 _'Dean... he said... did he? Have we...? No. I'm in my own room... if we... then we'd be in the same bed, right? Which means... shit... another dream! But it was soooo good. UGH! I want that, and I don't. Make up your mind, Novak!'_  
More pissed at himself than hung over by now, Cas splashed his face with icy cold water, shocking his brain in gear. He drank three glasses of the same, cold water, emerging more human.  
His eye caught the time on his alarm, and he cussed again.  
Dean would be late, if he didn't get up now!  
Cas grabbed his phone, which lit up, making him notice the three missed calls and two messages.  
Seeing that the first message was from Gabriel, who also was the one he'd missed calls from, Cas opened his message app.

Received 7,13 Gabriel:  
Damnit Cassie! Pick up your fucking phone!  
Sammoose and I are stuck in this fucking blizzard.  
Whether you and/or Dean-o are home or not, fuck it. We're seeking shelter at your place!  
See ya there.  
Your pissed off, but still AWESOME big bro.

Cas sighed. It seemed the snow had caught their brothers by surprise too.  
Well, Gabriel knew where the spare key was, so they would be safe.  
He opened the second message, to find it from his work. The firm had called in a snowday, just 20 minutes ago. That would mean Gabriel was off, and probably the Winchesters too.  
He could make a lazy breakfast!  
First things first. He ambled downstairs, took Dean's phone from the coffeetable and saw he had messages too. Chances of an elaborate lazy breakfast were going up.  
Envigourated, Cas made his way to Dean's room.

The dream was still in the back of his mind, and he took a deep breath, before knocking.  
"Dean? Are you up?" he tried.  
Silence, then a grumbled: "Yeah... I'm upright. Awake is optional today..."  
Cas couldn't help it, he laughed softly.  
Opening the door, he vervently hoped Dean was decent. He was.  
It seemed they both had gone upstairs, then decided against undressing and just flopped into bed to sleep... and dream... sweet dreams... DAMNIT!

To say something, anything, Cas decided to hand Dean his phone whilst commenting about the snowday.  
Dean smiled sweetly, his eyes soft, but Cas noticed they were also slightly bloodshot, and his face was pale.  
"You look ill. Are you ok?" he wavered, worried that Dean might throw up.  
Dean smiled more sincerely at him, still looking pale and ruffled.  
"Yeah... just a little hung over. I'll be fine in a bit." he answered, before turning on his phone.

It seemed Sam had tried to contact Dean too, because he suddenly started fussing about their brothers being caught in the snowstorm.  
Cas calmed him down, explaining about the spare key.  
Dean bit his lip, eyeing the phone, but he opened he next message.  
A true smile lit his handsome face up, and he showed the text to Cas.  
"Looks like I'm off the hook too, bud."  
Cas actually rubbed his hands and announced lazy breakfast.

Knowing his brother, he would be in the guestroom, so Cas made his way there.  
Predictably, Gabriel was up and ready as soon as held heard Cas was making breakfast.  
The bouncy rubberball that claimed to be his big brother, confirmed that Sam was there too, so Cas wasn't surprised to find the tall guy lying on his sofa, talking to Dean about the snowday.  
He could hear Gabriel shout an an annoyingly perky greeting at Sam, and smirked at the scrambled eggs he was making. This was going to be so great!

 **Notes:**

 **English to Dutch translation:  
Hoofd... aaauwww. - Head... owwwww  
Stomkop - stupid, or idiot.**


	21. Chapter 21

Cas was happily reading a book, Dean sitting on the stool next to him, playing something on his phone, whilst their brothers were doing the washing up.  
"Only fair, Gabriel." Sam had argued.  
"Dean and Cas did the cooking, so we do the dishes. Suck it up, and get that teatowel."  
With his signature pout marring his face, Gabriel had fallen in line.  
Now he was letting his eyes roam over Sam's backside, and Cas was pointedly ignoring him.

"Say, Cassie..." Gabriel's voice cut through his reading haze.  
 _'Oh lord, now what?'_ Cas thought with some desperation.  
 _'Please, don't let him embarras me by saying something overly sexual about my housemate's little brother!'_  
Schooling his features and voice to neutral, Cas looked up.  
"What is it, Gabriel?" he inquired drily.  
His brother was holding up one of the tumbler glasses Cas and Dean had used last night, and panic clutched at his chest.

"Was last night celebratory, or trying to forget?" his big brother teased, his golden eyes twinkling.  
Heat rushed his cheeks and Cas cast a glance at Dean, who was also looking at the glass, albeit with a calm expression.  
 _'Of course. He didn't have sexually tinted dreams about his housemate... Crap! I'm so screwed!'_  
Dean quirked an eyebrow at the glass, and then cleared his throat.  
"Two things, actually. One: I had a great day, and this guy gifted me that botte, and two: Cas needed to warm up. He'd been out there." he explained in that sexy, gruff voice, and Cas could feel his cheeks light up even more.  
Ostentatiously calm, Cas held up his book again, hiding behind it.

Gabriel fumbled the glass, nearly letting it smash to the grond.  
"What? Why?! You're having a payed vaykay!" he nearly whined, as if being outside was not something one did when not having to work.  
Behind his book, Cas rolled his eyes.  
Then he put it carefully on the bar and explained how he had feared the drop in temperature would have surprised his bees.  
Gabriel nodded in understanding, but Dean seemed taken aback.  
"Bees? You actually have beehives?" he asked sincerely.

Thinking he would have asked that yesterday, Cas threw him a look, but Dean was honestly surprised, if the look on his face was anything to judge by.  
"Yes. I do. Why do you think I have so much honey?" Cas needed to know the answer.  
When Dean quietly breathed out an "Awesome...", Cas glowed on the inside.  
Dean didn't think his hobby was weird, or nerdy... he thought it awesome.  
Sam was shaking his head, long hair softly swaying from left to right, and Gabriel followed every swish with his eyes.  
 _'Oh... oh shit. If Gabriel gets infatuated with Sam... what would that do to my relation to Dean? Would Dean bolt? Or would he go all 'Big Brother' on Gabriel and cause such trouble I would have to choose? I couldn't...'_  
Sam's exasperated question if Dean hadn't bothered to check out the yard, made Cas chuckle, despite his inner turmoil.

"He didn't even set foot in the scullery before yesterday..." Cas confessed, making his brother laugh loudly and ask how high Dean had jumped.  
The way Dean grumbled his denial, made Cas think he might rather have kept that between them.  
Of course Gabriel didn't let go. He was like a dog with a bone at times...  
"Yeah, right. Sammich here told me you love jumpscares... so fess up, bucko." he needled.  
Dean's scowl was turning into a snarl, and Cas didn't want them to fall out. Not after the very nice breakfast they had just enjoyed.  
Time to intervene, and Cas knew just how to diffuse this one.  
"He actually didn't, Gabriel. I saw him through the window. He recoiled a bit, but that was all. Now, are we done here? I feel like it's coffee time."

Predictably, Gabriel was all ears and eagerness.  
"Coffee time? You're kidding... did she..." he stammered, unable to form a sentence in his joy.  
Knowing exactly what his sugar addicted brother meant, Cas nodded.  
With a whoop, Gabriel smacked Sam on the butt with the teatowel.  
Squawking in surprise, Sam went rigid.  
"Coffee time, Sam-a-lam! You'll love coffee time... you too, Dean-o!" Gabriel enthused and made his way to the sofa, where he knew Cas would serve the coffee.  
The Winchesters looked stumped, and Cas had to bite his lip to not laugh at them.

He brought the coffee and slices of oma's applepie to the living room, where the others were sitting around the coffee table. Gabriel sat on the floor, like the big five year old he was, and bounced up and down.  
"Oooohhh. Oma outdid herself! Look at that perfection!" he cooed.  
Cas had piped beautiful rosettes of whipped cream on each slice, like she'd taught him.  
Dean's gorgeous, green eyes widened and a gleam of desire came to them.  
Ignoring the pooling lust in his gut, Cas served coffee and pie.  
Gabriel eyed Sam carefully while he took his first bite, as if his reaction to a piece of oma's apple pie was of earthshattering import.  
"See, Samshine? Told you, you'd love it." he coaxed as he wiped up a big dollop of his cream.

Sam smiled at Gabriel and hummed assent, making the blush on Gabriel's cheeks deepen slightly.  
"So, coffee time means just that? Time for coffee?" Dean asked as he plunged his fork into his piece of pie.  
Shaking his head, Cas explained.  
"Not just time for coffee, Dean. Between ten and eleven, it is time for coffee, and some sweet snack, like cookies, or in this case applepie."  
Gabriel slapped his knee.  
"Cassie! Not just any applepie! Home made by our grandmother, or oma, as we call her."

When Dean moaned around his bite of applepie, Cas had to cross his legs.  
It shot right through him.  
Gabriel had snuck the pipingbag with him and was carefully piping more cream on his pie.  
Cas sighed and glared at his sibling.  
"Gabriel, you have had enough cream now, haven't you?"  
With an innocent expression on his usually devious face, Gabriel looked up at him, finger still in his mouth from swiping more cream.

The situation must have been ridiculous, because Dean started chuckling.  
"Awe Cassie... you sound like oma." Gabriel pouted, trying his puppy eyes on his brother.  
Cas cocked an eyebrow, and ignored the muffled laughter from Dean.  
"Good. Then you know not to try me." Cas said adamantly.  
The increased chortling from Dean made both Novaks turn their head and demand: "What?"


	22. Chapter 22

Dean smirked widely and his green eyes darted from Gabriel to Cas and back.  
"I just love how Cas is the more responsible one, even though he's the youngest." he stated with twinkling eyes.  
Cas could see his point, and even agreed to a certain degree, but he knew Gabriel wouldn't see it that way.  
His brother was drawing himself up to his height, and his amber eyes were starting to darken.  
"Shut up, Winchester. I could say the same for you two. At least Sam went to college..." Gabriel started, but to their great surprise, Sam piped up with a harshly barked "Hey!"

The tallest Winchester was glaring at Gabriel, and his eyes were a stormy, dark grey.  
He took a deep breath, and then he let go.  
"Dean didn't go to college, because he was working. He wanted to pay our way. Uncle Bobby didn't have much, but he took us in. Dean felt it was on **him** to help out. And my college tuition was only viable because Dean saved up for it. The first four years were **not** payed by a full ride. Pre-law is on the students themselves... or their family. So can it, Novak!" Sam snapped.  
Cas loved that his brother got cut off so efficiently, and smiled. Gabe could get snippy when annoyed, and remembering what Rufus and Dean had already revealed about the Winchester boys youth, Cas agreed with Sam wholeheartedly.

Gabriel gaped at Sam, but was that a... hurt look in his eyes?  
Cas took in what Dean said about being ok with it. Aparently the blunt statement Gabriel had uttered wasn't new to him, and he could shrug it off.  
Sam, it seemed, had more trouble.  
"I know," he answered Dean. "...but I hate when people act like you're stupid. You're not. You're smart too. Just not the kind of smart that gets taught in college."  
Sam bit his lip, looking down at his hands.  
Gabriel closed his mouth and swallowed hard. His eyes were a murky, honey colour, which meant he was sad to the core.  
"I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to... I should've asked before drawing any conclusions." he amended, hand on Sam's knee.

Sam still seemed upset when he told Gabriel he wasn't the one Gabe should be apologising to.  
Cheeks red, Gabriel apologised to Dean, who waved it off goodnaturedly, and Cas was ready to put it all to bed, when Gabriel suddenly stood.  
"I know. But I'm your friend. I should have known better. Way better. There is no excuse." he bit out, and stormed off to the kitchen, abandoning his pie.  
Alarmed, Cas glanced at Dean, who looked equally stumped.  
His green eyes, ever full of expression, told Cas to take care of his brother. Dean would handle Sam.  
Cas silently got to his feet and followed Gabriel.

He found his brother curled up on one of the stools at the breakfast bar, both arms hugging his head.  
"Gabey... wat is er?" Cas asked, trying to assure his distraught sibling their talk would be private, even if one of the others would come in.  
Golden eyes full of misery looked up.  
"Cassie... waarom ben ik zo? Waarom kan ik niet normaal doen als ik vrienden maak?" Gabriel replied, anguished.  
Cas sat down next to him and put an arm around his trembling shoulders.  
"Och, Gabey... het valt vast wel mee. Ik weet zeker dat alles ok is met Dean en Sam. Ze zijn erger gewend."  
A glare told Cas his brother didn't believe him.

"Gabriel, weet je nog? Dean accepteerde me, ondanks mijn vreemde uiterlijk. Hij vertelde me om mezelf te zijn. Hij waardeert je eerlijkheid vast."  
Gabriel shook his head, eyes glistening with unshed tears.  
"Dat is het niet alleen, Cassie... ik... Sam... OH! Alleen ik kan in één zin twee vriendschappen verwoesten!"  
He threw himself on the counter again and hid his head in his arms.  
"Dat geloof ik nooit, Gabriel. Weet je wat? Ik haal Dean. Misschien kan hij je geruststellen."  
Gabriel just nodded his head and tightened his arms around his head.

Heart aching for his brother, Cas stood and quietly made his way back to the Winchesters.  
He stopped dead, right in the archway.  
Dean was whispering to Sam, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and then he winked, causing Cas to temporarily forget why he was there.  
 _'Oh my goodness... I could ravish him right here, if only that dream had been real...UGH!'_  
With a slight shake of his head, Cas got to his senses.  
"Dean..." he softly called, and Dean's eyes flicked over.  
"What's up, Cas?" that gravelly voice asked.  
On instinct, Cas glanced up. He never knew why people wanted to know that. It was irritating.  
"The ceiling... Could you come here. Gabriel has a question for you."  
When Dean patted him on the shoulder, his heart nearly stopped.  
"Don't ever change, Cas." Dean chuckled and Cas swallowed hard.

Sam's smile was watery, but sincere, when Cas sat down next to him.  
"Cas, did... did I hurt Gabe?"  
His voice was soft, scared even.  
Cas shook his head, sure of it.  
"No, you didn't. Not really. I think Gabriel has a few issues right now. He is easily upset when he doesn't know what just happened. He didn't expect you, the easier Winchester, to blow up like that. Heck, I didn't."

Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair.  
"I can understand that. Usually, I am the easier one, but... I don't know. I guess I have issues too. Lisa fucked Dean's mind up so bad. He stopped seeing his worth, Cas. He became this self depriciating guy, who was all talk, but didn't really care for himself. I'm glad he got out. Now he needs someone solid, who helps him remember that he is worthy."  
Was it Cas' imagination, or did Sam look wistful as he stared up at him?  
"I'm going to apologise to Gabe. I overreacted." Sam said and stood.  
Cas just nodded and stared at Gabriel's uneaten pie, his mind buzzing.

 **Notes:**

 **Dutch - English translatation**

 **Wat is er? - What's wrong?**

 **waarom ben ik zo? Waarom kan ik niet normaal doen als ik vrienden maak? - why am I like this? Why can't I act normal whenever I make friends?**

 **Och, Gabey... het valt vast wel mee. Ik weet zeker dat alles ok is met Dean en Sam. Ze zijn erger gewend. - Oh, Gabey, it's probably not that bad. I'm sure everything is ok with Dean and Sam. They're used to worse.**

 **Gabriel, weet je nog? Dean accepteerde me, ondanks mijn vreemde uiterlijk. Hij vertelde me om mezelf te zijn. Hij waardeert je eerlijkheid vast. - Gabriel, do you remember? Dean accepted me, despite my odd apearance. He told me to be myself. He's sure to accept your honesty.**

 **Dat is het niet alleen, Cassie... ik... Sam... OH! Alleen ik kan in één zin twee vriendschappen verwoesten! - it's not just that, Cassie... OH! Only I can destroy two friendships with one sentence!**

 **Dat geloof ik nooit, Gabriel. Weet je wat? Ik haal Dean. Misschien kan hij je geruststellen. - I could never believe that, Gabriel. You know what? I'll get Dean. Maybe he can ease your mind.**


	23. Chapter 23

The way Gabriel was eyeing Sam's butt, had Cas raise an eyebrow, but then Dean came sauntering in, and he forgot all but the way the muscles in those those slightly bowed legs moved under the fabric of his jeans.  
"All good?" he managed to get out, hoping his voice was normal.  
Dean grinned at him and gestured at where Gabriel was now digging into his pie.  
"All good, pal. Everyone was just a bit... touchy, I guess." Dean answered, sitting down to his own pie and coffee.  
Sam was already eating, a slight blush on his cheeks.  
"Yeah. All cool now, Cas. Sorry for blowing up like that." the taller guy offered, a speck of cream on his upper lip.  
Cas pointed it out to him, and Sam licked it off with his tongue.  
The tiny whimper that came from Gabriel was all but inaudible, and Cas was sure neither Winchester caught it.

While they were fetching Cas box of Clue, he took a moment to corner Gabriel.  
"Gabriel... are you sure?" he asked low.  
A calculating squint was his answer.  
"What're you on about, Cassie?"  
Cas licked his lips and glanced around to make sure they were alone.  
"Sam... I can tell you like him."  
Gabriel sighed, a grimace on his face.  
"That obvious, huh? Well, nothing I can do about it, baby bro. He's straight. Dean told me about the girls Sammy had. Girls, plural. Guys... none."  
Gabriel sighed.  
"He is just so... hmhmhm! And sweet, and funny. And tall! I wanna climb him like a tree, Cassie."

Cas chuckled at the image his mind conjured up at that.  
A sly glance from his brother sobered him up.  
"How about you and Dean-o, huh Cassie? Any luck there?"  
Cas blushed deeply, remembering his dreams.  
"Shut up, Gabriel. I'm sure Dean doesn't think of me that way."  
Gabriel pursed his lips in thought.  
"I wouldn't bet on it, bucko... he still eyes your ass every time you walk by. Oma agrees that he wouldn't do it if he wasn't interested..."  
Cheeks flaming, Cas grabbed the game.  
"You talked to oma about me and Dean? Really? Gabriel... leave it, please."  
Gabriel shrugged.  
"If you're sure..." he stated, sauntering off.

The rest of the day, they had a relaxed day of playing games, and lounging about.  
Deep down, Cas wished for today to never end.  
He was about to share the thought, when both his and Gabriel's phone binged an email notification.  
Before he got to it, Sam's phone sounded too. With a small smile at the younger man, Cas took his phone and checked his messages.  
Looked like he got his wish! A curt, yet friendly mail told him that, due to the unexpected long snowfall, employees were not expected at work until further notice.  
That meant Gabriel had an extra snowday too, and donuts to dollars that Sam was reading a similar message.

As if he could read his mind, Sam grinned up at him from his spot on the sofa.  
"Another snowday for me. Cas?" he asked, eyebrows arched up.  
Cas confirmed, and added his suspicion that Gabriel had the same message waiting, when Dean's phone started playing some country song.  
Dean held up one finger to shush them.  
"Bobby. Hi." he answered with a smile.  
Sam yelled out something about a personalised ringtone, but Dean waved him off.

A balloon of happiness in his chest, Cas watched the silent interaction. Sam looked smug and equally happy, until Dean mentioned his car, but calling it a 'bucket of bolts'.  
Sam gaped in mock outrage, and Cas smiled a little at it.  
Gabriel, however hadn't been there for the conversation, being off answering Nature's call.  
He instantly thought something wrong, and asked in a low voice.  
"What's cooking, Sammoose? You look insulted."  
Grumbling, Sam answered, but his eyes were still twinkling.  
Until Gabriel nearly threw himself over the back of the sofa and hugged the guy.  
Sam turned deep red, and Cas wanted to slap Gabriel up the head.  
Hadn't he himself told Cas that Sam was straight?

Gabriel, in the meantime, had seemingly forgotten said conversation, as he flirtingly tried to console Sam, with yet another silly nickname added. Sammykins? Really?  
He also proceded to insult Baby, which had Dean gearing up for a fight.  
Shaking his head, Cas thought how to diffuse this one.  
They still had another day to get through together.  
Which handed him his out.  
"Gabriel... wasn't it gezellig until now? I'd like to keep it that way. We're doomed to another day in eachother's company." Cas wheedled, handing Gabriel his phone.

All fight left Dean and Gabriel instantly, while Gabriel checked his phone.  
He made a silly little in place jump and grinned widely.  
"YAY! More free time! You're right! Cassie. Let's keep it gezellig."  
Catching the exchanged looks between Sam and Dean, Cas wasn't surprised when Sam asked them what the foreign word meant.  
He mentally geared up and patiently started his explaination, while Gabriel was giggling at the question.  
"Gezellig is the coziness, comfort and warmth of being at home, or being together with friends or loved ones, sharing time in a pleasant and nice atmosphere." Cas rattled off.

Dean grinned widely, causing a flock of butterflies to erupt in Cas' belly.  
"Sounds like you had to explain that before..." Dean commented.  
Schooling his features, Cas all but sighed.  
"You have no idea..." he answered, to which Gabriel collapsed with a renewed fit of the giggles. It was exasperating!  
"Seriously, Gabriel? One should think you were used to it by now..." Cas asked his brother, who hung from the sofa, tears of mirth streaming from his eyes.

Gabriel slowly stood, hiccups forming around his last giggles.  
"Nope. Never will get old, Cassie. You're so funny!"  
Funny? He was being serious. Why would that be funny?  
Cas blinked his eyes in confusion.  
"I don't intend to be..." he admitted, taken aback a bit.  
Gabriel let out a sound close to an actual howl and doubled over again.  
"That's the beauty of it, little bro! Ohohoh... stohohooop. You're killing me!"

When Dean put his hand on Cas' shoulder, Cas nearly bit his tongue in shock.  
It was warm, consoling and he wanted it to stray upwards and caress his neck.  
He barely heard Dean explaining away Gabriel's behaviour, due to his heart beating in his ears, but he got the gist, and gave an adequate answer.  
Before Gabriel could answer, his phone rang.  
He answered it with a highpitched yodle of: "Oma! Hoe gaat het?"  
Turning half an ear to the conversation, Cas smiled.  
Oma was probably worried when she couldn't get him on his landline.

When his brother rang off, Dean leaned in, asking in a whisper what that was about.  
Cas answered with his suspicions on the conversation, ending with: "...and she told him to say Hi to me."  
Gabriel grinned evilly and dread filled Cas. This wasn't going to be pretty.  
"Almost on the nose, brother dearest! She also asked me to give you a kiss..." Gabe smirked.  
Mentally racing through Gabriel's side of the talk, Cas thought it plausible, but the grin and mischievous twinkle in Gabriel's eyes told him it wasn't that innoccuous.  
He snapped, in Dutch, that he didn't believe his brother, anger rising quickly.

"Ok, ok. Ze vroeg me om te zorgen dat je hem eindelijk zou zoenen." Gabriel answered with that grin and in a tone that told Cas that, yes that was indeed what oma had said!  
He couldn't believe his ears.  
 _'Oma... Gabriel... they are the same, aren't they. Telling him to get me to kiss Dean. I'd **love** to do so, but Hell and damnation! It isn't their place!'_  
He was fuming by now, and if they had been alone, Cas would have clocked his big brother. For now, he just snarled at him, snapping a curt: "Dat zijn jullie zaken niet!" at Gabriel.  
He stood, ready to storm off, but the gobsmacked faces of Sam and Dean stayed his pace.

He forced himself to stay put and grind out an excuse.  
"Sam, Dean. Excuse me. I will be in my room." Cas managed and he calmly climbed the stairs, shutting off Dean's utterly nonplussed "Gabe, Dude... what the Hell?" by softly closing his door.  
Then he threw himself on his bed and screamed in his pillow.  
Frustration and indignation battled in his chest, making him actually cry.  
It was so unfair! He wasn't as outgoing as Gabriel, and oma knew it.  
The dream he had last night was still haunting him, and he was so tired of pretending he didn't want to push Dean up against a wall and kiss him until they both needed oxygen.  
The times that man drove him crazy, just by licking his lips, or biting them, or rubbing a hand over them...  
Cas screamed in his pillow again.

 **Notes:**

 **Dutch - English translations**

 **Oma! Hoe gaat het? - Nanna! How are you?**

 **Ok, ok. Ze vroeg me om te zorgen dat je hem eindelijk zou zoenen. - Ok, ok. She asked me to get you to finally kiss him.**

 **Dat zijn jullie zaken niet! - That's none of your business!**


	24. Chapter 24

After a bit, Cas heard a soft knock on his door.  
Thinking it was Gabriel, he didn't answer.  
A soft "Cas?" drifted through the wood, in that arousing gruff voice, and Cas could hear the worry tinting it. Damnit!  
Cas' heart kicked into triple overtime and he sat up, rubbing his face furiously.  
Now he had upset Dean. Great!  
Another soft knock, this time followed by: "Cas, please. I'm worried about you. Talk to me, buddy."  
Taking a deep breath and shoving all emotions down, Cas made his way to the door and opened it.

The green eyes that were haunting him daily, did a swift once-over and Cas wanted to grab Dean and burry himself in his arms.  
Instead he deadpanned, and forced out a flat: "I will be ok, Dean."  
Face speaking volumes, Dean placed a hand on the door. He didn't believe a word Cas said.  
"Come on down, bud." Dean tried, but Cas couldn't. He would break down, or bodily attack his brother. He was not calmed down in the least.  
Not wanting to waste words, or argue with Dean, who was an unwitting party in this whole mess, Cas snapped out a harsh: "No." and turned back towards his bed, expecting Dean to leave.  
Instead, Dean tried again, this time pleading.  
Cas glared at him over his shoulder. Couldn't that guy take a hint?  
"Dean! I said no!" he barked, instantly regretting it. He didn't want to hurt Dean, but maybe now, Dean would leave him be.

But no. Dean's face grew resolved and he determinedly walked over to Cas.  
He squatted down next to him, taking Cas' hands between his own.  
When those veridian eyes caught his, Cas could feel the cracks break in his mask.  
This wasn't going to be that easy.  
Dean's eyes were locked onto his, following them wherever he turned them.  
"Talk to me."  
It was short, sweet and simple.  
Here was the cause of all his inner turmoil, and he was offering a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on.  
Cas' mask crumbled and he dropped his gaze, Dean following, keeping contact.  
"I didn't mean to... Dean, I'm sorry."  
He could hardly hear his own pleading voice.

Dean could, apparently.  
He softly squeezed Cas' hands and his eyes were shining with sincerity.  
"For what, Cas? You didn't do anything wrong in my eyes. As I understood, Gabe and your grandma were bang out of order about something. I don't know or even care what. It hurt you enough to run up here and hide. So, talk to me."  
There was so, so much to say, but first, Cas had to put something straight.  
"I did not 'run'." he stated, fingers placing the quotes.  
That got a careless shrug.  
"Not all running is actually walking fast. You ran, by calmly ascending the stairs. Don't bullshit me, Cas. Talk."

But he couldn't. He couldn't just admit to Dean that he wanted him. That he spent hours every day imagining how soft his lips would be, how he would taste, how his hands would feel, carding through his hair... it physically hurt his stomach to think about saying any of those things to Dean.  
Folding his arms around his aching stomach, Cas curled in on himself.  
"Dean.. I can't..." he gasped out.  
Suddenly, those strong arms were around him, that woodsy smell tickled his nostrils, and Dean hugged him.  
Dean was **hugging him**!  
All tension bled out of Cas' muscles.

"Ok. Allright. Don't worry, buddy. It's fine. I'm just concerned. You're hurting, and I can't help if you don't talk." that gruff voice softly told him, the vibrations of it calming Cas down further.  
He let out a shuddering sigh and melted into the hug.  
"This is actually helping already..." Cas admitted softly, closing his eyes.  
He could feel the smile he heard in Dean's voice, against his neck.  
"What? The hug, or the offer to help?" Dean asked, a little teasing tone in his voice, but his hug got tighter still.  
Cas couldn't help but snuggle down into it, wishing the world would stop now, so he could have this forever. However he couldn't, and he explained to Dean.  
"Both... and the compassion. The indisciminate acceptance, while you don't know what's going on."

Expecting a scoff, or Dean pulling back, or both, Cas was surprised to feel one hand slide up to his hair and hug him closer.  
"I don't need to know, Cas. I just need you to be ok. Deal?" Dean rumbled low.  
Throat too constricted to form words, Cas hummed, and finally allowed his arms to circle Dean in an answering hug.  
It felt amazing.  
Basking in the warmth and solace Dean was radiating, Cas bit his lip not to cry and sighed.  
Dean started stroking his hair and mumbling soft words in his ear.  
Since he had moved out, Cas hadn't been comforted like this, and he never wanted to leave that warm embrace.

After a while, Cas' need for solace drained away, and a less innocent need started waking up.  
Would Dean notice if he was hugging, just to be close to him? Just to be able to inhale that scent, to feel that hand in his hair... he needed to stop this, before he would do anything inapropriate, like plant a kiss on that stretch of naked skin, next to his lips.  
Arousal was slowly building and Cas knew he was starting to blush with it.  
He fought it down, and began pulling free.  
Once he had enough distance to look into that sweet face, Cas calmed down more.  
"Thank you, Dean. I feel much better now." he said low.  
Dean smiled that alluring, crooked smile and his eyes were soft.

"You're welcome. Wanna come down? I'm sure Sam has chewed Gabe out by now, for hurting you." he joked, but Cas just couldn't.  
He was afraid Gabriel would say something more, and... no. He didn't want to risk it.  
"Could you excuse me? I'm feeling rather tired and want to have an early night." Cas half lied.  
He wasn't tired, but he did want to go to bed and forget this day...  
Dean patted his knee and left after a soft: "Sure thing. You go to bed, rest up. We'll see you tomorrow."  
When the door closed on Dean, Cas fell back on his bed, hands over his face.  
 _'Oh my word... I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to drag him down here with me and make him a wanting, shivering mess. What is **wrong** with me?'_

When he heard voices start up downstairs, he all but ran into his bathroom and turned on a cold, cold shower.  
It didn't help.  
The memory of those strong arms, the loving caress of that calloused hand on his head, it kept Cas' blood running hot.  
Before long, Cas turned up the warm water and, leaning against the wall, he let the jets of water ease his muscles.

 **AN.**

 **I had to edit this chapter a teeny bit, to comply with the FFN rules.**

 **Unedited version of this story is available on AO3, same title, same username.**

 **love!**


	25. Chapter 25

The rumble of voices slowly woke him up.  
His eyes were gritty and his back stiff.  
After his shower Cas had indeed felt as drained as he had told Dean he was, so he'd crawled into bed, and snuggled down.  
The result being that he had now slept over twelve hours, and his body did not like him for it.  
With a groan and a muffled Dutch expletive, Cas rolled out of his bed.

At the top of the stairs, he could smell coffee and French toast.  
His mouth started to water, and he made his way downstairs.  
He could hear Dean grumble an answer to Gabriel.  
"Morning, Gabe. Cas ain't up yet... so I guess **I'm** amazing, huh?"  
Biting his lip not to snort in laughter, Cas slowly walked towards the kitchen, where Gabriel was commenting on Sam brushing his hair.  
He walked in on Dean ruffling his hands through Sam's long locks and making a mess, while his own brother was watching with a rapt expression on his face.  
Sam looked resigned and pulled his hands through his hair once.  
It fell back flawless.

Gabriel gaped.  
"No way... That's not fair! I was polite with you being tall, I can deal with you being handsome... but perfect hair? Damn you to Hell!"  
Curious as to what would happen, Cas leaned against the archway, while Dean burst out laughing.  
"That's my baby brother, Gabe. You'll get used to it." Dean chuckled, while Gabriel pouted and sat down.  
"And you? You got any amazing qualities Cassie and I need to know of? You don't need to work out, because you are just simply this muscled?" he groused, darkly glaring at Dean.  
Dean sniggered and stroked his slight pudge, causing Cas to bite down on his lower lip.  
"Well..." he started, but Gabriel slapped his hand on the bar.  
"You Winchesters! Not only do you hit the jackpot for handsomeness, but you get all the good perks too!"

What a... UGH.  
Cas pushed off from the archway and intervened.  
"Oh Gabriel, quit whining. You're the one who can gorge himself on mainly sugar, and not gain an ounce. Or develop diabetes." he said, running a hand through his own hair and sauntering into the light.  
Dean quickly set the table, a slight blush dusting his freckled cheeks.  
"Morning sunshine. You sleep ok?" he asked, eyes darting to Cas'.  
Cas could feel warmth that the nickname brought to his heart, radiate in his answering smile.

"Exceptionally, thank you, Dean. And now you have made breakfast." he noted, as if he hadn't stood there for minutes, taking in the kitchen and the spread Dean had made.  
Dean's freckles stood out more as his blush deepened.  
"Just thought y'all might like to sleep in a bit." he mumbled, putting a plate of toast down in front of Sam and Gabriel, who imediately started to stuff his face.  
"And I'm sure we all appreciate it very much." Cas answered, casting a warning glance at Gabriel, who fumbled around his mouthfull.  
Chuckling and shaking his head, Sam handed the guy a napkin.  
After a massive gulp, Gabriel finally spoke.

When he timidly asked Cas whether their were still ok, Cas felt guilty. He had been a bit out of line too, and he said as much, but still warned Gabriel to watch his mouth. Gabriel conceded and looked so small and so, so young, that Cas couldn't stay mad at him.  
"Zand erover, broer." he said, and Gabriel brightened, attacking his toast with a vengeance.  
The warm smile Cas caught between Sam and Dean made his day lighter too.  
Things weren't as bad as he thought.

The rest of the day was spent in good spirits, with goodhumoured banter and excellent food. Dean made his famous burgers, and around seven, as they were digesting their last bit of oma's applepie, the anchor on the local news channel said the snow was finally letting up, and local businesses were expected to slowly get going again the next morning.  
Dean sighed and patted his belly.  
"It's for the best, really. Any more snowdays, and I'm gonna be as round as Frosty the snowman himself."  
Sam chuckled and stretched his tall form.  
"Hmm. Besides... money needs to be made to buy the food to do that."  
Cas caught the hungry flick of Gabriel's eyes and smiled.

"True, and, as much as I liked these two days with you and Gabriel as company, it will be nice to get back into a more sedate routine."  
Gabriel grinned widely, his golden eyes twinkling.  
"Awe. Cassie... I thought you liked my company... That's why we're collegues, right?"  
Cas stuck out his tongue at him and winked.  
"No. We work at the same firm, because it happened to have an opening for an accountant. That you work there has nothing to do with my decision to apply."  
The Winchesters chuckled at their banter, but Dean did sit up more.

"Hey, just to know, are you two staying the night again? Because Bobby will want me there bright and super early. Lots of cars will come in after this... including yours, Sam. Bobby texted me yesterday that he found her and towed her already. The cold killed your transmission. The fluid solidified."  
Sam cussed and ran a hand through his locks.  
"Damnit... Well, then I need to stay over. Could you drop me off at the firm, Dean?"  
Dean smirked, but nodded.  
"Sure thing, Sammy. You can catch up on your work. I'm dropping you off at 7.15."  
Gabriel swallowed hard, and he blinked his golden eyes, as if he only just realised he didn't have transportation either.  
With a hearty guffaw, Dean clapped him on the shoulder.  
"Yeah, sure. I'm dropping you off too. Just don't be late in getting ready. I'm leaving at 6.45."  
Hanging his head, Gabriel agreed.  
Just like that, the little extra holiday was over, and Cas couldn't help but feel a little sad about it, when they were all abed by ten.

 **Notes:**

 **Translation:**

 **Zand erover broer - water under the bridge, brother. (Litterally it says zand over it, but eh. Idiom, am I right?)**


	26. Chapter 26

Cas almost didn't know what to do with his vacation.  
Dean was often gone early, and back late, because a lot of cars had been damaged in the two days of perpetual snow.  
So, Cas went shopping.  
He bought new shirts, new black, silk boxers, new books, and a new earring. He hadn't bought one in ages, but this, this was calling out to him.  
It had a cuff, which was linked to the stud with a delicate, silver chain.  
He imagined Marley from reception seeing him with it, and nearly doubled over laughing.  
It was perfect!  
Wondering what Dean would think of it, had his mind go places Cas tried to avoid.

Shrugging his black coat on his shoulders, Cas made his way to the double doors of his office.  
He had a question for his brother, and he was curious whether Marley would indeed get her panties in a bunch if he strode up like this.  
He smirked, tapped his new earring and opened the door.  
"Ehm. Good... afternoon, sir... may I... help... youuu. Castiël? Is that you?!"  
Cas bit his lip before nodding.  
"I have time off, but I have to speak with my brother. It's pretty important."  
Marley let her eyes wander up and down, up and down Cas' form.  
"Y..Yes.. of course. I... I will call.. him?"

Cas smirked at her, then winked.  
"It's ok. I know where his office is. I'll wait for him there. Goodbye Marley."  
Marley stuttered a goodbye, as Cas turned and briskly walked over to where Gabriel had his office.  
Once inside, he sank onto the floor and laughed until his belly ached and his eyes teared up.  
"Cassie! Glad to see you laughing baby bro. What are you doing here?"  
Gabriel sat behind his desk, eyebrows nearly in his hairline.  
Cas rubbed his eyes and his mouth.  
"I just had to, Gabriel. I.. Heheh... I bought this new.. eheh... earring. And I just had to know how Marley would react!"

Gabriel threw his head back and laughed out loud.  
" **Finally**! I knew you were blood, brother. You're finally showing your Trickster side. What did she do? Did she call security?"  
Cas got up and parked his butt in a chair.  
"No, she recognised me. Had I decided to wear eyeliner, I think she might have."  
They spent a few minutes chuckling about Marley, but after a while, Gabriel tilted his head at Cas.  
"Any other reason you graced my day with your perky presence, Cassie bean?"  
Scowling, Cas looked back.

"Cassie bean? Really, Gabey?" he snarked, emphasis on the childish nickname he'd given Gabriel as a toddler.  
Gabriel just chuckled.  
"Yes, really. You look happy, bro. And that makes me happy. Hence the nickname."  
Cas studied his fingers and hummed.  
"Soooo. I noticed you have a slew of nicknames for Sam... does he make you happy too?" Cas only half teased.  
You could have used Gabriel to stop traffic, his cheeks were so red.  
"Shut up, Castiël! That's between Sam and I." he snapped irritably.  
Smirking deviously, Cas enjoyed the feeling of having one over on his big brother.  
"But there is a 'Sam and you'... is there?"  
Gabriel glared at him, then his attitude evaporated.  
"I'm not sure." he whispered.

That took Cas completely by surprise.  
If there was one thing Gabriel always was, in regards to partners, it was cocksure.  
Cas may have been slightly socially awkward since birth, but he knew his brother to the core, and this... this was big!  
"Aw, Gabriel... you really care about him, huh?"  
Gabriel blushed deep crimson, a rarety.  
"Cas... I... he... we..." He blew out a hard breath.  
"We made out, Cassie..." Gabriel admitted, blush now running up to his ears.

Cas gaped, not sure what to make of this.  
"What? When?" he punched out, stunned.  
Gabriel rubbed the back of his neck looking up sheepishly.  
"When you had run off, but Dean-o had calmed you down, but you stayed in your room?"  
Slowly, Cas nodded, waiting to see what would come next.  
"...Well... those muttonheads started squabbling too, and.. I tried to stop them, but suddenly that big Moose just grabs me, throws me over his shoulder and takes me upstairs."  
Widenening his eyes, Cas stared. That did **not** sound like the calm and collected Sam Winchester he had come to know.

"He.. Geez, Cassie... it was sooo hot! It played into all my kinks. But like I said: straight guy... So I put a stopper in it, even after he bodily throws me on my bed. I... he... God! Even thinking about it makes my blood run hot... before I could say anything, he crawls over and puts those delicious lips right on mine!"  
The spike of jealousy that ran through him, surprised Cas.  
 _'At least Gabriel got kissed by his crush...'_ his treacherous mind supplied. He shut it up and licked his lips.  
"So, you kissed... That's not making out, Gabriel."

Gabriel huffed a laugh.  
"Oh, Cassie. I know! But... when I returned pressure, he didn't stop. He didn't hesitate, he just licked his way in... Sue me, if I get into it then! I can only hold out so long..."  
He swallowed hard.  
"Cassie... we. Made. Out. Kissing, French, nibbling, biting his earlobe, hands under shirt, rolling hips, Made. Out. But... now..."  
His golden eyes saddened and his head dropped.  
Cas put a consoling hand on Gabriel's shoulder.  
"Now you're afraid it was just curiousity?"

Silent nodding.  
Cas shook his head, knowing exactly what had happened.  
"You didn't tell him, huh? That you like him."  
The blond hair swooshed from side to side slowly.  
"You idiot! He took the first step... and the next! I'd say it was more than just straight up curiousity. Talk to the guy... Ask him, no ifs or buts, ask him why he did all that."  
Gabriel looked up from under his bangs.

"I'm scared, Cassie... what if..."  
He couldn't even complete his sentence.  
 _'Hells Bells. He has it bad!'_ Cas thought surprised.  
"Then at least you will know. Either way, you will be certain."  
Gabriel sighed deeply.  
"Always the wise one, Cassie. Thanks bro."  
Smiling warmly, Cas ruffled the golden locks, despite the indignant squawk he got.  
"Any time, Gabey. Any time."


	27. Chapter 27

**A.N. I'm so sorry my unicorns! Real life grabbed me and insisted I pay attention... plus I'm writing for the 2018 pinefest on AO3... but here's the next chapter!**

The sedate routine Cas had been craving, did settle in and before he knew it, he was in his last week of his forced, but oh so welcome, vacation.  
"We should go somewhere, Cas." Dean suggested that Friday.  
"A movie or something. We never got to celebrate your vacation." he clarified.  
Rolling up his eyes in pretend thought, Cas was amazed how much their thinking was alike at times.  
He had heard something at the bar a week ago, and he had decided there and then that he would get Dean to come with him, to celebrate his time off properly.

"I'm not working at the bar tonight, but I heard there was a local cover band playing... we could go see them." he dropped his suggestion casually, but his heart was thumping.  
Dean sat to attention and demanded to know what the covers were.  
Once Cas had told him, he was buzzing with anticipation.  
To be honest, Cas was too, but not because of the band, although he knew them and they played pretty well.  
No, Cas was excited because it would basically be a kind of date. With Dean. Even though they were just friends and housemates, it still felt that way.

So, when the time was there to get ready, Cas took a little time extra, to make sure he looked ok. His tighter, black jeans, which Gabriel had told him made his butt look delectable, a not too ratty Metallica shirt, his ring, earrings, and his leather wrist cuffs. He glanced at his reflection in the full sized mirror on his closet. He looked... ok. Not too sexy, but it wasn't a real date. He nodded. No eyeliner. He found he was too old for it anyway. Teens and tweens can get away with it, but on a guy his age... it would be a bit sad.  
He smirked at his reflection and turned on his heels to go downstairs.

Dean was waiting and they pulled on their coats, Cas of course opting for his all time favorite black one.  
"Lookin' good there, bud. You ready to go?" Dean asked in that gruff voice.  
That voice uttering the veiled compliment, made Cas' cheeks glow slightly.  
To hide his reaction, Cas asked if they could take Baby. He just loved to hear her purr.  
"You afraid your Mark 5 will stall?" Dean chuckled, but he did grab his keys.  
Not dignifying that with an answer, Cas glared at him, arms crossed.

The grin slid off Dean's face and he averted his eyes a bit.  
"Just get your ass to my Baby... she'll match your colourscheme..." he said a bit breathless.  
Worried he'd scared Dean, Cas walked off towards the drive, where Dean had parked his car earlier on.  
When he noticed Dean was hanging back, he looked over his shoulder, eyebrow raised.  
"Comin'!" Dean called out and all but ran to the car.  
Cas shook his head and got in, a small smile on his face as the door creaked shut.

Once they got at the bar, they were earlier than expected, and Cas couldn't help but lend Samandriël a hand.  
When he came to the main area, Dean was backstage, waving him over.  
"Cas! C'mover here!" he called out, his hand on the shoulder of a scrawny looking man, with a mullet.  
Stomping down his spiking jealousy, Cas sauntered over.  
He greeted the guy in the manner he usually reserved for encounters with people he was slightly wary of.  
Kindly, but without real warmth.

Dean didn't seem to notice, and smiled warmly, before taking care of the introductions.  
"Ash, Cas. Cas, this is my old pal Ash."  
Old pal... that didn't sound too sexual or romantic.  
Cas relaxed a bit and even shook the guy's hand.  
Even though he had no claim on Dean whatsoever, he still had that ugly, green monster clawing up his insides.

Ash raised his eyebrows and his grey eyes flicked all over Cas.  
"Housemate? Like..." he smirked, and Cas could hear the innuendo slot in place.  
Even though he wished more than anything that it was justified, Cas wanted to spare Dean the gossip.  
"Like he pays me rent and we share my house. It is too big and pricey to live alone." he retorted blandly, as if there never was any innuendo.

Dean's smirk was almost proud when he told Ash how Cas could stop innuendo before it was even started.  
Ash looked part impressed, part calculating as he took Cas in a second time.  
Then, waving at the assembled hodgepodge of equipment, he grinned.  
"Dudes, you're right on time. Our roadies have not shown..."  
Cas felt his mouth quirk up, as Dean wondered if they weren't just simply stoned.  
At the mention of one Gordon, Cas' mind shifted gear and provided one explaination for his absence.

"Dean... wasn't there a Gordon at the Salvage?" he queried carefully.  
Dean blanched slightly, realising what Cas was hinting at.  
He relayed the guy's name to Ash, asking if that was the one he had meant.  
Ash looked only slightly worried, and when he commented on this Gordon glueing his leg to a car tyre, Cas wondered why Mr. Singer kept him employed..  
Dean made light of the whole glueing incident, but when the fractured hand was mentioned, Cas saw Ash pale. It seemed he was really concerned.  
"Holy Hellballs. Well, then he ain't showing anytime soon, huh?"

He was now looking over both Cas and Dean, and apparently Dean saw him coming, because even before Ash asked, he was grabbing one of the amplifiers.  
Cas followed suit, telling Ash he was glad to help.  
Ash waved it off, telling him to call him just Ash, no mr.  
Dean chuckled and Cas loved seeing him this relaxed.  
Meeting his old friends, because it seemed other band members were old pals too, helped Dean become more and more his old self.

Most of the band's equipment was in place, and Cas sat down, back against the last amp-speaker he had hooked up.  
Dean was bantering with Viktor, and Cas feasted his eyes on how his biceps were bulging, trembling slightly, as Dean placed a top amp on another speaker.  
He'd tied his green plaid around his hips, and Cas' eyes were glued on the muscles rolling beneath the tight, black t-shirt.  
This was shaping up to be a great night.

Dean caught his glances and smiled at him, staring right back.  
Suddenly, his face clouded over.  
A worried frown forming, Cas asked what was wrong, but Dean waved it off, saying it was just a dark thought and he'd pushed it out already.  
Not convinced, but determined to not ruin the evening, Cas feigned acceptance.  
Dean winked and smiled, but Cas could see in his eyes that is wasn't gone yet.  
When Dean turned around, Cas allowed his worried frown to deepen again.  
Whatever was eating Dean, he hoped it was either minor, or something he could help with.  
He'd be damned if he let Lisa, or something concerning her, dampen their fun.


	28. Chapter 28

Cas was slightly worried.  
Dean was drinking pretty heavily, and Cas couldn't tell whether it was sociable, or if the thought that had clouded Dean's face a few hours back, was to blame.  
Now, Dean was all but slumped at the bar, a whiskey straight up in front of him.  
His eyes were glazed, his cheeks rosy.  
Deciding he had to step in, Cas made his way over.  
"Dean..." he started, but the bright, sozzled smile he received threw his mind back to that damned dream.  
"Yeah? What's on your mind, Honeybee?" Dean mumbled, causing Cas' blood to rush to his cheeks. Dean had only given him a generic nickname, never anything this cute and sweet...  
Was this the liquor talking, or his heart?  
Cas opted to dismiss these thoughts until he was alone. They still needed to get home safely.

He tried again.  
"Dean, you're plastered. Hand me the keys. I'll drive us home."  
Dean started to pout and grabbed onto his keys like they were made of gold.  
"Nuh-uh. My Baby... you're not driving her..." he stubbornly groused.  
Cas repressed the urge to roll his eyes. It was just like handeling a drunk Gabriel.  
So, he stonefaced, and dropped all emotions behind a wall.  
"Fine by me. But neither are you. So, shall we camp out behind the stage then?" he offered.

Samandriël caught that and he bit his lip, big, blue eyes worried.  
"Castiël, you are like my big brother, but you know I can't let you do that." he interjected.  
Cas smiled at him. It wasn't his fault he rolled into this conversation without knowing exactly what was going on.  
"I know, Samandriël. Don't worry. It's just to press my point home, Dean is **not** allowed to drive." he explained to his co-worker.  
Dean clutched his keys tighter and his eyes hardened as he glared at Samandriël.  
"Yeah... butt out, Salmon... Simmin... Alfie. My Cas is bein' str'ckt to me..." he all but growled, and it sent inapropriate shivers through Cas.  
That sounded positively posessive. **My** Cas. But he couldn't assume it meant something. If he did, and Dean didn't mean anything, it would hurt too much.

Samandriël smiled, but expressed his worry that Cas' heart might get hurt.  
It was sweet. Cas knew the kid had a big heart too and he was more astute than he might know.  
But there was nothing between Dean and him... to his grief.  
Keeping up his mask of concerned friend, Cas explained to Samandriël that he just needed to get Dean home.  
Somehow, miraculously, Dean suddenly gave in. He slid Cas the keys with a big sigh.  
"Here, Cas. You get us home. But not a scr'tch, you gomme?"  
That was more like Dean. Make sure Baby was safe...  
Making a big show of carefully taking the keys, Cas started planning ahead.  
How to get Dean in his jacket, how to get him in the car, a route home where, if and when Dean would be sick, they could pull over any time to assure he didn't vomit in the car...  
He plastered a smile on and sweetly said, like talking to a toddler who finally gives up the pair of scissors: "Thank you, Dean. I will take excellent care of your Baby. Come on, let us go home."

He got Dean to worm his arms in his leather jacket, and even to sit shotgun in his own car.  
After a bit, he noticed Dean staring at his hands on the steeringwheel.  
Half expecting a reprimand that Baby should be treated in such and such way, he shot a longer glance at Dean's face.  
Dean didn't react.  
He stared at Cas' hands and licked his lips, not noticing Cas' glance.  
His cheeks were a bit flushed and he was biting his lip.  
Soft moans escaped him, involuntary it seemed.  
Worried he would have to stop and let Dean empty his stomach, Cas glanced over again.

"Dean, are you ok? Do you feel sick?" he asked urgently.  
Dean's head snapped up, finally looking at Cas' face.  
His head sagged sideways a bit, but he managed a sentence.  
"Whu? No. 'M fine. Bit woozy, but I c'n hold m' lickr just fine."  
That had yet to be proven. If Cas could get him home without ruining Baby's upholstery, he would concede to that.  
Another low moan escaped Dean, and Cas had to remember they weren't sexual.  
Cas commented on the moans, and Dean ducked his head, mumbling about a wandering mind.  
' _REALLY..._ _Where_ _would_ _that_ _have_ _wandered_ _to_ _then?'_ Cas wondered to himself, willing his mind to wholesome answers.

Several times after the first, Cas caught Dean staring, cheeks flushed, lips parted slightly.  
To make things worse, he was letting out quiet little moans, that slithered down Cas' spine and burried themselves in his gut.  
Just as soon as Dean noticed he was staring, his mouth would shut with a snap, and he would quickly gaze out the window for a bit.  
Inevitably, his eyes would stray back and he would zone out again.  
Cas gulped around a bonedry throat.  
It was so sexy. It shouldn't be, but it was.

He parked Baby neatly in her spot, then manhandled a drunken Dean out of the car.  
For his own sake, Cas ignored the fact that Dean was delicioulsly pressed against him.  
All the 'what-if's and 'could-have-been's got shoved to the back of his mind.  
First things first, Dean needed to get in the house safely. Preferably to his bed.  
He'd done this a zillion times with Gabriel, so he got them inside safe and sound, and out of his shoes and jacket.  
The fond "Hey, Cas?" wasn't unexpected either. Gabriel always started waxing poetic about how great a brother he was, and, depending on Gabriel's mood, it would be how a manipulative troll like him didn't deserve a brother as great as Castiël, or how AWESOME a big brother Gabriel himself was.  
So, awaiting a sign as to what mood Dean was in, Cas' neutral answer was slightly exasperated.  
"Yes Dean, what is it?"

Dean was swaying a bit and he was trying, and subsequently failing, to put one hand in the pocket of his tight fitting jeans. It was adorable!  
"You're awesome..." Dean said, eyes sparkling.  
He leant over dangerously, so Cas grabbed his shoulders and steadied him.  
Warmth filled Cas at the offhand remark.  
"Thank you, Dean. That's nice to hear." he replied with a smile.  
Dean was getting heavier against his hands, leaning in closer.  
Dean let his head flop to the side, green eyes studying him.

Caught in those forrest green eyes with the sunshine flecks, Cas heard Dean breathe his name.  
He couldn't quite find words, so he just hummed in question.  
Dean's hand slid up Cas' neck, and Cas forgot how to breathe. He was so **close** now. Cas could just lean over and...  
Dean's lips parted with a soft click, drawing Cas' eyes to them.  
Dean pulled closer still, and his next words were barely a whisper.  
"C'n I keep you?"

Before Cas could think of anything to answer, Dean pressed his mouth on Cas'.  
Surprise jolted through Cas, his heart jackrabbiting.  
But oh... oh it was so **good**!  
Cas relaxed and a soft moan escaped him while Dean deepened the kiss.  
This was all Cas could ever want.  
Dean's lips were warm, soft and a bit chapped. And it was Heaven.  
Cas returned the kiss, pressing back to try and taste more.  
All he could taste now was whiskey, and he wanted to taste Dean!  
Dean, who had been drinking excessively... who didn't know what he was doing. Who might not even want this if he was sober... DAMNIT! DAMN, DAMN, DOUBLE DAMN!


	29. Chapter 29

**A.N. Due to the FFN rules on NSFW writing, I had to edit this chapter and the next together. On Ao3 the fic is in original state.**

Cursing his weak resolve, Cas started pulling back.  
With a soft whine, Dean held on tighter.  
Cas' heart nearly broke, but he had to! Dean would thank him once he was sobered up.  
"Damnit, Dean... you're drunk. I can't do this." Cas growled low, trying to pry Dean's hands from his neck.  
That made Dean hold on tighter, positively vice like.  
"No! Cas... I want this... really I do." he blurted out.  
Cas doubted that, because, why would he? Why would Dean want to kiss him? He never...  
"I do, Cas... honest. I drank so much b'cs... 'Cause I wanted this so bad. But I can't have it." Dean dropped his gaze, and his voice trailed off.

Hope blossomed in Cas' chest, warm and bright.  
Could it be they had been dancing around eachother all this time?  
He took Dean by the chin and lifted his head up until he could look into those green eyes and see the truth there.  
"Is this true? You want to kiss me?" he asked harshly.  
He knew he was being demanding, but damnit! He **needed** to know.  
Dean flushed and silently nodded his head.

Cas groaned loudly and felt his restraint splinter into a million fractals.  
He dove back in and kissed Dean like no tomorrow, letting his tongue slide over that maddening luscious bottom lip.  
With a silent gasp, Dean let him in, giving Cas instant access to Heaven again.  
Under the prominent whiskey taste, Cas could taste something wholly boner enducing. Something pure Dean.  
It slid down his throat to his stomach, and lower...  
They needed a better spot to be doing this!

Slowly, he manouvred them towards the sofa.  
Before they went any further than these hot, hot kisses, Cas wanted to know if this was all true.  
He pulled back, panting.  
"Dean..." he tried to start the conversation, but Dean looked up at him, eyes hooded, lips swollen and kiss slick, and Cas lost all train of thought.  
"Yeah, H'neybee?" Dean answered, voice rougher than ever, pure aural sex.  
He used that new nickname, and to hear it now, whilst they were making out like this, Cas felt a posessive urge take over.

He pressed Dean downward on the couch, while pressing their mouths together.  
It shouldn't be so hot, the way Dean easily complied, but it was.  
Stradling Dean's hips, Cas was suddenly reminded of that dream... the one where they had made out on the sofa.  
Determined to make the dream reality, Cas licked his lips as he feasted his eyes on the way Dean lay there, spread out for him to explore.  
"Last time this happened, I was dreaming, because when I woke up, I was in my bed... alone. Now I'm most definitely awake... Dean... take off your shirt." Cas growled.

Cas dropped his head to Dean's hip and exhaled. This could only get more amazing if they could end up...  
Dean moved, his eyes half closed and sated.  
"Cas... C'mere... wanna hold you..." he slurred.  
Oh heck yeah! That was exactly what Cas wanted too.  
He chuckled low and crawled up to rest his head on Dean's chest, arm around his midriff.  
Dean hummed sleepily and snuggled down, arms wrapping Cas in a warm embrace.  
"Yeah... That's it. Love you, Cas..." he murmured, obviously slipping off to sleep.  
Cas gasped. He... he what? So easy?  
Cas pressed a kiss to the skin under his cheeks. Warmth blossomed around his heart, and he knew right then and there, that Dean was **it** for him.  
"Love you too, Dean. So, so much..." he whispered back, happily allowing sleep to take him too.


	30. Chapter 30

He was decidedly **cold**. Not wanting to truely wake up, Cas started analysing.  
His front was pretty warm, as was a strip of his torso, where something lay on top of him.  
But his legs, his arms and definitely his butt, were darn cold.  
With a soft exhale, he opened his eyes.  
Oh, right. They hadn't taken a blanket or something after...  
He stretched and loved the way Dean cuddled him closer. His bodyheat did remind Cas that they were naked, on the couch.

He took a few minutes to take in the amazing view of a sleeping Dean. He was even more stunning with the long lashes like down on his sleep warm, blushing cheeks.  
Almost regretting it, Cas stroked Dean's hair.  
"Dean... Dean, wake up."  
Dean scrunged up his nose and growled low, looking like a cute little bearcub that got disturbed.  
"Oh my... you're an angry sleeper, aren't you? Like a bear." he teased, pushing himself into a sitting position, aware angry bears might retaliate.  
Dean didn't do anything but grope around a bit, searching a blanket.  
"Nmhm. Don' wanna. Gimme back." he grumbled, making Cas chuckle.  
It seemed Dean wasn't fully awake yet.

Still, the air was cooling him down, and he really wanted to get back to sleep, only now in his bed.  
"I know, Dean, but I'm getting cold. We should take this upstairs." he offered.  
Those forrest green eyes flashed open, blinked and roamed over Cas' naked body, blush deepening.  
"Oh... oh! Right... we went there, didn't we?" Dean said, a bit sheepishly.  
Chuckling, Cas decided to pick up their clothes.  
"Yes, we did." he answered, when a thought hit him, and chilled him to the bone.  
What if Dean didn't want more than this?  
Panicked, he locked eyes with Dean.  
"Do you want to continue?"

Those green eyes looked a bit spooked, but what Dean said, wasn't what Cas expected.  
"Did... did I say something? Y' know... after?" Dean asked shyly, looking up from under his lashes.  
It was so adorable, Cas had to sit down.  
He tilted his head at the question, the answer popping up.  
"You mean that point where you said you loved me?"  
Oh, Cas hoped with all his heart Dean wouldn't revoke that.  
"Ok... that was... ok. You ok with that? Because I... I do, y' know... love you..." Dean stammered.

Heart glowing, Cas knew he was done for.  
Dean was just too sweet.  
He ruffled the sandy hair with an affectionate smile.  
Realising Dean might not have heard what Cas had answered, he replied.  
"Yes. I know, Dean. I love you too. I told you, but you might have missed that, on account of you falling asleep."  
A grin spread across Dean's face and he admitted that he had heard, but chalked it up to being wishful thinking.  
Cas did the only thing he could think of.  
He placed a soft, tender kiss on those delicious lips and assured Dean that it was real.  
He was decidedly cold by now, plus the goosebumps on Dean's arms told him that Dean wasn't much better off.  
He offered to go to bed, to which Dean sprang into action and grabbed the last of their clothes.

Climbing up the stairs, Cas was shivering with both chills and exitement.  
He could sense Dean climbing up behind him, making his heart beat just that bit faster.  
They'd never said a word on where either of them would go, but he hoped, deep down, Dean would like to continue their cuddles.  
Cas turned into his bedroom, hyper aware of where Dean was.  
When Dean followed him, he nearly swooned.  
How did they get to this? It was all so natural, so easy.  
They both slid into his bed, and Dean drew him close.  
This was just exquisite. Even though Dean's skin was cold, his core warmth bled through rapidly, and it got very comfortable under the blue covers.

After a bit, Dean let out a trembling sigh.  
Worried, Cas petted his head softly.  
"Are you ok, Dean?" he whispered, scared Dean would bolt for some reason.  
"Yeah... it's just that I haven't cuddled like this in ages... years actually." came the soft reply.  
That meant that Lisa hadn't allowed him cuddles, even after... That was just cruel to someone as touch-affectionate as Dean.  
Cas cuddled him tighter, trying to impress on Dean that he loved cuddles too.  
"That's fine by me, Dean. I'm a cuddlebuddle myself." he explained.  
Dean heaved another big sigh, this one more content than the other, and snuggled down more.  
Within minutes he was asleep, breath making little puffs over Cas' chest.  
Cas stayed awake a bit longer, just taking in the sight of a sleeping Dean Winchester.


	31. Chapter 31

Something moved under his cheek, and a soft breathing told him it was someone, instead of something. Last night came back to his mind, and he was intensely happy.  
Dean moved, tensing ever so slightly, meaning he was waking up. That was not what Cas wanted.  
"Mmmmmm. Dean... tell me I don't have to get up." Cas groused against Dean's warm chest.  
He could feel Dean move, tense up and take a deep, deep breath.  
Was he regretting their night together?  
"Dean? Are you allright?" Cas wavered, scared his world would crash.  
Dean stroked his hand through Cas' hair, and Cas closed his eyes in delight.  
"Mmm. I'm ok, Cas. I could get used to waking up like this." Dean rumbled low.  
That meant he wanted this. He didn't regret anything.

Happy enough to burst, Cas cuddled closer and slung an arm over that tanned chest.  
Dean hummed low and rubbed Cas' arm tenderly. It was pure bliss.  
When Dean called his name softly, he merely hummed, too drowsy to react more.  
"You wanna tell me about the wings?"  
Cas' heart stopped. The wings... the tattoos he'd gotten because of the very man in his arms.  
How would Dean react? Cas decided he'd rather not know right now.  
He looked up and locked eyes with Dean.  
"No... not quite yet." he admitted.  
That was a pout if he ever saw one, and it was damned cute.

Dean kept stroking Cas' arm, fingers tickling over the inked feathers.  
After a while Dean sighed and Cas could guess what was coming.  
"Why not?"  
And there it was. Loath to admit it, Cas knew he would tell, one way or another.  
He'd admit another truth to prevent telling for a bit longer.  
"Because you might get angry with me, and I am way too happy right now." Cas admitted on another sigh.  
Dean stiffened, then recommenced stroking.  
"Why would I get angry? This happened way before we ever met."  
Cas resignedly closed his eyes again.

"No it didn't." he sighed, accepting the inevitable.  
Cas could feel Dean straining to look closer at the tattoo.  
"Cas, you're fucking with me, right? That ink is at least a decade old..."  
Dean sounded perplexed.  
Reluctant to answer, Cas pressed his face in the crook of Dean's neck.  
The musky, earthy scent calmed him down a bit and he nodded.  
"Sixteen years old." he finally admitted, but not looking up.  
Dean distanced himself a bit and chucked a finger under Cas' chin, forcing him to look at him.

"Honeybee... what? Then how is it after we met? I'd remember you, even if we only met at... what would that be? Work? Or before that... Highschool?"  
Unable to use his voice, Cas nodded.  
He couldn't. He simply couldn't tell Dean. He wouldn't want to be someone's Hero. He was too modest.  
Dean stared him down, a determined set to his jaw.  
"Castiël Novak. I would remember those eyes. I'm sure of it."  
Cas stubbornly stared back, his jaw set too.  
He wouldn't...

"Please, Cas... please? I know I wasn't all that at highschool, even if I thought I was... Did I do something to hurt you?"  
That stung! To think he thought so low of himself.  
"Don't. Don't say that about yourself! You didn't hurt me. Just the opposite. You gave me solace when I was hurt... Be proud of who you are, because you're the only you there is." His voice dropped to near inaudible by the end of it, but Dean caught it and Cas heard the gulp.  
Dean rubbed the inked feathers in a distracted way.  
"That was you? The kid in PE kit, hiding under the stairs?"  
He remembered... Cas looked up at him, knot tying in his stomach.

"Angel... no... don't. I always wondered if you were ok. Dad pulled Sammy and me from school a week later and we moved to Iowa, so I never heard whether you'd further been bullied or not."  
He had wondered about Cas? Really? Then he deserved to know everything.  
Staring blankly ahead, Cas started to talk.  
"Bartholomew tried to corner me two weeks later... I just lost it. I was so scared, but your words came to my mind and I swung. Turned out dear old Bart had a glass jaw. He went down like a poled ox. No-one dared touch me after that."  
He proudly stared Dean in the eyes as he kept talking about how he became his own and stuck up for bullied people, until he left college.  
Dean looked proud of him too, and it warmed him to the core.

It seemed Dean was satisfied with Cas' story, because he changed the subject to Cas' job, and however did he go corporate?  
Cas explained how his brother had roped him in, forcing him to change his looks, because his clients would not accept him if he went to work in his metalhead attire.  
Dean chuckled at that.  
"Marley would have kittens! She'd have security on you so fast, it'd make your head spin." he stated.  
Remembering the day he'd gone to Nomed in his 'leissure' clothes, Cas burst out laughing.  
"Yes, she would."

They talked some more about Cas' tattoos, and eachother, when Dean suddenly chuckled.  
He'd just told Cas he was an angel, just like Gabriel said, and Cas failed to see the humour in that sweet remark.  
"Does that make you my guardian angel? Keeping me safe and stuff?" Dean asked lightly.  
Mind on that December night, Cas smiled against Dean's neck.  
"I took that task on once, and it worked out ok, so why not?"  
When Dean pulled back a little, and frowned, Cas bit his cheek.  
Damn his mouth! It never seemed to know when to stay shut.  
"If I tell you, can we take a shower after? I need to wake up and shut my mouth." Cas groused.  
That got him a slow nod and the assurance that it was the last story.  
Latching on to a comment Dean made about not noticing Cas around, Cas tried to avoid the subject, but Dean caught on.

"C'mon, Cas. Tell me how you took on being my guardian angel... don't say it was before when I think we met again. I'm pretty sure my childhood was not wrought with dangerous situations." Dean coaxed.  
Cas had to laugh at that. Every childhood was, but most got resolved before turning into a threat.  
He wanted to say something like that, but thought better of it. Best bite the proverbial bullet.  
"No. It was just last December. I noticed how you were different, during your song. Not as animated. Your smile was a mask, not shining like it's supposed to. So, I thought it prudent to make sure you got home ok. I was about to leave, when you reappeared, duffelbag around your shoulders. When you walked off, you seemed so..."  
Dean cut in, finishing the sentence perfectly.  
"...lost and heartbroken. You called it in. You got Jody to pick me up."

Remembering how scared he had been that night, how afraid Dean might hurt himself, Cas ducked against Dean's torso, whispering "Yes."  
Dean picked up on his distress, because his voice was breaking over his next sentence.  
"Oh, Cas. I wasn't about to kill myself. Honestly I wasn't."  
Blinking away his tears, Cas looked up at those green eyes.  
"Dean, you left home. You were obviously running away, in a blizzard." he objected.  
Dean kissed him on the brow and explained how it was all planned, except for the snow, and how he'd known about Lisa's... promicuous ways, since May.

Looking down at his hand on Dean's chest, Cas realised something.  
May, but Lisa had told everyone about her baby in October... Dean seemed pretty sure it wasn't his, though...  
"But... the baby? How... how do you know it's not yours... and why did you even... if.."  
Yeah, he wasn't making sense there.  
Dean ruffled his hair lovingly and licked his lips in thought.  
"I'm very sure it is not mine. Not 100%, but I seem to be infertile or something, because we tried for ages, before... Well. And after? I could hardly stand having her touch me, but to keep the peace, I sometimes did put out. I tried to keep it risk free, you know. Blowjob, fingers..."  
The mental images made Cas cringe.  
EW...

Dean seemed to notice, because he tightened his hold slightly and apologised.  
Cas kissed his chest sweetly.  
"I could smite her ass for hurting you so deeply."  
Dean chuckled without mirth.  
"She didn't, babe. She didn't."  
Cas looked up at him, wondering who he was trying to kid.

"Dean, you can't say her name. You walked off into a blizzard for fuck's sake! The bitch hurt you, and I can't ever undo that."  
A finger got chucked under his chin and Dean's soft, warm lips shut him up.  
"Cas... baby, Honeybee, angel... You don't have to... you're soothing the pain by just being you. Don't go there. Come... let's shower!"  
And that right there, that made him all warm and tingly inside.  
He smiled and nodded.


	32. Chapter 32

**A.N. Again edited this to fit the rules of FFN.**

Their shower started sweet and cozy, but soon turned hotter, and hotter, until they were both flopped against the side of the tub, stickier and more exhausted than when they started.  
Cas didn't mind one bit.  
He had just had one of the most intense sessions of showersex ever.  
Dean trembled as he sank next to him.  
For his first time topping a male, he'd done wonderful. Cas still had trouble seeing straight.  
He huffed out a puff of breath, and suggested they'd shower again, before thanking Dean.  
That earned him a loving hug and a soft kiss just under his ear.

That second shower took a while.  
They both had a serious case of coltlegs, and neither had plans in the imediate future.  
So they took it slow, and after that, they went and had brunch. It really was getting too late to be breakfast.  
They kept touching. Soft strokes, sweet kisses, little pats and brushes. It was amazing.  
None of Cas' previous partners had done this kind of thing.

They were doing the dishes, still touching as often as they could, when Cas' phone received a message.  
He'd just pinched Dean in the butt, in retaliation for a light slap Dean had given his, and the amused grin playing around those sweet lips, had Cas wanting to ignore his phone.  
But he did have to work later on, and it could be a request to come in early, so he really couldn't.  
He opened his message app and chuckled.  
Seeing the curious look in those green eyes, he showed his phone to Dean.

Received 10.25 am Gabriel:   
Dude!   
What happened to you?   
I was at the bar yesterday, and Alfie told me you left already.   
At TEN THIRTY?! Are you ill? Or injured?   
Let dear old Dean-o give you chickensoup if you're ill, and let him kiss your boo-boo if you're injured.   
Your loving big bro.

The grin that spread over Dean's face while he was reading, was infectuous.  
"Hmmmm." he crooned. "Ohhh. Does that mean you hurt your..."  
Cas slapped his biceps playfully.  
"Dean Winchester, you have got a dirty mind." he chided with twinkling eyes.  
Dean chuckled, then kissed him on the mouth.  
"They do say that it's a joy forever..." he quipped, before winking.

Cas ignored him, trying to concentrate on his answer. With how sexy Dean was being, it was hard to formulate sentences.  
Finally, he hit sent and put the phone back on the bar.  
"There. Now, let's get to work... I have to leave for the bar at twelve fifteen." he stated, going for seriousness.  
Dean wasn't having any of it and he roped Cas in with the teatowel.  
Cas ended up plastered against Dean's chest while Dean rumbled in his ear.  
"Mmmm. Then we got plenty of time, hotshot."

The fact that he was caught, restrained from moving freely, had fire running through his veins again.  
When Dean curled his tongue around the lobe of his ear, teeth catching slightly on the earrings, his knees nearly buckled and he shivered.  
"Dean..." he gasped. "Dishes... we can... play... later."  
Oh how he would love to play more with his new boyfriend...  
Maybe take that teatowel with him, see what Dean would do with that.  
Dean mock-pouted and called him a spoilsport.  
He didn't know the half of it!

Once the dishes were done, Cas made his way upstairs very swiftly.  
Grumbling to himself, Cas picked out his bar outfit.  
Suddenly, he got pulled away and pushed against the wall, his wrists trapped in Dean's hands.  
Dean pressed up against him deliciously and the half-hardon quickly filled further.

Dean kissed him long, hard and deeply, until they both had to gasp for air when he finally let go.  
Halfheartedly, Cas tried to free his wrists. "Dean..."  
Dean pressed in even closer.  
"Nuh-uh angel... You promised we would play..." he mumbled against Cas' neck, nibbling softly.  
Oh God! His stomach tensed up wonderfuly and that heat began building up again, making him groan at the thought.  
"Dean... I... you.. uhn." Cas managed to punch out.  
' _Eloquent, Novak. Very deep.'_

Dean licked up his neck, and Cas had trouble breathing. It was so hot!  
"You looked so adorably sexy, fully concentrated on typing that message. I got a boner just watching your face." Dean admitted low, flicking his tongue over that sensitive spot just below Cas' ear.  
Cas moaned and rolled his head back. It felt so heavy with lust.  
Dean nuzzled that same spot with his nose, while he kept placing little smooches on the stretch of neck below it.  
Cas tried again.  
"D..Dean... you... uhnn... you play dirty." he ground out.

Dean chuckled low, then gently took the lobe with silver earrings between his teeth and pulled slightly.  
Cas gasped and bucked his hips.  
"I know... ain't it fun, angel?" Dean whispered in his ear.  
"Yes." Cas answered, breathless.

When Dean bit down lightly on the crook of his neck, Cas felt on fire.  
"AH! Dean!" he cried out. Dean pulled back and chastely pecked him a little kiss on the cheek.  
"Good. Now get dressed." he said, turning to walk out of the room, taking the heat with him.  
Cas gaped, anger replacing the lust rapidly, even if he was still panting.  
"Dean Winchester! You utter, utter... assbutt!" he called out, grabbing a ball of socks from the dresser.  
Dean laughed, he **laughed** , and Cas hurled the socks at his head.  
"Love you too, angel." Dean sing-songed and ducked, so the socks missed target.

Steaming even worse than before, Cas put on his clothes with jerky, irritated moves.

When he came down the stairs, he found Dean, innocently reading a book, lounging sexily on the sofa.  
Cas glared at Dean, who blinked up and asked him "what?"  
Cas nearly growled, but he just took that damned book away.  
"Hey... I was reading that." Dean groused, but when his eyes caught Cas', they grew wide and darkened.

"You've made me angry, Dean. You might not like me angry." Cas growled.  
Dean tensed, his eyes getting wider, and a shiver rolled through him.  
Cas changed his stance slightly, so now he loomed over Dean, who only looked more and more aroused.  
"Hm. What to do with you...You left me with a situation, Dean."  
Cas pointed at where his erection was straining against his zipper.  
"I cannot go to work with this." he elaborated, glaring harder at Dean, who visibly gulped.  
"Solve this, Dean. Or I will be very displeased."


	33. Chapter 33

**More editing...**

Cas looked at Dean's face, only to find it completely slack, mouth opened a bit.  
"Dean? Sweetheart? Dean?!"  
Panic rushed through him, as he fumbled with Dean's limp arm to try and find a pulse.  
Had he inadvertedly killed his love?  
A slow, but steady throbbing told him no, Dean was out cold, but alive still.  
Rubbing his arms, Cas tried to wake him up.  
"Dean... Dean... wake up, please... Dean." he plead, still scared something big was wrong.  
Dean hummed, scrunging up his nose.  
"C's?" he mumbled, and Cas could feel the worry dissipate.

"Oh thank the stars! You're ok... you scared me, Dean. You passed out on me." Cas semi scolded.  
Dean tried to get up, but his body was obviously still uncooperative.  
"Whoa. 'S never happ'ned b'fore. Heh... you made me pass out... Heh."  
Giving in to his desire, Cas threw himself on Dean, hugging him tightly.  
"Not funny, Dean. I was afraid I'd hurt you..."  
Dean's eyes were starting to focus more, getting more coherent.  
"I'm cool, Cas. Honestly..."

Like a kitten, Cas rubbed his head against Dean. His treacherous mind supplying him with the information that he needed to get going, or be late for his shift, Cas got to his feet, a smile forming.  
"What did I do to deserve you, Dean Winchester?" Cas asked on another sigh.  
Dean bent forward and pressed a sweet little kiss to Cas' belly, causing butterflies to erupt under his skin.  
"Dunno. If you can tell me what I did to deserve you, Castiël Novak, my angel of the dark wings." Dean countered, making the butterflies flutter madly.  
He got the warm quilt from the sidetable, tucked Dean in on the sofa and told him to drink and sleep properly, and that they'd discuss things later.

Dean snuggled down with a sweet smile, and his voice was low when he thanked Cas.  
That was not Cas' intention.  
"Anything for you, my Dean. I am sorry to have to love and leave, but my double shift at the bar starts in fifteen minutes. When I get home, I will give you a massage, ok?"  
Dean looked up at him with big, adoring, green eyes.

"You're too good for me, Cas." he all but whispered, adoration audible in his words too.  
Cas hummed and kissed him sweetly.  
"No. You are just perfect. Love you."  
"Love you too, angel. Have a good shift."  
Damnit! Curse his shift! He really needed to go.  
Cas kissed him again and left, reluctantly, but he silently swore he'd make it up to Dean.

All through his shift, Cas sent little text messages to Dean, telling him he loved him, and that he was missing him. That he wanted his shift done, so they could cuddle, kiss and snuggle under the covers, or that he wanted to be home and give Dean that massage he'd promised.  
He secretively kept his phone under the bar, and texted as soon as he saw the chance.  
He was distracted the whole time, and felt a bit guilty about it, but he needed to let Dean know he was loved.

"What happened to you, Castiël?" Samandriël asked, with a twinkle on his youthful eyes.  
Frowning, Cas scanned himself, trying to find something askew in his clothing, or a smudge on his face.  
Samandriël chuckled and shook his head.  
"No, Castiël, it's nothing like that. You are perky and happy, if a little distracted. Did you meet someone?"  
A blush crept up Cas' cheeks as he served the burly, scruffy bearded man with a Cajun accent.  
"Actually, yes... Remember I had to take Dean home, because he was drunk, last friday?"  
The burly man straightened up a bit, attention on what Cas was saying.

"Yes, you threatened to camp out behind the stage... and he acted really jealous when you talked to me... Are you saying you... and him?" Samandriël asked, eyes excitedly sparkling.  
Cas couldn't stop the grin if he wanted to.  
"Yes. We got home, and we kissed. He confessed to me that he had wanted to do so for ages."  
Samandriël clapped him on the shoulder.  
"Congratulations! I hope you guys stay together forever. You two look so good together!"  
The burly man was smiling in his scruff, then cleared his throat.  
"'Scuse me... hope you don't mind me butting in, but... is this Dean perchance a tall guy, green eyes and sandy hair?" he asked with a voice like warm, red wine.

Cas frowned at him, whilst an ugly jealousy monster clawed up his insides.  
"Yes, why?"  
The man grinned, his teeth a flash of white in the dark scruff.  
"Don't worry, brother. I ain't swingin' that way. Just that I knew a Dean once, but his lyin', cheatin' bitch girlfriend drove a wedge between us. If it's your Dean, I'm happy he got rid of her. I just wish he'd called me after he did."  
Cas tasted something sour in the back of his mouth.

"You mean Lisa? Yes, he left her, just before last Christmas. Did she really do that?"  
The man sighed sadly and nodded, holding out his hand.  
"Benny Lafitte, former buddy of one Dean Winchester. And yeah, the bitch played a mean game. She seperated him from next to everybody that cared for him."

Cas blanched. That no-good excuse for a human being! His poor Dean. Not only did she not get him in the slightest, she effectively cut him off from an essential part of his personality. Dean was an extrovert, he needed people around him.  
"Do you want me to say Hi from you? I'm sure he'll appreciate it..." he offered Benny.  
Benny smiled sadly. "Maybe later, chief. He won't want me around if you two just hooked up. I'd only remind him of old times. Once he's ready, I'll hold you to that."  
Cas bought Benny an Abita Andygator, which he accepted with a grin and a salute.  
"Much obliged, brother. Dean is one lucky bastard, having you. You're the total oposite of that snake."  
Cas smiled.  
"Now that is insulting to all snakes..." he quipped, and Benny laughed heartily.

Deliveries were late and Cas had to take stock after, so he only got home at two am, finding Dean fast asleep on the sofa, snuggled in the quilt. He sat a while, just watching his boyfriend sleep, wondering if Dean would like to contact Benny again.  
After a bit, he couldn't fight the desire to see those green eyes open any more.  
"Hello, handsome..." he said a bit louder than really necessary.  
Dean grumbled, scrunging up his nose and crawling deeper into the cocoon he'd made of the quilt.  
His cheeks were flushed with sleep warmth, making his freckles stand out more, and his lashes lay like downy feathers on those rosy cheeks. Cas wanted nothing more than kiss him until that blush was from arousal.

He blamed the late hour on what he said next.  
"Dean... oh my.. you're sexy when you sleep."  
The green eyes blinked open, and Dean licked his lips.  
"Cas... hmmm. What time is it?" he asked.  
Cas nearly swooned at the cute way Dean rubbed his eyes before looking at Cas.  
"Whoa.. heart eyes. Sexy..." Dean smiled.  
That sent Cas' heart in double overtime, but he answered Dean, and added the question if he wanted his massage, or go up to bed.  
Dean couldn't answer, because he was yawning widely.

Cas bit his lip not to chuckle.  
"Bed it is, Dean. I can massage you tomorrow. Come. I want to cuddle."  
When he reached out to Dean, the man pulled him down and hugged him close.  
Cas kissed his cheek, and Dean turned into the kiss.  
They kissed sweetly, nuzzled necks and sleepily cuddled.  
Dean took a deep breath and hummed a pleased tone.  
"Mmm Cas. Glad you're home, angel."  
The nickname nestled deep in Cas' heart and glowed there.  
"Me too, Dean. Me too."

Dean hugged him closer still, placing a hand on the back of his dark hair.  
Cas just basked in the feeling for a while.  
Dean slowly got heavier, making Cas turn his head to look at his face.  
Dean's eyes were closed, and his breathing had evened out.  
"Dean! Don't fall asleep on me..." Cas chuckled, and Dean jerked awake.  
"Sorry, angel. I guess it really is bed time, huh?" he amended grumpily.  
Cas nodded, and they made their way upstairs.


	34. Chapter 34

Cas was humming happily. He checked the croissants in the oven, and deemed them ready.  
He put everything on a tray and took their breakfast up to Dean, who had been sleeping so soundly when Cas woke up, that he didn't even notice Cas leaving.  
He pushed the bedroom door open with a smile, which slid from his face when he saw Dean.  
His sweet love was curled up like a hurt animal, little tremors running through him.  
Cas swiftly put the tray on the bedside table and hurried over to the bed.

"Hey... Dean.. What's wrong love?"  
Dean just curled in tighter and his voice sounded pinched when he answered.  
"N'thin'" It was very clear that Dean did not feel fine.  
Cas could almost feel his heart splinter.  
Carefully, he extracted Dean from his blanket burrito.

"It's not nothing, Dean. I'm here. I brought breakfast... it's Sunday, and Samandriël has taken todays shift. I'm off until Monday." Cas softly said, stroking Dean's hair from his face.  
Dean started to protest, but Cas shushed him with his finger on those delicious lips.  
Hearing that his texts from the previous night had helped Dean feel better, made Cas feel less guilty about being distracted during work.

He goaded Dean to finally eat, joining him in bed for their super lazy breakfast.  
After they'd stripped and remade the bed, because of the crumbs, Cas grabbed a bottle of massage oil from the medicine cabinet and ordered Dean to lie on his stomach.  
"Oh... Cas... what're you up to?" Dean grinned, tone light.  
"Massage, Dean. I did promise you one."  
In a flash, Dean had stripped down to his boxers and was face down on the bed.  
"That you did, angel. And I am feeling a bit tensed."

Cas smiled as he poured some of the juniper and lavender oil on his palm.  
Once he deemed it warm enough, Cas rubbed the warmed oil slowly over Dean's back.  
Dean sighed deeply and tension started leaking from him.  
Cas lovingly and patiently massaged that freckled and sunkissed skin until the muscles underneath were malleable and supple.  
"Hmmmm. C's... 's good... so good." Dean mumbled sleepily.

"Good. I hope you're not too sleepy to take a hot bath with me..." Cas answered, slowly rubbing circles over Dean's shoulderblades.  
"Hmmmno... I'd love a bath. Especially with you." Lifting his head, Dean cast a look over his shoulder.

After their bath, they ended up in the livingroom, where Cas sat down in the corner of the sofa and Dean picked up his phone to play a game.  
"Huh." Dean huffed, a smile audible.  
"What is it, Dean?" Cas wondered, looking up from where the heroine was using magic to make a couple of idiots believe she was a fierce ogress, riding a dragon.  
"We were in the bath for over an hour... must be a record." Dean grinned, holding up his phone to show the time.

Cas chuckled and pulled Dean in between his legs, side to front.  
"It is for me..." he replied, laying one leg over Dean's.  
Dean settled down in his place and started up his game, while Cas went back to reading, his right hand carding thoughtlessly through Dean's hair.  
Two chapters in, Dean suddenly silenced his game and turned his head.  
"Cas..." he said, a wondering tone to his voice.  
Cas lowered his book, curious what was bugging his boyfriend.  
"What's wrong, Dean?"  
"I wondered... did you know I'm bi, or did you just guess?"  
Cas put the book away and resumed combing through Dean's hair.  
"I knew. Remember that you and Gabe were at the bar when you told him..."

Chuckling, Dean leaned into Cas a bit more.  
"That devious little imp... That's why he raised his voice so much. To make sure you heard."  
Cas nodded, still carding his hair.  
"He knew I liked you." Cas admitted low.  
"So he set us up, didn't he?" Dean said, a bit of wonder in his voice.  
"I guess he did." Cas admitted.  
It got him wondering though. Had Dean known of Cas' sexual preference, or had he just taken a shot?

He asked him, heart thumping loudly.  
Lowering his head, a deep red blush making his freckles pop out, Dean admitted that he hadn't known, but that he had hoped since he saw no signs of girls in Cas' life.  
"When we went to see the band, and you looked so sexy and relaxed, I got drunk because I realised my crush had passed into love territory." Dean ended his explaination.  
Cas remembered that night fondly and he kissed Dean lovingly on the head.  
"Aw, Dean... you're a cute drunk. Go on..." he invited.  
Dean licked his lips and sighed.  
"You were being so sweet to me, and cute to Alfie..."

Cas couldn't stop his smirk. So Samandriël had read Dean perfectly...  
"His name is Samandriël." he corrected. "So, you **were** jealous!"  
Blushing furiously, Dean cleared his throat.  
"Yeah. Kinda... anyway, you were so cute and sweet and caring, and it kinda reminded me of that dream I head, after we'd drank all that JW blue. You were drunk and tried to carry me up to bed, but you slipped and... we fell on the sofa. I said something about your eyes and you... you kissed me."  
That brought Cas up short. Could it be? Had they...? What if that really hadn't been a dream... He had to find out.

"And you kissed me back. We kept kissing for a while... until we just snuggled on the sofa, saying to eachother that it was nice..." he finished. "Dean... I dreamed that too... so maybe..."  
Dean turned and stared at him, eyes wide and mouth open a bit.  
"Maybe it wasn't a dream... but, Cas, how did I end up in my own bed, alone?"  
Frowning, Cas rubbed his mouth.  
"I was wondering the exact same thing. All I can remember was falling asleep, thinking this would be a great way to wake up, but when I did, I was in my bed, alone."  
He couldn't put his finger on it. There was something obvious that they were missing.  
Suddenly Dean sat upright, letting Cas' hands fall from his shoulders.  
"It was that snowstorm... Sam and Gabe..."

Of course! That was it! Their brothers had been seeking shelter from the blizzard!  
If only...  
The banging of the scullery door interupted his thoughts.  
"Morning guys! Thought we'd... are we interupting something?" Gabe asked, head tilted.  
Sam chuckled and pushed past him to hug his brother and clap Cas on the shoulder.  
"Shut up, Gabe. Hi guys. Gabe and I wanted to see that Castiël's vacation went out with a bang."  
Gabriel shrewdly eyed their position on the sofa and smirked.  
"Are we too late for that?" he asked innocently.

Sometimes Cas wanted to commit fraticide.  
He raised one, unimpressed, eyebrow.  
"No, but you have impeccable timing. We were wondering what happened the night of the big blizzard."  
Sam looked at Gabriel, who full on grinned and launched into the story.  
"Well, for starters, my Beetle didn't start, so I started walking. I was well on my way to freezing my toes off, when Sam-a-lam here pulls up and orders me to 'get in you damned fool, or you'll get frostbite on your ass.'"

Gabriel glanced at Sam warmly, but Sam didn't react.  
"I barely got warmed up, when his fancy-schmancy car dies too. Then you two knuckleheads don't answer our texts, so we decided to get overhere before we turn into two sexy snowmen. By the way, Sammich, did I ever tell you I'm glad you're so tall? He got that spare key in no time!"  
This time Sam actually started blushing and he ducked his head with a shy smile.  
' _Now_ _that_ _is_ _interesting...'_ Cas thought fleetingly, but Gabriel winked at the large guy and ploughed on.  
"Imagine the shock we get when we step into the room! You two were out cold, an almost empty bottle of grade A booze next to you. Looked cozy too, didn't they, Samshine?"

Chuckling, Sam nodded.  
"Yeah... Cas, you were clinging to Dean like an octopus, but you, Dean, you were about as bad. We had to physically pry your arm from around Cas' shoulders before we could hoist you up. You were slurring that it was nice and warm. Oh, and you kept telling me you loved me."  
Dean actually facepalmed, and Cas was inclined to copy him.  
If the snow hadn't interfered, he and Dean would have woken up together on the sofa... who knew what might have happened then?  
Gabriel seemed determined to embarras Cas even more, because he nodded seriously and added his two cents.

"Yeah, and Cassie, pal, I know I'm an amazing big brother, but I'm not one for smooches from you. Others may smooch me all they want."  
Gabriel gast a quick glance at Sam, who smiled and ducked his head again.  
"But not you, ok. You're one affectionate drunk, baby brother!"  
' _Oh_ _God! I tried to kiss **Gabriel**?! Please, just let the Earth swallow me...'_ Cas thought desperately.  
Dean seemed inclined to agree, since he hid his face in both his hands and asked if he could just die now.  
Cas heartily opposed and told Dean they would face it together before admitting this was mortifyingly embarrassing and emulating his move, hiding his face too.  
Gabriel and Sam burst out in hearty laughter.  
The uncaring swines.


	35. Chapter 35

"Cassie, Sam and I popped over at oma's before coming over. Look what she got from Auntie Gemma." Gabriel said, when dinner time came around.  
He produced a sealed paper bag, seemingly out of thin air.  
Cas grinned at the picture on it. Poffertjes! Oh yes! Just what the docter ordered!  
"Dean, Sam... that will be dinner!" he declared, clapping his hands together.  
He bustled off to the kitchen and was surprised to see Dean followed him.  
"Cas... is this something like pannenkoeken?" he asked in hushed tones.

Cas beamed at him, before checking the fridge for ingredients.  
"It is the same batter, only for poffertjes, we will need the special skillet."  
He turned his head and shouted towards the livingroom.  
"Gabriel! We are low on both eggs and milk!"  
"Gotcha Cassiebear!" his brother answered.  
Not in the mood to bicker, Cas let the annoying nickname slide.  
Not too long after, Gabriel walked in, pulling a struggling Sam along.  
"Don't worry, brother. Sammoose and I will provide. Need butter and powdered sugar too?"  
Cas hummed, mentally checking for said items.

"Better bring some, Gabriel. Thank you."  
Gabe gave the two fingered salute and dragged Sam further to the scullery.  
"But Gabe... I really..." Sam protested.  
Gabe shit him up by kissing him on the lips.  
Cheeks bright red, Sam followed Gabriel willingly.  
"Huh... did you see that coming, Dean?" Cas asked, once their brothers had left.  
Dean scratched behind his ear and chuckled awkwardly.  
"Kinda... I saw they were interested in eachother... Had to talk Sam out of a 'oh-God-am-I-gay' freakout about it." he admitted.

Cas nodded, then smirked as a thought hit him.  
"Do you think they know about us?"  
Dean smiled too, then kissed him sweetly.  
"Don't know, angel, but it will bring different family dynamics once we all get how serious we are with eachother."  
Cas placed both his hands on Dean's hips and pulled him closer.  
"Are you serious about us, Dean?" he asked softly, looking up at him.  
Dean looked down into his eyes and sighed.  
"Like a heartattack, Cas. I'm never letting this go."  
He hugged Cas close and kissed him, slipping his tongue in when Cas sighed.

Halfway through the kiss, Cas noticed Dean wasn't really paying attention anymore.  
"Dean... Dean? Are you ok?" Cas asked, after pulling back.  
Dean smiled warmly and pulled him back in.  
"Aces, Cas."  
Cas smiled and booped his nose.  
"Ok. Then let's get ready to make poffertjes. They are not as easy as pancakes, but we got time."  
After kissing Cas on the temple, Dean let go.  
"Allright, chef, what's the plan?" he said enthousiastically.

Cas showed him the poffertjespan, and explained that they would put a little bit of the batter in each dent, then flip them around with a fondue-fork when the edges were solid.  
Dean was examining the skillet with apprehension, when their brothers came back.  
"Hey, Dean-o! Don't tell me **you** will be making these nommy babies." Gabriel called, dropping two bags on the breakfast bar.  
Cas rolled his eyes and barely held back a frustrated groan.

"Gabriel... I needed eggs and milk... Maybe sugar and butter. What in the Universe have you bought?" he demanded to know.  
Gabe started unpacking with a grin, while Sam just sat down and shook his head.  
"Lemme see... eggs, check. Milk, check. Butter, check. Powdered sugar..."  
He pulled out three containers. "...check. Then... icecream... vanilla, check. Pecan, check. Chunky monkey, check. Rocky road... check. And for my Sammykins... Moosetracks!"  
He pulled out the last carton with a flourish and plonked it in front of Sam.

Cas raised one eyebrow as he took in the food.  
"I guess you wanted to be sure we had dessert, huh, brother?" he said sarcastically, picking up the Moosetracks.  
"Pretty much, but the other bag is full of fruits and veggies." Gabe admitted.  
He shuddered theatrically and pushed it away with one finger.  
"Don't be such a baby, Gabe." Sam said, corners of his mouth curled up in a warm smile.

"I'm making a fruit salad. I will eat the icecream, but with a side of fruit." he said to Cas, who chuckled and pulled the second bag closer to peer in it.  
"Ooh! Mango? And pears, and pineapple! Mmmm, Sam, mind if I ask you to make me some too?" he asked, hope rising.  
"EW! Cassie! I'm ashamed to call you my brother!" Gabe yelped.  
Sam smiled warmly.  
"Sure thing, Cas. We'll be the responsible brothers and eat some vitamines."  
Cas smiled and picked up the ingredients for the poffertjes.  
After desserts, Cas made coffee as Sam and Gabriel did the dishes.  
When they were done, and the coffee was gone, their brothers left, and Cas and Dean ended up snuggled together in bed.  
Cas sighed happily  
This had been a great last day of his vacation.


	36. Chapter 36

When he came through the doors that Monday, he received a poisonous glare from Marley.  
Thinking she was still pissed about his sudden visit to Gabriel during his time off, Cas ignored her and got to his office.  
Work had piled up a bit during his vacation, but nothing a bit of hard work couldn't help.  
He hung up his tan coat and jacket, rolled up his sleeves and got to work.

Come coffeebreak, Cas was pretty tied up in his work, and it took a grinning Gabriel to get him to even look up from his screen.  
"Cassie... C'mon man. HR did not give you time off to have you work twice as hard on your very first day back. Live a little!"  
Cas glared at him, but paused his work.  
"Shut up, Gabriel. Go kiss a Moose..." he snarked, taking the cup from his brother.

Gabriel produced a smug little smile and sipped his own cup.  
"Been there, done that little bro."  
Cas chuckled around the lip of his cup.  
"Yeah. I saw. Me and Dean. We both saw... So, does that mean you talked with Sam?"  
Gabriel sighed theatrically and eyed the ceiling.  
"Talked, kissed, made out some more... Yeah. We did, brother... we most definitely did."

Setting his coffee on bis desk, Cas turned to face his brother for real.  
"I'm happy for you, Gabriel. I think Sam is a wonderful man, and you are perfect for eachother."  
Gabriel smiled warmly.  
"Aw. Thanks, Cassie. You know..."  
Guessing where this would go, Cas cut him off.  
"Thank you for the coffee, Gabriel, but I really need to catch up on this. Some of these figures have to be out by lunch."  
Gabriel threw up his hands and left, mumbling something about that being why he worked maintenance.

Loath though he was to do it, Cas ate lunch at his desk.  
He managed to get caught up with all his work around three, so for the midday coffeebreak, he finally left his office.  
He'd just reached the coffee pot, when someone grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around.  
Staring in the dark eyes of Lisa, Cas swallowed back his retort.  
"Hello, Lisa. Did I cut in line?" he managed to sound normal, if surprised, but who wouldn't be?

Lisa glared at him, her mouth in a sneer.  
"No. I just want to give you a warning. You get your filthy, faggot hands off my boyfriend, you queer, or else..." she hissed.  
Cas blinked, thoughts going a mile a minute. Why wasn't there anyone in there right now?  
"I...I don't know what you mean. Who..." he started asking, but Lisa pushed her lower arm against his adamsapple.  
"Dean... you know him, don't you? I know you do... Lilith said she saw you at a bar, a few days back. You couldn't keep your eyes off him. Off of **my** guy... Don't let me hear you trying to get him to turn, you gay homewrecker. I'll cut off your balls and feed them to the dogs. Dean is **mine**. Got that? If I so much as hear that you looked at him, I'm telling everyone in this company that you're a filthy, gay piece of shit. Let's see how fast you'll get fired..."  
Lisa gave a final push to his throat and stalked off, leaving Cas scared and flustered.

He tried to forget it, or reason it away.  
Dean had chosen him, not Lisa, Dean had told Cas he loved him, he had been the first man Dean had ever had real sex with...  
But still the encounter weighed on Cas, and he couldn't concentrate on his work.  
He spat out a Dutch expletive and switched off his computer.  
Grabbing his coat, he closed the blinds and locked his door.

"Cassie? Where are you..."  
Of course Gabriel would see him leaving early.  
Cas ignored him and made his way to the elevator.  
"Cassie... Castiël! Talk to me..."  
Cas got in the elevator and the doors shut in Gabriel's face.  
Biting his lip, Cas took a detour and exited the building through the fire exit.

Once he was home, he dug up his 'Demons and Wizards' CD and set number 5 on a loop.  
He stripped down to his slacks and shirt, throwing his tie on the sidetable when he slumped down on the sofa.  
Everything Lisa had said, the threatening way she had stepped right in his personal space, it all kept coming around and around.  
Cas grabbed a cushion and hugged it to his chest, knees pulled up like the scared little boy he felt he was.

His phone rang and he picked it up, knowing it was Gabriel, demanding answers.  
"Hello Gabriel."  
He tried to sound casual and unconcerned, just on the off chance his brother did not pick up on his mood.  
"Can it, Cassie. Why the Hell did you leave before closing... is that? Crap. Cassie... what happened? Why are you suddenly so glum? Did you and Dean fight? Has he decided to date someone? What? Tell me, Cassie. I know that song... last time I heard it was when you thought Dean was going to do something stupid."  
Cas bit his lip, unable to stop the tears from sliding silently down his cheeks.  
"Nothing happened between Dean and I. Just... leave it be, Gabriel. I think I over did work today. I'll be fine tomorrow."  
Without greeting, Cas hung up and burried his head in the cushion, sobbing quietly.

After a bit, his tears dried up and he just sat there, trembling slightly.  
When his phone rang again, he didn't want to pick it up, sure it was his brother again.  
But when it kept ringing, he pulled it towards him.  
His heart stuttered, seeing Dean's name on the screen.  
Had something happened? Was he hurt?  
He picked up on the fifth ring.  
"Dean? Is everything allright?"

Dean sounded casual and relaxed though.  
"I'm ok, Cas. Just wanted to say I'll be home soon. Almost done here. Shall I take care of dinner?"  
That would be great. Just the thought of cooking, made Cas want to puke.  
"If you please could. I fear I might burn things today." he replied.  
He tried to hide how tense his voice was, but apparently, Dean had a sixth sense.  
"Did something happen, angel? You do sound tired..."  
The worry in Dean's gruff voice, the nickname... Cas' heart constricted and he couldn't speak.

"Cas?" came Dean's voice from the speaker, clearly tensing up.  
Cas tried. He tried to lie and tell his love that he was ok, but his voice litterally failed after a soft squeak.  
Again Dean spoke and Cas could hear the love and worry, even through the metallic distortion of his phone.  
"Ok then. I will see you soon. Burgers sound ok? I'll make them myself."  
DAMNIT! The tears came flooding back and to hide his sobs, Cas turned the music up a notch.  
"Cas... I'm leaving right now, ok. I'm done here." Dean said, a hint of steel in his voice.  
Pulling out of the cushion, Cas managed a weak "Ok" before the line disconnected.


	37. Chapter 37

Cas tried to calculate how long he had to clean himself up, but it seemed he had either screwed it up, of Dean had been speeding, because before he could gather his wits enough to uncurl from the sofa, the frontdoor opened and Dean stepped in.  
Cas could hear the coathangers in the closet click together as Dean hung away his jacket.  
"Hey, angel. I'm home..." he said, and Cas could hear some tension in the phrase, but he just kept hugging the cushion, not looking up.

If Dean were to ask about his day, he was sure he would crumble and fall.  
But he didn't. Instead he softly walked around to stand by the sofa, looking down on Cas.  
"Interesting music. Bit melancholy. Who is it?"  
So not what Cas had thought he would say, so he finally looked at his boyfriend.  
The green eyes that caught his, were loving and soft.

"Demons and Wizards. It's from their debutalbum. I... I usually listen to it to make me aware that there is evil unmentionable out there... To make me feel better..." Cas replied, voice strained and quiet.  
The green eyes darted all over him, taking in everything.  
"Not working today, Honeybee?" Dean concluded.  
Heart shattering at the sweet tone and the nickname, Cas squeezed his eyes shut to stop fresh tears from forming. He shook his head.

Sitting down next to him, Dean cupped Cas' cheek lovingly.  
"Tell me, angel. Maybe I can help." Dean offered.  
Cas looked at him miserably. Would he? Or would he decide that a crybaby like Cas wasn't worth his time, and run back to Lisa?  
Those thoughts occupied his mind enough to let his mouth run off.  
"I can't, Dean... she'll..."  
Double damn! He cut himself off imediately, but Dean looked murderous.  
"Lisa. What did that bitch do?" he growled.

Ok, so maybe he wouldn't run to Lisa... but still.  
Cas ducked back into the cushion.  
"Cas, she has no rights here. Never had, never will have. Angel, please... I hate seeing you like this." Dean plead.  
So he didn't think Cas a coward?  
Cas peered at him, trying to find disgust in those green eyes, but all he saw was love and worry.  
He drew a deep, stuttering breath and finally sat up straight.  
He would tell Dean. He was right. Lisa had no power over them.

"Lisa came to me at the midday coffeebreak. She cornered me, and hissed at me to keep my filthy, faggot hands off her boyfriend."  
Dean looked nauseated and ready to punch something.  
"Damnit... I'm sorry, babe... but... how did she know?" he wondered.  
Recalling the conversation, Cas forced his mouth to smile.  
"She said Lilith saw me ogling you, while you were helping Ash out. I never saw Lilith there, but I did have my eyes on you most of the time... I guess Lilith drew her own conclusions."

Dean sighed and Cas could see him think back.  
He shook his sandy haired head while he recapitulated that nothing had even happened then.  
Suddenly, he smirked, making Cas' heart skip.  
"Besides, angel... I'm not hers anymore. She has no say in my life whatsoever."  
He brought his lips next to Cas' ear, breath ghosting over it.  
"To be brutally honest, Castiël Novak... I'm more yours than I ever was hers."  
Cas gasped, eyes wide as he looked into Dean's. That was a confession Cas never would have thought to hear, and it warmed him to the core.  
"W... what?" he gasped, not daring to believe it off the bat.

Dean kissed him on the lips, sweet, loving, tender.  
"I said I'm more yours than I ever was hers. You got under my skin and in my very soul, Cas. I love you with a fire that makes what I thought I felt for her look like a dying ember."  
A deep blush crept up Cas' cheeks. This love confession pushed everything Lisa had said right off the board. Dean was **his** , not hers. She couldn't hold a candle to their love.  
"I love you too, Dean." Cas said quietly, basking in it.  
Dean kissed him again and got up.  
"Good. Hamburgers?" he asked with a smile.  
Cas smiled back and nodded eagerly, suddenly ravenous.

Cas was setting the table, when Dean's phone rang.  
He picked it up, but didn't give a greeting.  
He just glanced at Cas, and grunted out a low "Uhuh." while flipping the burgers.  
That had Cas stop and pay attention.  
Dean licked his lips nervously before another "Uhuh." answer.

Knowing this routine from when Gabriel had tricked him into helping out with a prank, Cas got a bit worried.  
He put down the silverware and studied Dean, frowning slightly.  
Dean blinked as he glanced over and noticed Cas looking.  
"Ok. See ya, Gabe." Dean said, acting like nothing was wrong.  
Damnit. So it **was** Gabriel... he'd better not get Dean in trouble.  
"Dean, I do hope you will not partake in Gabriel's foolish pranks. One day these will get him in deep trouble." Cas warned severely.  
Taking the burgers off the grill, Dean smiled at Cas.  
"I promise I will not do that knowingly." he vowed, hand on his heart.  
Accepting that for now, Cas nodded, then kissed him.  
"Good. Now, let's eat!"


	38. Chapter 38

The whole week when he walked past Marley, she gave him a nasty smirk, but Cas ignored her.  
He felt confident that Dean was his, and no amount of conniving from Lisa would change that.  
Let her and her little friends smirk all they wanted. He didn't care.  
"So. No earrings today, Castiël?" Marley snarked when Cas left for the weekend.  
He raised one unimpressed eyebrow.  
"No. My clients might not like them. I do not want to harm Nomed's reputation. I like working here."  
Marley curled her upperlip.  
"Remember that, Castiël. Remember that."  
Cas scoffed and turned to leave.  
Of all the low ways to act... he was thouroughly disgusted by Lisa at this point.

Dean had made Cajun jambalaya, and it reminded Cas of that friend of Dean's, with the Cajun accent.  
He wondered what had happened between them, because as far as he knew by now, Dean was fiercly loyal.  
They were doing the dishes, when Cas tried to broach the subject.  
"Dean... you know that you can invite friends here, right? Like Ash, or Viktor... or others from before..."  
Dean gave him that warm smile, that always made Cas want to sigh like a smitten schoolgirl.

"I know, angel. I know. And maybe I will. After I walked away from that... relation, I reconnected with quite a few old friends. Lisa had efficiently cut off most of them, because they were too close."  
Those green eyes turned sad briefly, then brightened.  
"But not right now. I wanna be with you right now. Just getting to know you properly, you know."  
Cas hummed, sensing now was not the time to bring up his Cajun friend.

Samandriël greeted Cas with a smile and a nod.  
"Hello, Castiël! You seem pensieve. Everything ok?" he asked, wiping the counter.  
"Hello, Samandriël. I am fine. Just some things that happened this week, that have me thinking. Give me half an hour."  
Samandriël chuckled. "I'm afraid I can't... She's been harrassing me for an hour, so I'm letting her loose." he said, waving across the room.  
Cautiously, Cas turned around to see whom he was signaling.

"Castiël! It's been too long, buster! Why haven't you called?" came a shriek, followed by a nasty punch to his biceps.  
"OW! Charlie!" Cas called, rubbing his arm briefly before wrapping the redhead in a tight hug.  
"I'm sorry, Charlie. You know Balthazar left, right? So, I have to work, a lot."  
Charlie eyed him up and down.  
"And?" she pushed, clearly sensing he had more to tell.  
"And I have a new boyfriend..."  
Charlie squeed and pulled him into a crushing hug.

"Awwww Caaaassssiiiieeee! Im so proud of you! Tell me... is he hot?"  
Picturing Dean, as he was in all his bowlegged, freckled beauty, Cas sighed.  
"Very... and sweet, caring, loyal."  
He smirked, knowing Charlie had a soft spot for tall people.  
"And he is taller than me."  
Charlie nearly swooned.  
"Oh my stars, Castiël! You lucky Devil, you!"  
She punched him again.  
"OW! Seriously, Charlie. Stop that!"

Charlie grinned widely.  
"Nope. So. A boyfriend... is it... serious? I mean... last few were more into the idea of banging you, than into making it last."  
Sending her a glare, Cas pursed his lips.  
"Autch, Bradbury. True, but still. No... This one is very into making it last. He already told me he loves me."  
Charlie gaped, eyes twinkling.  
"I reitterate: you lucky Devil."  
Cas nodded, feeling his own grin widen.  
Cas ducked behind the bar to start his shift.  
Charlie smiled, resting a comforting hand on his.  
"Ok. I gotta go. Moondor awaits. You. Call me. Or I'm setting my trusted Knight and handmaiden on your ass. And they are **huge**!" she suddenly changed the subject, referring to her LARP group.

Cas chuckled.  
"Ok, Queen. I will. Promise. Now go, be regal."  
She winked and turned.  
"Charlie..." Cas called after her.  
She turned again.  
"Thank you for being my friend." Cas said sincerely.  
Charlie smiled warmly.  
"Anytime. Peace out!" she called back, making a Vulcan salute, and vanished through the door.


	39. Chapter 39

Cas smiled at the counter, deep in thoughts, while making a Bloody Mary.  
Seemed Dean wasn't the only one wrapped up in their relationship. Cas himself had all but forgotten his friends.  
He dropped the celery in the glass and served it.  
"Thanks, brother. You seem... preoccupied a bit. Argued with Dean, did ya?"  
That voice like warm red wine... Cas smiled and extended his hand.  
"Hello, Benny. No. I did not. Just a lot on my mind."  
Benny grinned those pearly whites bare as he clasped Cas' hand and shook it.  
"I'll say, chief. You didn't even recognise me until just now."

Cas hummed, wondering if he had the guts to ask Benny about Dean.  
"You ok, chief? That redhead bother you? She tends to punch people, I noticed."  
Cas smirked.  
"It's ok, Benny, we go way back. Would you mind explaining what happened between you and Dean? If you say it is none of my business, I understand."  
Benny sipped his drink and ran a hand over his scruff.  
"Nah. I don't mind chief. Might even be good to tell it. See, used to be that Dean and I, we would go out. Visit a bar or two, get a little buzzed. Good times."

He sipped his drink again, waiting for Cas to interupt, but Cas nodded him on.  
"We rarely got real plastered, but if we did, one would crash at the other's place. No problems. My girl, Andrea, she was fine with it. And we thought Lisa was too."  
Cas was mixing drinks and listening, but he could feel the tension rising. This was where it would be going south.  
"Turns out, she wasn't." Benny said, a bitter scowl around his mouth.  
"She never told us. Him or me. Nah. That peunez just let us roll, and one day, I'm crashing on their sofa, she starts makin' out with me, just like my Andrea always did to wake me up."  
Cas could taste bile. That bitch...

Benny shrugged, ostentatiously not bothered, but his eyes were hard.  
"Mais... o'course I don't know it ain't her. So I respond likewise and... well... Before I know it, that friend of Dean's is standin' there. Hands to mouth, gasping "oh my God!"and then givin' Lisa what not for doing that to Dean. Don't have ta tell ya I was surprised, and not in a happy way, to find I was lying next to her, buck naked. And she was equally naked."  
Cas could litterally feel the blood drain from his face.  
"Now, I now my body chief... and my body told me there had been no horizontal mambo that night, but it sure looked like it."  
Nodding, Cas made him another drink. Whiskey, neat, because Benny looked like he could use it.

"Next thing we know, Lisa is beggin' us to not tell Dean, because it was an honest mistake, and we wouldn't wanna break his poo' lil' heart, now do we? Then she tells the friend to go and get Dean for their appointment. Soon as we're alone, she turns like a leaf in the wind.  
Tells me to slowly drop outta their lives, or she tells Andrea about us waking up naked together.  
Mais... what do now, chief? What do? So I cussed her out, and left. Stopped contacting Dean. Made up excuses when he called. I love Andrea. An' I know she'd believe me, but would Dean? I mean... at that time he was still so in love with her."  
Cas fixed another whiskey, this one for him.  
He downed it in one shot, slamming the glass on the counter.

"Geez, brother. Calm down. You gonna break that." Benny chuckled.  
Cas coughed off the burn, and looked at that open face.  
"Just when I thought I'd heard the worst of her, there's another, much uglier story around the corner." he growled.  
Benny smiled sadly, sipping his own drink.  
"I don't even wanna know, chief. That woman... she a lie. An' don't be a coullion, you best take care to stay away from her! I got a feelin' in my blood she is one bad salop."

Loving the Cajun accent that got stronger the more agitated Benny got, Cas smiled at him.  
"Thanks Benny. I am disinclined to get any closer than I am. By the way... my name is Castiël, Cas for friends."  
Benny saluted him with his glass.  
"You sayin' I'm you friend, Cas?" he smirked.  
Cas pondered that for half a second.  
"Yes. Yes, I am. We might not be best buddies, but I like you."  
Benny grinned his teeth bare.  
"I like you too, Cas. You ok."

The night was busy, but Cas still had time to chat with Benny.  
"You know, Dean made jambalaya tonight." he told the burly man.  
Benny smiled warmly.  
"Was it any good?" he asked lightly, but Cas could sense something behind the innocent question.  
"It certainly was. I rarely have jambalaya, but this was one of the best." Cas answered honestly.  
"Good. Dat boy always was a good student. Did he remember to use andouille? An' the Holy Trinity? Ain't no jambalaya without those."

Cas chuckled, while he wiped the counter.  
"I take it you taught him to make that. I don't know what either of those are, but it had chicken, a sort of smoked saussage, bell peppers, celery and onions. And lemon zest, no tomatoes though. He said he hadn't made it in ages."  
Benny was nodding in a satisfied way.  
"Good, good. Ask him to make you some gumbo. I wanna know if he remembers that too."  
Cas glanced at the guy shrewdly.  
"You miss him." he concluded, pushing a complementary St. Charles at Benny.  
Benny sent him a gracious smile and heaved a sigh as he stirred his drink.  
"I do. Mercy me, I do. But I ain't makin' that call, Cas. It's up to him."  
That was all Cas needed to know.

 **Notes:**

 **Cajun slang:  
Peunez - a stink bug  
Mais... what do now, chief? - Well... what do I do now, chief?  
That woman... she a lie. - that woman, she's a liar, and lies often  
An' don't be a coullion. - and don't be stupid / an idiot.  
Salop - whore**


	40. Chapter 40

Dean surprised Cas that Monday at breakfast.  
"Angel... you know what I'd like to do?"  
Cas looked up at him and raised his eyebrows. He knew Dean wasn't being ambiguous, but he just had to tease.  
"Now? We will be late for work, Dean." he replied calmly.  
Dean put his sandwich down, a smile tugging at his mouth.  
"No. As much as I would like to do that too, I meant I would like to drive you to work."

Cas blanched and dropped his last bit of bread.  
"Dean... you know what happened last week. Should we risk it?"  
Quirking up on corner of his mouth sarcastically, Dean scoffed.  
"Angel, we were housemates before boyfriends. Who knows that changed? I'm sure someone set her straight by now."  
Cas bit his lip in doubt.  
"Awe, please angel... it's a step in letting go for me. I wanna see if I can go there without breaking out in flop sweat." Dean plead, his green eyes wide and sincere.  
At that, Cas gave in.  
"But no kissing! Im not sure we should risk that."

Dean sighed and patted Cas' hand.  
"Ok. I'll stay full on platonic. Just not yet, ok?" he teased.  
Cas smiled and shook his head at his boyfriend before kissing him.  
Dean let his hand slide around Cas' head and deepened the kiss.  
When he pulled back, his fingers skimmed Cas' ear.  
"Whoa... you gotta take those out, bud... Marley will go ape..."  
Cas reached to his ear and chuckled.  
"It's just the skull stud, a plain ring with a bat pendant and that silver fang... she'll be great." he smiled.

Dean chuckled too and took up his sandwich again.  
"Sure thing, Cas. I can't bail you out, hotstuff. I got a Volvo waiting for me."  
Cas grinned as he pulled out the earrings.  
"Ooh, hot date! Should I get jealous?"  
He loved teasing Dean a bit.  
Throwing his head back, Dean laughed out loud.  
And that was the way Cas loved to see him in the morning. Relaxed and laughing.

Before they got into Baby, Dean fixed Cas' tie.  
"I don't know how you get it backwards every time, angel. It's creepy." he said, tugging at the wayward piece of cloth.  
"No it is not. I have a gift. My ties will not succomb to straightness." Cas answered, deadpan, because he still felt the need to tease.  
Dean doubled over, laughing.  
"Oh Cas... ohohoh. You... you're amahahazihing. God, I lohohove you."  
Once he recovered, he kissed Cas quick and got in the car.

"Dean... you know you don't have to..." Cas tried, but his love adamantly shook his head.  
They sat in the car, just outside Nomed.  
"No. I gotta, Cas. I'm trying to associate Nomed with you, not her. So I have to do this. She wouldn't let me enter the building, except for parties, where she could put me though my paces. I need to get myself over this bump in the troad, angel. Can't you see?"  
Cas could and the trouble was that he normally wouldn't mind, but what if Lisa saw them, and she would carry out her threat?  
"Cas... please. I promise I will act as if we really are just housemates, ok? No matter how much I want to tell the whole world I love you, I don't want to see you hurt."

Cas sighed.  
"Ok then. Time to go in..."  
Dean got out and unlike other times, he didn't walk around to open the door. Right. Just pals...  
Cas hated it, but it was prudent for now.  
He opened his own door and got out.  
Dean thrust his hands in his jacket pockets with a neutral face.  
When they passed Marley, Dean waved, but Cas ignored her.  
He was still angry at her.

Dean stopped, just inside the reception area, and coughed.  
Cas turned around, wondering what Dean was doing.  
"I'll fix the Mark today, Cas. Promise. Just... might be tonight. Not sure what Bobby has lined up." Dean said, one corner of his mouth quirking up a bit.  
Cas was stumped and his brain went in overdrive  
' _What is he on about? The Mark isn't bro...oh,' he suddenly realised. 'He is making a coverstory. Such a smart man!'_  
Clearing his throat, Cas answered that he was fine with it, and thanked Dean for dropping him off.

"No problem. See ya tonight, bud!" Dean cheerily replied, his green eyes twinkling.  
Gods, but did Cas want to peck those perky lips.  
Instead Cas smiled and waved his hand, before walking away.  
Behind him he could hear his brother, saying 'Hi' to Dean, and asking him what he was doing there.  
Cas' smile widened. He didn't know it, but Gabriel was helping their ruse along just perfectly.  
Before he got in the elevator, he caught the last snippets of the conversation between the two most important guys in his life.

"...you settling in at your new home?" Gabriel asked nicely.  
"Ok. Really. Your brother is nice, even if rarely there. Never had an easier housemate. Thanks for letting me know he needed a roommate." came Dean's reply.  
If he hadn't had a pretence to uphold, Cas would have run back and hug his brother for asking exactly the right things.  
Humming 'the Sleep' from Pantera, Cas got to his office and turned on his computer with a smile.


	41. Chapter 41

Cas looked at his phone when it buzzed.  
It was a text from Dean, telling Cas he was downstairs. Hastily, Cas looked at the clock, blinking in surprise when it showed 6.37. Apart from Gabriel walking in every hour on the hour, which somehow **had** to be connected to his call with Dean last week, the day had gone by in a flash.  
He texted back that he was coming down, and shut off his computer.  
At least, he tried to. It glitched and asked if he wanted to save his work.  
Clicking the 'yes' button, Cas waited, but the message kept popping up.

With an annoyed grunt, Cas clicked 'no' and checked if his work was indeed saved.  
It was, and Cas tried to shut off his computer again.  
This time it smoothly powered down.  
Muttering in Dutch under his breath, Cas closed his office and got to the elevator, which had to come from the top floor.  
Cas growled low when it stopped just three floors down.  
Everything seemed to work against his leaving.  
When he finally got in, he sighed as the doors closed.  
At last. He wanted to go home and have dinner, then maybe play a little with his boyfriend.

The elevator reached the ground level and the doors slid open.  
To reveal Lisa, very red in the face and with blazing eyes.  
"You did this, didn't you? You did this because I said I would tell everyone you're gay!" she shrieked at him, making him cringe ever so slightly at the sudden attack.  
Cas heard gasps and then, like a judge calling the court to order, Crowley's voice rang out.  
"Ms. Braeden! I would advice you to shut your venemous little trap. In this company, we don't give a rat's ass about sexual preferences. I am gay, mr. Asmodeus used to be ms. Asmodeus, Hannah is Asexual and we. don't. care. The fact that you tried to blackmail Castiël, for whatever reason, is just more proof that you do not fit in with us. Just get your homophobic little ass out of here. Now!"

Cas did not like his manager very much, but this raised his star quite a few notches.  
Someone started clapping slowly, and Cas just had to follow suit. This was one show of appreciation Crowley more than deserved.  
More people started applauding and soon it rolled through the hallway.  
Lisa turned to storm out, saw Dean and flushed beetred.  
"What are you doing here?" she snapped.  
"Picking up my roommate. His car broke down." Dean answered casually.  
"Yeah, right! You're all such assholes!" Lisa yelled and stalked past him.

Cas got out of the carriage, not sure what he'd missed, when he suddenly saw Dean sink to the floor.  
Gabriel caught him, but the weight of the taller man made his knees almost buckle too.  
He caught sight of Cas and motioned him over with a jerk of his head.  
Cas hurried over to help his brother.  
"Cassie! Shit... help me. The baffoon eats too many burgers, I swear!" Gabriel groused and let Cas take over his boyfriend, easing them both to the floor.  
"I'm calling Sam. He should be almost here anyway." Gabriel stated.

Cas frowned at his brother, mouthing 'what happened?' to which Gabriel answered in a low tone.  
"Die trut is ontslagen. Geeft hem kennelijk de schuld." before turning away and switching to English. "Sammy... get in here pronto, honeybear. Big bro just fainted. Tell you all later."  
Cas rolled his eyes. It must be less simple. Dean wasn't one to just faint.  
First things first, wake his boyfriend up. To the point and in a crisp tone, otherwise he might not get through.  
"Dean. Enough of this. I know it was emotionally wrecking, but stay with it. We need to get home."  
Internally, Cas cringed at how uncaring he sounded, but Dean blinked his green eyes open.  
"Cas? Wha?" he managed, although it was slurred.

Relief flooded though Cas and he breathed lighter.  
"Finally. You scared us, Dean. Don't do that." he scolded, trying to not sound like he was worried about his love, because they were still at the office.  
Dean blinked groggily, making Cas think he didn't see straight yet.  
Gabriel knelt next to them, apparently done with his call.  
"Hey there, bucko. Did you eat at all today?" he asked, also going for the to the point approach.  
Still blinking too much, Dean seemed to think hard.  
"Breakfast..." he ground out.

Small wonder he fainted! Cas knew Dean usually packed four sandwiches for lunch, otherwise, he claimed, he would get woozy. Add the nasty surprise of a vexed ex-girlfriend, and most people would drop.  
It seemed Gabriel shared Cas' displeassure, because he frowned and shook his head.  
"You muttonhead! Cassie, get him home. And he **isn't** allowed behind the wheel." Gabriel stated, before neatly lifting Baby's keys from Dean's pocket, while Dean closed his eyes wearily.  
"Damnit, Gabe." Dean growled. "I can drive."

Gabriel scoffed and handed Cas the keys.  
"Of course you can. And I can poledance..." he snarked.  
If sarcasm was a college subject, that would get ten out of ten on an exam.  
Dean chuckled, eyes still closed.  
Cas saw Sam running up and stood to bring him up to speed.  
He could hear Dean answer Gabriel's snark though.  
"I bet Sam would love to see that..." he teased.  
Sam caught it too, because he flashed his dimples in a big grin, before winking at Cas.

"If your mind goes there, you'll be ok... but still not driving!" Gabriel chuckled.  
Cas had to agree with him, because when he helped Dean sit up, he was still pretty ragdoll-like.  
Dean opened his eyes again, and to Cas' relief, they seemed more focussed.  
Seeing his brother sitting up, eyes open, Sam stepped closer.  
"Dean! You fool, why didn't you eat?"  
Wearily, Dean swiveled his head around.  
"Hiya, Sammy. 'M ok now. Cas 'n Gabe helped. Cas 'sgonna drive me home." he answered, still slurring a bit.

Gabriel patted Sam on the shoulder with a wink.  
"He'll live, Samshine. He just got an earfull from the hellbitch. On top of his skipping lunch, I think that just drained him."  
Sam shook his head and bit his lip, muttering an almost inaudible "Damnit." before smiling warmly at Gabriel.  
"Thanks Gabe. We owe you." he said low.  
Gabriel ducked his head, a blush spreading.  
"Naah. Dean-o promised to cook all of us dinner, didn'tcha, bucko?" he asked.  
Dean nodded slowly, with great care.  
"Yeah... Gabe said you'd be there, Sammy. You up for pork tenderloin with fries and a cucumbersalad? Cas is making the salad."

Oh. It seemed he was now making salad for four.  
Chuckling, Sam shook his head.  
"You two... always thinking with your stomach. I'm in."  
Grunting, Dean pulled free from Cas, who eyed him with a feeling of trepidition.  
"Good. Let's get our collective asses home. Cas, you'd better not scratch Baby."  
Cas blinked at that. Would he ever be anything but careful with that beauty?  
Finally he got that Dean was trying to break the tension.  
"Of course, Dean." he answered simply.

 **Notes:**

 **Dutch - English translation  
Die trut is ontslagen. - That b*tch got fired.  
Geeft hem kennelijk de schuld. - Seems to be blaming him.**


	42. Chapter 42

**More editing done. I have to keep to the code, right?**

During dinner, Dean really perked up and even played a little footsie with Cas under the table.

Which Cas loved, but he did put a stop to it.  
Both he and Sam wanted to know details about what in the world had happened at Nomed, so they pressed Gabriel about it, because what he didn't know, wasn't worth knowing.  
Gabriel held out until Cas threatened to withold his pie.  
"Allright already! Sheesh! You would be a master toturer, Castiël!" Gabriel tried to put off telling.

Sam just levelled him a stare and he crumbled.  
"Ok, ok. So, word has it that Crowley got wind of miss Braeden's... hobby. Only she'd been hobbying with both employees and clients. Married clients. So, the smarmy guy showed his brass ones and kicked her to the curb."  
Sam looked like he was going to throw up, and Cas couldn't blame him.  
He too felt a little nauseous, knowing what exactly had caused Lisa to attack like that.  
Crowley's star rose a little more still.

Gabriel wasn't done yet.  
"She objected, loudly. Everyone in the main hall could hear it, since she chose to take it out of her office. It was not pretty, was it Dean?"  
Dean sighed and shook his head sadly.  
"No it wasn't." He looked up at Cas and smiled. "Is it bad that I feel good about this?"  
Cas chuckled, and Sam joined in.  
"No. It isn't. I actually feel good about it too, Dean. Like she got a nice helping of karma." Cas answered, glad to see his love smiling like nothing had happened.  
Sam nodded in agreement, adding: "Yeah. She got her just desserts handed out to her."  
For some reason, Gabriel found that hillarious.

Cas served the pie and talk got more casual and light.  
After dessert, which, Cas was pleasantly surprised to learn, Dean had made from scratch according to his mother's recipe, Sam helped Cas clear the table.  
They chatted about recipes for a bit, when Gabriel suddenly volunteered himself and Sam to do the dishes.  
Normally, Dean would have protested, but he instantly agreed and tried to get Cas to come help pick out a movie with him.  
Confused, Cas protested, until Dean pulled him close and whispered in his ear.  
"Cas... look at them... they're aching to be alone, like together-alone... and I like that idea too."  
Curious, Cas looked at Sam and Gabe, and noticed the little touches between them, the hungry eyes taking eachother in.  
It reminded him of how he and Dean... It clicked.  
"Oh... oh! Movienight... great idea, Dean. We shall sort out the movie discussion before we start. Yes. Great plan."

Dean chuckled as he pulled at Cas' arm again.  
"Cas... you're babbling." he teased, green eyes dark.  
They almost ran to the livingroom, stumbling over eachother onto the sofa, kissing, limbs entangled.

Realising they weren't exactly alone here, Cas tried to pull back a little.  
"Hm. De..Dean... the movie... we don't know... how long... we got." he gasped between smoochy kisses.  
Dean hummed, grabbed the first DVD his hand landed on and showed the case to Cas.  
Cas couldn't help it, he sniggered.  
It was a children's movie, he didn't remember owning.  
"How did we ever get 'Brave'?" he giggled.

Dean smothered his giggles with kisses and scolded him that the girl, with a name that reminded Cas of flowers, was actually 'badass'.  
He pouted spectaculairly, and pushed himself up to replace de DVD on the side table.  
That pout... it did things to Cas. He pulled Dean back in and agreed to watch the movie, if only to see if he liked it.  
He knew kids' movies could be either a drag, or very entertaining.  
A thought popped up in his head and he smiled mischievously.

"What's your colour, Dean?" he asked, voice low and sultry.  
Dean stiffened, swallowing hard.  
"Mmmm orange. Cas... I... our brothers, man." He flicked his eyes towards the kitchen arch.  
Knowing they were there was part of the fun. Cas' blood warmed at the idea.  
Mind going a mile a minute, he made a decision.  
"I won't do anything with them here, Dean... but I can give you a challenge..." he teased.  
Dean stuttered out the question of what challenge, and Cas could sense his arousal mounting.

"You keep your hands to yourself, you don't make any double entendres and if I like this movie..."  
He licked a stripe up Dean's throat, tasting him, and nearly moaned. Dean punched out a breath.  
"UHN! Cas, you..." he started, but Cas held up a warning finger.  
"Shush Dean. I think they're about done."  
Dean scooted over to the other side of the couch.  
Cas smirked and calmly set himself right next to Dean, intent on breaking his restraint into fractals.  
Shooting him a glare, Dean crossed his legs.  
They'd settled down just in time, because their brothers came in.


	43. Chapter 43

It had been an average kind of day.  
Marley and Lilith kept sending him the stinkeye, but Cas didn't care.  
Gabriel had dropped in, grinning happily and asking him about his night, claiming his had been amazing.  
Cas didn't go into details, but he did tell Gabriel his night had been very satisfactory.  
Gabriel had pursed his lips at that and his happy, cocky attitude dropped a few notches.  
"Seriously. You need to get laid, baby bro. Get Dean-o to nut up." he'd grumbled as he left.  
Since it was none of Gabriel's business, and Dean had nutted up just fine, Cas didn't comment.

Crowley dropped in, sitting on the edge of Cas' desk once again.  
"So, Feathers. You and the green eyed studmuffin, eh?" Crowley started.  
Rolling his eyes, Cas cursed Crowley internally.  
He quickly rose and pushed the door shut.  
"Why would you say that, Fergus?" Cas stonewalled him.  
Raising his eyebrow at the use of his first name, Crowley settled in his place better.  
Damnit. Not what Cas had hoped for. Better keep a distance.  
"Oh, believe me. I have a... sixth sense about these things." Crowley replied smoothly.  
"Plus, I have been dying to get closer to mr. Kendoll, but no dice. You turn up, and suddenly he leaves the trollop."

Deadpanning, Cas shot the guy a glare that could peel paint, but Crowley just chuckled.  
"That's not true, Crowley, and you know it! I have worked here years before Dean even thought of leaving Lisa." Cas explained, but it fell on deaf ears.  
"Not truely correct there, chum. I have caught Dean eyeing your pretty ass as long as you both were in the near vincinity of one another. Highly frustrating I might add."  
It seemed Crowley loved jerking Cas' chain to see how he would dance.  
"Such a pity. Never stood a chance once you caught his eye. So. What's the scoop on Squirrel then? Is he gay, and only just out? Or... gay and tried to please an angry parental figure?"  
Cas was suppressing the insistant urge to take his pointy letteropener, and stab the smarmy guy.  
"No. He is bi. Has known since before Lisa. Damnit!" Cas cursed, unhappy that Crowley got to him.

To say Crowley's smile turned smug would be an understatement.  
"A switch-hitter, huh? Must say, I'm impressed. How'd you get him to change lanes?" he chortled.  
Closing his eyes and counting to ten, Cas ignored Crowley's innuendo.  
"Oh, come on, Feathers! Don't be that way. You can tell me." the smarmy Brit coaxed.  
Glaring, Cas decided to try once more.  
"I did nothing. He found out about Lisa and Brady. So he left her. It was weeks after, that Gabriel thought he might be a decent housemate for me. I never even thought about it."  
Crowley's eyes widened, then narrowed dangerously.  
"Brady? Are you dicking with me, Castiël? Because that would be a stupid thing to do..." he growled low.

Cas shook his head.  
"Sorry. I'm not. Dean found out somewhere in May, decided to set things in order before leaving, and thus insured himself that he didn't loose much in the break up."  
Crowley kept his gaze narrowed and he hummed softly.  
"You know, Castiël, I think I need to drop in on a certain employee. If he indeed messed around with ms. Braeden, he might very well need to find himself a new job too. I do not like someone of her ilk having connections to our firm, however tentative they may be."  
And just with that, Crowley's star rose the few notches it had dropped due to this visit.  
"Yes, I think I will do that. Give him a choice. Her or his job... Let's see who we're dealing with... Well, good talk, Feathers. Tata!" Crowley suddenly said briskly and with a determined air he left Cas' office.  
To his dismay, Cas noticed Lilith scooting down the hallway, looking a little too casual for his tastes.

The whole trip home, that bugged him.  
He was so preoccupied that he didn't notice the little dark grey Nissan on the drive, or the black Dodge Charger next to it.  
He put his shoes and trenchcoat in he closet when a familiar smell tickled his nose. It was the smell of his youth, and something he'd been craving most of this exceptionally cold winter. But, Dean couldn't know that, could he?  
"Dean? Do I smell... kale?" he queried in wonder, making his way to the kitchen.

"Verrassing, lieverd!"  
He looked around, happily surprised to see his oma, his brother and Sam crowding his kitchen with Dean.  
Upon his question why they were there, his oma just claimed to have the urge to feed her boys a hearty meal.  
Knowing her his whole life, Cas knew there was more to it.  
He kissed her on her grey head and smiled at the scent of her shampoo. She never changed that. Not in over two decades.  
"Of course. And you wanted to meet Dean. See who Gabriel has conned into living with his oddball brother, right?" he stated teasingly, but his oma wouldn't hear of it.  
She put her hands on her hips firmly and glared at Cas.  
"Castiël, you stop that right now! You're just perfect the way you are." she snapped.  
Dean nodded and added his two cents.  
"Yeah, Cas. What she said." he intoned with a hint of steel.  
The evening already shaped up to be a good one.

 **Notes:**

 **Translation Dutch - English  
Verrassing, lieverd! - Surprise, dear!**


	44. Chapter 44

**A.N.** **Ohhhh, I'm so sorry, my unicorns.**

 **Writing this was HARD. I emphasise: nothing Lisa says here is my opinion. I don't believe the utter nonsense she says and it was so grinding to write the bigot hatred she has.  
Again: I'm sorry. I love you all!**

 **Chapter Text**

Cas hummed softly as he was neatly typing out his numbers, when a shadow fell on him.  
Startled he looked up, but the summer sunlight falling from behind hid the details on who it was.  
He just saw the shilouet of a woman, hair in fuzzy disarray.  
"Hello, Castiël." the woman said, poison dripping from her tone.  
' _Lisa! How in the world did she get in here?'_ was the only coherent thought that coursed through him, before she shut the door softly.

Numb, he watched her draw the blinds and lock the door.  
"Lisa... what are you doing?" he finally managed, squinting in the sudden darkness.  
Lisa didn't answer at first. Cas could hear her walk around, picking up things, then discarding them.  
A slight glint in the semi darkness told him she'd found his letteropener. It was silver, about eleven inches long and basically a triangulair spike with a handle. And terrifyingly sharp.  
Frozen, Cas heard the appreciative hum Lisa gave as she tested the point and the weight and balance.

Even though he was expecting it, the cold, needle-like point that pressed against his throat was bone chilling.  
Cas **knew** that letteropener was dangerous. He'd nicked himself with it lots of times, but Gabriel had made it for him in some smelting craft class (claiming that this was what he thought angels would fight with, not those stupid longswords) and it was **his**. Cas' secret weapon.  
Only now it was turned on him.  
"So, you got your hands on my man... stupid move, Castiël." Lisa snarled in his ear.  
Careful to not let the point of the letteropener break his skin, Cas gulped.

"And then you got me fired, and somehow you made sure my only remaining joy, fucking the brains out of Brady, got snatched away too. He broke up with me!" Lisa ranted.  
Ah, so that got her so bent out of shape. Crowley had indeed made good on his threat, and Brady had chosen his job. Smart man!  
"You don't have to do this. I'm sure there is a way to settle this without violence." Cas wavered, but Lisa didn't want to listen.  
"Shut up!" she growled.

Prowling like a caged tiger, Lisa glared at Cas.  
"You and your gay ways... you turned Dean off me, didn't you? Parading around in that sexy suit, showing him how tight that ass is."  
Blinking in the half light, Cas saw her bared teeth, and didn't answer. Anything he'd say would be wrong anyway.  
With a sudden swipe, Lisa threw the little glass windmill his aunt Gemma had sent him to the floor.  
He heard it break, and he steeled himself. This was not good. Lisa had obviously lost her mind when Brady finished it off. She blamed him, Cas for everything that went wrong in her life.

"I had him straight again. He didn't look at men anymore. I cured him... and now... you will lead him off again." Lisa fumed.  
That was weird, because what Cas had gathered, was that she wasn't opposed to kissing the same sex.  
After they'd found out that Dean and he both knew Charlie, Dean had confided in Cas that she had faded out of his life, because Lisa had tried to 'get a piece'. Besides, Cas had seen Lisa, locking lips with Marley (shudder) and Becky, who incidentally looked surprised and spooked when Lisa kissed her.  
He commented on those facts, and Lisa scoffed.

"Really? Oh, Castiël... that was just business." Lisa lightly waved it off. Then her eyes hardened and the preassure on his skin increased.  
"But you... you want Dean for yourself. To love, to hold, to fuck? HAH! You can't have him, Castiël. He is mine. MINE! Once he sees me again, he will come crawling back to me. He can't love you, see. He is straight, and mine. He has been for ten years!"  
When a knock sounded on the door, Cas' heart skipped a beat. Gabriel! Or maybe Becky or someone else... if they'd enter, what woud Lisa do?

Then his heart stopped alltogether, because the one voice he'd always recognise could be heard through the thick plywood.  
"Cas? You in there, bud?"  
' _Dean. Get out! Leave! Don't come in! I'm not worth it!'_ Cas screamed at him in his mind.  
Lisa, however, had different plans.  
"Answer him, or else..." she hissed at Cas, moving the blade closer to his adamsapple.  
Ice crept through his veins, but he couldn't see any way out. Besides, maybe Dean could.  
"Y..Yeah... C...come on in, Dean." Cas ground out, bile rising at the thought of both of them at the mercy of this psychotic woman.

The door opened, and Cas saw those green eyes take in the situation in a flash.  
Then Dean deadpanned and uttered the most blatant lie Cas had ever heard tumbling from those pink lips.  
"Cas? What's going on? Why is it so dark here? I can't see jackshit."  
Dean had excellent nightvision. He never bumped into stuff in the dark, even on the first night in his new home.  
But Cas understood. Lisa never cared enough to notice this, and Dean used it as an advantage.

Taking a step further into the darkened office, Dean pretended to search for Cas, eyes squinting.  
"H...here. I... just uhn..."Cas tried, but Lisa pressed harder, finally breaking the skin.  
Dean's mouth pulled down as he saw Lisa tensing up  
"Coming, bud? I put cold ones in the fridge." he said, playing dumb.  
Knowing Lisa could stab him instantly if he didn't play along, Cas wrenched out the next words through the panic, clawing up his throat.  
"N..not just yet... clo..close the door, Dean."  
His only glimmer of hope, was that Dean knew he was walking into trouble.

With a swift movement, Lisa flicked on the ornate desklight oma had given Cas once.  
Eyes stinging after so long in the dark room, Cas could finally see Dean, his face a mask, but his eyes burning in anger.  
"So nice of you to join us, Dean!" Lisa chimed, falsely kind.  
Dean blinked and scrunged his nose up, which caused Cas to almost sigh happily, because... cute! Only the slow crawl of a bead of blood down his neck stopped him. If he were to sigh, it would force the point in deeper, making the wound worse.


	45. Chapter 45

**Ugh. This one was not as hard as the last, but still it had me revisit, revise and reread Ad nauseam. Still not fully happy with it, but you all deserve to get a fix. You're so patient, my lovelies!  
Again, any slurs and homophobic opinions are NOT mine.**

"Lisa... what the...You're not pregnant!" Dean called out indignantly.  
In the soft glow of the desklight, her belly was clearly flat and in good shape. There was no way she had ever been pregnant.  
A helpless rage built inside Cas. That low down...  
Lisa scoffed and ridiculed Dean for not knowing, admitting to forgeing the test.  
Dean looked calm and unconcerned, but Cas saw the burning anger in those green eyes flare up as they followed the path of that single drop of blood that was sliding under Cas' collar now.

He licked his lips and his voice was only slightly strained when he asked why Lisa was holding Cas hostage.  
Her answer to him made as little sense, as when she gave it to Cas.  
"What's he done? He has made you gay again! I had you back on track, Dean. And along comes mr. Sexvoice with his tight slacks and ruffled hair, and he makes you look at men again!" she snarled, increasing the preassure on he blade ever so lightly. Cas could feel the skin rupturing further and the bloodflow increase a bit.  
Dean must have noticed, because his plea was increasingly more desperate.  
He emphasised that they were roommates, ignoring the fact that beyond that, they had been boyfriends for months now.

"Roommates... I don't care! He still gets to see you every day, and you're MINE! NO-ONE WILL SEE YOU BUT ME! YOU ARE MINE!" Lisa shrieked, still increasing the preassure in tiny increments.  
Dean slumped into a chair, running his hand over his mouth.  
"You're nuts..." he said softly, unbelieving, and Cas' heart broke for him.  
Lisa barked a shrill, unattractive laugh and blamed Dean for her mental state.  
Those green eyes sought out Cas' and Cas could read the sorrow in them like a big, colourful book with five words per page. He blamed himself for their situation!  
"Cas... I'm sorry... I... I never thought..." Dean nearly choked on the words, and Cas fought to stand still and not throw himself at his love.

Bile rose in his throat at the thought that Dean would actually **believe** that the blame here would lie with him.  
"Don't. It isn't your fault, Dean. I understand." Cas all but whispered, and he did, he understood that Lisa, who snapped at them to shut up, was at fault. In her twisted mind, she had made Dean her puppet, instead of her partner.  
Gulping down the sour taste, Cas kept his eyes locked on Dean.  
His love, his partner, his whole life since he stood in Cas' livingroom, free from this insane, posessive woman.

Lisa unblinkingly admitted to basically stalking Dean since highschool, and Cas felt dread course through him.  
If she had been obsessed with Dean since highschool, chances were she'd never give up on him...  
Dean looked sickened, but when he turned those pretty, green eyes on Cas, Cas saw the deep love in them.  
"Lisa... no matter what you do... I'm not going to get back with you. Even if... if you hurt Cas." Dean croaked out, eyes desperately pleading with Cas to try and get out.

Cas clenched his jaw not to call out. Dean was willing to sacrifice himself, Cas could read it loud and clear in those veridian eyes.  
His heart nearly bursting with the love he felt for this diamond in the rough, Cas bit his lip.  
Dean deliberately turned his head away from Cas, and it broke Cas' heart.  
Suddenly, Lisa threw Cas off with a snarl, threatening to kill him if he tried to leave.  
Dean kept her talking, about her mother, Cas thought, but his own mind was racing. What could they use to get out of there in one piece?

His eyes fell on the desk light.  
It was hand crafted, and very, very heavy. If only he could reach it, but he didn't dare move. Lisa was still shooting him glances, to see if he would dare try and make a run for it.  
Shivering with the want to act, to grab the lamp and hit her, Cas did the next best thing.  
He tried to tell Dean the lamp was a weapon, by looking at him, Lisa and the lamp in loops.  
When Lisa slapped Dean across the cheek, Cas gasped, the wound in his neck stinging.

Lisa seemed to collect herself, breathing erratically through her nose.  
"You... no... no. This is not you. You love me, right? You didn't mean that. Any of it. You'll get out of that... faggot house, and stop this all. And we'll live happily..." she stated tremulously.  
Dean scoffed loudly, disdain dripping from every word he said next.  
"If you say 'ever after' I'm gonna puke, so help me..."  
Cas kept up his routine of looking between Dean and Lisa, before flicking his gaze to the lamp.  
Dean's eyes widened in understanding, and Cas nearly wept with relief.  
To Cas' horror, there was a scuffing noise by the door, and Lisa turned on it like a predator.  
"If that's that idiot janitor, or the nightguard, and that door opens, he'll get a knife to the chest." Lisa hissed, and Cas' blood turned to ice.  
At this time? It was almost certain that would be Gabriel. His brother was insatiably curious, and the light would have drawn him.  
With all his might, Cas prayed that Gabriel wasn't the one behind the door. Nor Jacob. Cas wished it was just a rustling paper...

When Lisa turned back to Dean, he hit her with the lamp, hard.  
Cas heard her breath get punched out of her with impact, and Dean was on her, pinning her to the floor face first.  
"You crazy bitch... if Lucifer himself was coming to me, telling me it was living with you again, or Hell... Well, I've always liked the warmth." Dean growled low, making an inapropriate shiver run down Cas' spine.  
Lisa growled, snarled and glared at Dean, who was unimpressed.

Suddenly the door opened and Cas caught a glimpse of his brother, before the giant form of Sam stepped up, asking if they were ok.  
Dean chuckled and answered, relief sounding through in every syllable.  
"Yeah, Sammy. We're good."  
Two police officers and the same Sherrif that had responded to Cas' 911 call in december, were standing in front of everyone, but Gabriel caught sight of Cas, and he pushed his way through.

"Cassie! Oh God! He's bleeding! Jodyyyy!" Gabriel exclaimed dramatically, golden eyes worried.  
Cas chuckled weakly.  
"I'm ok, Gabriel... it's just a nick."  
The Sherrif calmly stepped up and looked at Cas' injury.  
"Ok. 'Fraid not, sunshine. You need stitches, pronto." she declared sternly and whistled.  
Frank Devereaux, their doctor, came bustling in.  
"Frank, back me up here. If memory serves, Francisca's grandkids are as assinine as she is. Stitches?" the Sherrif asked in a no-nonsense way.

Dr. Devereaux agreed and called out to his assistant, Adam to take Cas outside and stitch him up.  
Then the good doc turned on Dean and in his typical way asked if Dean was ok.  
When Dean answered he was fine, Cas could hear his amusement ringing through.  
Dean was ok, he, Cas, was marginally ok...they'd pulled through!  
Sam patted him on the back in passing.  
"Hey Cas. You'll be ok, right?" the tall man asked low.  
Cas nodded and followed Adam out.


	46. Chapter 46

They made their way to the police station, and the Sherrif asked for their statements, including Gabriel and Sam's.  
While Sherrif Mills was interviewing Dean, Cas turned to his brother.  
"Gabriel, what did you mean when you asked Dean's permission to 'take her down'?" he asked, his brain finally catching up.  
Gabriel blushed and looked away, but Sam adamantly pushed him.  
"Tell him. He'll find out anyway." Sam simply said.

Heaving the biggest sigh ever, Gabriel threw his head back and rolled his eyes.  
"Fine! Pushy, pushy, Sammoose." he groused, before looking Cas straight in the eyes.  
His golden eyes were dead serious as he pulled his mouth down.  
"I'm just slightly more involved in the company than you might think, Cassie."  
Cas widened his eyes.  
"What do you mean?" he asked, but Gabriel pulled a file from his messengerbag, and slapped it on the table between them.  
"Read it." Gabriel ground out, before turning to Sam and all but crawled in the big guy.

Baffled, Cas opened the folder and started reading.  
The further he read, the more sickened Cas felt.  
From the evidence in the file, it looked like Lisa had been involved in some sort of prostitution, on a fairly large scale. And not not only involved, but in charge too.  
Nearly gagging in response, Cas closed the folder and looked at Sam and Gabriel.  
"Where did you get this? She targeted young women through Nomed? How did you find out?"  
Gabriel shot a pleading glance at Sam, who simply crossed his arms and gave him a bitchface.

"'Mmistrg'ld." Gabriel mumbled to the floor.  
Cas tilted his head at his brother and simply asked: "What was that, brother?"  
Reluctantly, Gabriel looked up.  
"I'm mr. Gold, ok? Happy?" he bit out.  
Sam looked happy enough for the both of them, but Cas had to sit back.

"You're **what**? You're **mr. Gold**?" he burst out.  
Mr. Gold. The mysterious main shareholder of Nomed. They guy who somehow always knew what was wrong within the company.  
Who made changes that firstly benefitted the employees, then the company, then the clients.  
The guy who had basically saved Nomed from bankruptcy.  
That was his brother? His brother, who worked in maintenance?  
Small wonder mr. Gold always knew what was playing within those walls...  
"Yoooouuuu..." Cas started, and Gabriel winced and huddled against Sam's bulk.

"You manipulative, sneaky troll! You... you... I'm going to go kick your ass!" Cas burst out, anger rising steadily past Medium Dudgeon and climbing towards High Dudgeon.  
He was so upset, he couldn't even form English sentences anymore.  
A cascade of Dutch broke loose from within.  
"Jij kleine, achterbakse, arrogante, over het paard getilde kabouter! Jij vuile, geniepige, onbetrouwbare bruinwerker! Jij hebt het echt achter de ellebogen! Hoe durf je? Je hebt me bespeeld! Gebruikt! Hoe kan ik je ooit nog vertrouwen?"

Gabriel shrank with each sentence and his eyes never left the floor.  
"Sorry, Cassie... ik... ik wilde alleen maar helpen. Goed doen." he mumbled, but Cas was on a roll and wouldn't let up.  
"Goed doen? Helpen? Waarom dan alle poppenkast? Waarom het geheimzinnige gedoe?" he bit out, letting his anger flow.  
"Zodat ik precies wist wat er speelde. Cassie, wie praat er nou **echt** met de grote jongens? Niemand toch? Ik wilde er midden in zitten, zodat ik alles hoorde." he said, his tone pleading Cas to understand, to at least see why he did what he did.  
And Cas did, but the fact that Gabriel had kept him in the dark for so long, severely rubbed Cas the wrong way.

"Maar je kan mij toch vertrouwen? Ik ben verdomme je broer!" he yelled, throat starting to burn and seize up with all the shouting and emotions. His wound burned and pulled.  
Suddenly something else came to his mind, and an icy calm descended on him.  
"Gabey... did you ensure I got hired?" Cas asked, his voice low and dangerously level.  
Sam sat up, placing a hand on Gabriel's shoulder in support.  
"No. He didn't, Cas. He only stated that you had his preference, and he backed it up with evidence. I've read through every report about that job opening. You got in on your skill. Nothing Gabe could've done if you didn't qualify." he said sincerely.

Cas sighed, bone tired after all that had happened the last hour.  
"It's ok, Sam. I understand. And I know where Gabriel is coming from. It... it was just the proverbial straw."  
His throat was raw and his head hurt.  
When a warm hand landed on his shoulder, he didn't even turn to see who it was. He knew anyhow.  
"Hello, Dean."  
"Heya, Cas."

 **Notes:**

 **Dutch to English translations:  
Jij kleine, achterbakse, arrogante, over het paard getilde kabouter! - You little, back-handed, arrogant, stuck up gnome!**

 **Jij vuile, geniepige, onbetrouwbare bruinwerker! - You dirty, sneaky, untrustworthy suck-up!**

 **Jij hebt het echt achter de ellebogen! - You're really underhanded!**

 **Hoe durf je? - How dare you?**

 **Je hebt me bespeeld! Gebruikt! - You have played me! Used(me)!**

 **Hoe kan ik je ooit nog vertrouwen? - How can I ever trust you again?**

 **ik... ik wilde alleen maar helpen. Goed doen. - I... I just wanted to help. Do the right thing.**

 **Goed doen? Helpen? - Do the right thing? Help?**

 **Waarom dan alle poppenkast? - Then why all the theater?**

 **Waarom het geheimzinnige gedoe?- Why all the cloak and dagger?**

 **Zodat ik precies wist wat er speelde. - So I knew what was going on.**

 **Cassie, wie praat er nou echt met de grote jongens? Niemand toch? - Cassie, who really talks to the big guys? No-one, right?**

 **Maar je kan mij toch vertrouwen? - But you can trust me, right?**

 **Ik ben verdomme je broer! - I'm your damned brother!**


	47. Chapter 47

**Another one edited. Still sticking to the rules.**

Cas sighed deeply. He was exhausted.  
Lisa's case had come to trial, and he and Dean decided to be present for the whole thing. Not just as a witness/victim, but also to close off that chapter once and for all.  
Dean had been a bundle of nerves, and Cas had to do his utmost to calm him down.  
Especially when Lisa had once again called Cas a filthy faggot. Dean had seemed ready to jump over the benches and throttle her.  
Not that Cas minded if she got hurt, but his amazing Dean shouldn't have to do jail time for the likes of **her**.  
Especially with what Gabriel had uneathed about her, which was just the tip of the mountain of crap.

Dean crept into the bed and kissed him softly.  
"Night, angel. Love you."  
Cas smiled into the kiss. He could feel Dean's fatigue in it, and it matched his own.  
"Goodnight, Dean. Love you too. Sleep. You are beat."  
Dean kissed him once more, then snuggled down.  
He was out in minutes.  
Cas wasn't as lucky. His mind did not want to shut up about the 'what ifs' and 'maybes' and 'could have, would have, should haves' that were tied in with Lisa.

He finally managed to slip off to dreamland, but was soon woken by moans and whispers from his love.  
"Cas! No.. no, Càs!" Shit. A nightmare... the trial must have broken Dean's hold on those.  
Cas switched on the nightlight, and was shocked to see a tear running down Dean's temple.  
"Dean... Dean... wake up!" Cas tried, but to no avail.  
The moans had turned to quiet sobs of his name.  
Just "Cas... Cas... Cas..." over and over. Soft, broken and heart-shattering.

Desperate, Cas scooted closer.  
"Dean... you're having a nightmare! Please... wake up!" he plead and kissed Dean on the cheek.  
Dean stilled and his eyes opened, emerald shimmering under the tears.  
"Cas..." he gasped, relief, sorrow and worry all rolled up in one syllable.  
Cas pulled him close, kissed his brow in consolation.  
"I'm here, Dean. I'm safe." he promised, wanting nothing more than for Dean to respond.  
Dean turned and kissed him desperately.  
Feeling this was not the way, Cas let his love spill into how he kissed back.

Finally, Dean relaxed and a soft sigh escaped him.  
They kissed for a while and slowly the kisses started to gain heat.  
When Dean pressed his warm lips to the scar in Cas' neck, an unheeded need bubbled to the surface.  
That scar, that thin, white line on his neck... it made Cas feel tainted. Tainted by the hate and bigotry Lisa had.  
"Dean..." he begged softly. "Mark me. Right there... make me yours again!"

Thankfully, Dean understood and he sucked, kissed and nibbled right on the scar, the sensitive tissue sending lightning racing down Cas' spine.  
"Yes..." he gasped, pressing Dean's head closer to his neck to get more, feel more.  
Soon the tenderness gave way to want, and what Dean mostly wanted was to touch Cas, it seemed.  
His hands were all over, touching, feeling, making certain Cas was there, and alive.  
Cas understood. This wasn't the first time Dean dreamt he had been too late.  
So his hands were comforting, reassuring and confirming that, yes, they were still good.

The whole thing was amazing. Cas knew he was touch-affectionate, like Dean, but this was one big make out session, but without the hurry, the desperation to get to the finish.  
Dean's hands somehow ended up at the waistband of Cas' boxers and Cas knew he did want to get to said finish, but he still wasn't in a real hurry.  
They took their sweet time, making tender love.

"Shit... Cas..." Dean punched out, after lying still on top of his love for a while.  
Laughing was difficult, but Cas managed it.  
"Hm. I quite agree..." he rumbled, mind still cloudy.  
Dean seemed hung up on something though.  
"That... I... we... we made..." he stuttered out, seemingly unable to get his ducks in a row.  
Amused, Cas decided to let him off the hook.  
"We made love. I know. And it was amazing. Every time with you is amazing, Dean, but this was..." His voice faded out, unable to describe truely what they had just done.  
Dean rubbed his head against Cas', like a kitten.  
"Yeah... different. I love you, Cas. I... I **need** you."

The way Dean intoned that last bit, showed his undying love more than the actual words before it, and Cas had to kiss his hair with a hum, or he would have proposed marriage right then and there.  
Surely Dean wouldn't want to even think about marriage. Lisa was still fresh on both their minds and...  
Dean tried to lock their eyes, even pushed himself up to do so.  
That needed Cas' attention more than his internal angsting.  
"Cas... will you marry me?" Dean asked, green eyes wide and sincere.

Wait... what? But... he just broke up with... but he also said, months ago that Lisa had nothing on Cas. That Dean loved Cas so much more than he'd ever **thought** he loved Lisa...  
Eyes stinging with happy tears, Cas gasped out his answer.  
"Dean... Yes... YES!"  
He hugged his fiancée close and kissed him wherever he could reach.  
After a bit, Dean pushed off again, looking back into Cas' eyes, his demeanor serious.  
"One thing, Castiël Novak." Dean adamantly stated.  
Curious, Cas waited for him to go on.  
"You wear that sexy, black coat on our wedding day!" Dean commanded.  
Cas doubled over laughing.


	48. Chapter 48

Lisa was convicted, and would never breathe free air again.  
The amazing, matronly judge Mosley was so disgusted by her total lack of remorse, she cut the possibilty of parole off.  
Of course Lisa didn't go quietly, and blamed everything on Cas, but he couldn't find the energy to care.  
The only time he wanted to actually cause her harm, was when she called on Dean for help. "Dean, baby..." she'd said, and Cas had wanted to growl at her, smite her for even trying.  
Dean, however, had curled his lip in disgust, making Cas proud to be with him.  
He reminded Dean of their appointment at the bakery, and they left Lisa behind them.

And now? Now Cas was sitting in their room, watching the backyard.  
Out there, people were waiting, but he had to take a bit of time for himself.  
This morning, his phone had rung, and the caller id had made him smile warmly.  
That smile slid off like water from a duck with one sentence.  
"Castiel, I'm dying..."  
Amelia, his pal and confedant in college, the spunky girl who would pretend to be his girl, when other girls would try and get to Cas, the one girl he might have considered briefly to try and be more with. Amelia was dying. Cancer. It might be quick, it might be slow, she'd said.  
But she also asked him if he was still ok with being the custodian of her now 15 year old daughter.

Of course he was!  
But he wasn't ok with having to imagine the world without Amelia. He loved her like a sister, and had always supported her, and her choice to keep her baby, even though she was barely twenty when she got her.  
He rubbed his face, trying to remember that Amelia could still have years, and got to his feet.  
A knock sounded on his door, and Sam stuck his head around the corner.  
"Ready, Cas?"

The back yard was filled with people, including oma and Bobby, Charlie and Gilda.  
All the people he loved.  
Cas sighed, smiled warmly at Sam and chucked on his black coat.  
"Ready as I'll ever be."  
Sam chuckled and straightened Cas' collar.  
"You look ravishing, Cas. Dean'll have to be restrained." he joked.  
The image that conjured, made a blush appear on Cas' cheeks.  
"Thanks, Sam. You look amazing too. I'm sure that Gabriel will find a secluded spot to grope you to his hearts content, before the day is half done."  
Sam chuckled again. "I'm sort of counting on that." he admitted with a cute blush.

They made their way downstairs, chatting amiably.  
"Good Lord, Cassie! You look simply delectable! I'm sorry I ever left. Had I known you're such a studmuffin..." a cheery voice with a British accent drawled.  
Sam frowned at the blonde guy who stood in the livingroom like it was his.  
"Excuse me? Who the fuck are you?" he growled and Cas grinned at his protectiveness.  
The guy raised a well groomed eyebrow and his grey eyes flicked to him and back to Cas.  
"Cassie? Is this your toyboy?" he asked intrigued, eyeing Sam up and down.

"No. He is **mine** , Balthy. Back. Off." Gabriel growled low from his spot in the kitchen.  
Sam flushed and smiled cutely.  
"Gabey! Really? You and this hunk of man-meat? Wow. Congratulations!" Balthazar quipped.  
Gabriel swiftly crossed the room and took Sam by the arm.  
"Sam, Balthazar Delacroix, Balthy, Sam Winchester, my boyfriend."  
Sam licked his lips and smirked.  
"So, you're the guy I have to thank. Without you, we wouldn't be here, I guess." he stated.  
Seeing Balthazar look utterly non-plussed, Cas drew a conclusion or two.

He grabbed Balthazar by the arm and pulled him to the side with a muttered excuse to his brother and Sam.  
"Balthazar, why are you here?" Cas asked bluntly.  
Balthazar ran a finger over the collar of Cas' white shirt.  
"I came to apologise for just leaving like that, and to see if maybe I stood a chance to... I don't know... get a little closer?" he cooed softly.  
Cas batted Balthazar's hand off and frowned darkly.  
"How did you get in? I know for sure the front door is locked, and you left your key." he stated.

Balthazar shook his head.  
"Cassie, Cassie, Cassie..." he said amused. "Old habits and such, darling. You never lock the scullery door when you're in. Although there's a lot to do in the yard. Having a party, are we?"  
He tried to run his fingers through Cas' hair and Cas ducked irritably.  
"Really, Balthazar. You came at the most inopportune time," he sighed. "but since you're here, you can stay. I hope you'll enjoy."  
Without further ado, Cas turned and walked off towards the garden, Sam and Gabriel grinned and followed him.

Outside, the babble of voices died as soon as Cas stepped outof the scullery door.  
The throng of bodies parted like the red sea, and Cas saw Dean.  
He looked so handsome in his black suit with the dark green accents, Cas nearly decided to call everything off and drag him to the bedroom.  
Dean turned around at the lull in the noise and his eyes lit up when he saw Cas.  
Cas made his way over to where Dean stood and sighed.  
Judge Mosley smiled warmly at them both and clapped her hands loudly.

"Allright people! Order!" she called, and the guests all sat down in the chairs that were placed in rows on the lawn.  
"We're gathered here today..." the judge started, and Cas smiled to himself when he heard the soft "Oh fuck!" from Balthazar.  
Dean didn't notice, but the judge flashed Cas a grin and Balthazar a glare, before continuing.  
"... to witness Dean and Castiel get married."  
Cas ignored the rest of the world to stare at his love and almost husband and listen to judge Mosley tying the knot for them.  
When she asked Dean if he would take Cas to be his lawful wedded husband, Dean smiled, tugged his shirt collar down a bit and answered "I certainly do."  
Cas swallowed down his joyous tears and gave the judge his answer.  
Dean's eyes blew out, then teared up.  
"Go on, sweethearts, kiss." the judge encouraged.  
They kissed, loving, warm and long.  
They only broke apart when the judge called out: "I present to you: mr. and mr. Winchester-Novak."


	49. Chapter 49

Cas had a day off.  
Ever since Gabriel had basically forced him to take time off, Cas had kept an eye on his vacation days, and used them more frequently.  
He'd started the day by making Dean a nice sandwich, the he'd checked his hives, gathered some honey, checked that he still had his present for their 3 month aniversary.  
Yes, Dean would call him a sap, but he could live with that because he just knew those pretty green eyes would light up at the gift.

He was about ready to start dinner, when the landline rang.  
Frowning, Cas made his way over to it.  
Dean always used his mobile number, and so did most of their friends and family.  
"Hello. Winchester-Novak house."  
The voice on the other side was cold, emotionless and Cas did not recognise it.  
"Mr. Novak? Mr. Casteel Novak?" it asked.  
Cringing at the mispronounciation, Cas licked his lips to not be rude.  
"Yes, this is Castiël Novak. Who am I speaking to?"

"Mr. Novak. This is Naomi Drummond at the Child Protective Services. We have in our care one Claire Newman. She has been here since last Monday. We couldn't contact you sooner, because of the legalities."  
Completely non-plussed, Cas sat down on a stool.  
"Wait. What? Claire? What's wrong? Why don't you call Amelia?"  
The voice grew a little impatient, and Cas could almost see long, French manicurend nails tapping a tattoo on a polished desk.  
"That's the problem mr. Novak. We can't. She died last Sunday. That's why Claire is with us."  
The world came to a screeching halt.  
"Amelia... is dead?"

He couldn't tell for the life of him how long he'd been sitting there, staring at the cordless phone on the breakfast bar, but he didn't turn away when Dean called out. He just told him they needed to talk. God! He should have told Dean months ago, on the morning after their wedding, but Cas hadn't had the heart to ruin their first day together with such a heavy topic. And now... he had to drop this on him...  
Dean came in, looking worried.  
"Hey Honeybee. What's up?"  
Not in the mood for silly pleasantries, Cas snapped a reply.  
"The ceiling, Dean. Now could you be serious?"  
Pulling up another stool, Dean sat down. "Sure. Cas... what's wrong?"

Cas looked at his husband and tried to find the right way to tell him they might get an adopted teen daughter.  
"Dean... I... it..." he sighed, running his hand through his hair. He could feel tears starting to sting his eyes and he wanted nothing more than to burrow into Dean's chest and forget the world.  
"Dean, my best friend from college, Amelia, she... she died..." he finally managed.  
Dean moved to hug him, giving a heartfelt condolance, but Cas couldn't accept it. Not yet. He first had to tell the rest.  
He locked his eyes on Dean's, hoping to get through how important this was.  
"She has a daughter... and... Well... she kind of asked me to be her guardian, if anything happened to her... Because the father, he bailed as soon as he heard Amelia was pregnant."

Dean blinked, processing the information, but then his eyes wandered around the room.  
Cas just knew he was assessing, taking in potential threats for children.  
"Of course, Cas. I'd love a kid..." Dean said, assuringly.  
It made Cas chuckle. He had to correct Dean before he started ordering a stair gate...  
"She's fifteen, Dean." he explained.  
Dean's eyes widened a bit and he gulped, as he realised what Cas had said.  
"Fine, a teen girl then. We'll make this work, angel. Don't worry. So, What's her name?"  
Warmth burst loose in Cas' chest. That was his Dean. Accepting, helpfull, and caring.  
He finally hugged Dean, then looked him loving in the eyes as he told him: "Claire... our daughter will be Claire."

Dean blanched and his eyes grew impossibly wide.  
"Dean... I'm sorry. I should have told you about this."  
Shaking his head as if to clear it, Dean smiled warmly.  
"Cas, angel, I'm ok with this. You know, the getting a kid, well teenager, isn't such a big deal for me. I practically raised Sammy. And you have kept Gabe on the straight and narrow for years! I'm sure we'll be great."

Dean offered to cook dinner, since Cas just couldn't bare to keep on keeping on. He'd lost a dear friend, and was suddenly up for being a parental figure.  
He sighed and shoved his hand in his pocket.  
It hit the tiny box that he'd kept there all day, just to be sure he'd have it near when Dean was home. Shit. He'd almost forgotten. What kind of parent would je be, if he did stuff like that? Doubt crashed over him.  
"Dean..." Cas called softly.  
Dean turned around, a smear of tomatosauce on his cheek. He was such a gem! Suddenly Cas knew they would survive anything together. Even with a teen on their way, they would always be ok.

 **Notes:**

 **And there you have it, my darlings. Cas' point of view. He took way longer than I anticipated, but you helped me through it, and I love you for it!**


End file.
